The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Walking In A Winter Sober Land!

[Mouseface]

Hello Brave Babes, I'm Mouse :)

Welcome to the 'Bus Of Fun' (now you've come of age!)

This is a thread for those who want to give up drink completely, or are maybe thinking about doing controlled drinking, or cutting down slowly, with a view to quitting or not... it's up to you.

You know your limits, you know what is required, it's in your hands. And only you can make it happen.

Whatever your goal, you'll find support here. Always.

There will be talk of drinking and those who fall off the Bus (arse over tit) will post about it, so if that is going to jeopardise your chances of complete sobriety, then maybe the DRY thread would suit you better, as they are complete abstainers. :)

That said, this Bus is happy to have you no matter what, as long as you can cope with chat of drinking, nights out/in, failures, cyclical drinkers, etc......

Everyone has always been welcome here and shall remain to be.

No-one is ever turned away. EVER.

There are no hard and fast rules, other than the support here is unconditional, it may be in the form of tough love at times, but it's always meant with the very best of intentions.

There are two sayings that we like here -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

The rest kind of happens as the posts appear.

I hope that's okay with you all.

You'll find the last thread HERE, THAT WILL LEAD TO THREADS BEFORE IT, SOME HISTORY

And the original and real, truly heartfelt reason that we are here in the first place is HERE. A VERY SOBERING READ

The Bus may be 'mythical', but the support is real, honest and will help you to achieve what it is that you seek, as long as you are honest with us, but mostly, YOURSELF

See you soon. x

Hi babes, day nine and I think I've had a slight boing :) Up early, shopping done, house blitzed, and food cravings finally seem to have calmed down. Touch wood. Can't quite believe I've already got through the first week of dry January, it really helps that so many of us are trying - a few rl friends are doing it so not having to explain myself to anyone.

Sorry not to nc, on my phone and it's awkward but I've read them all. Loved reading all the positives about being af, I find it helps to hold onto them when the ww comes calling!

Hi everyone! I have managed to keep myself quite busy today but now that it is getting a bit later and DD's bedtime is nearing, I have got the grumps and the thought of a nice glass of Rose seems quite tempting.... I don't want to cave in though. I know I can't do one glass - it will be a bottle if I start. I am going to take one day at a time. So I will not drink today. That is my focus and my mantra this evening .

Oh dear..... I have just managed to fall out with my DM over a matter that has been bugging me for a couple of years and having a considerable impact on my family.
Until 20 minutes ago I have always been of the "oh well, what can I do" camp. Worryingly the AF me is demanding action, with quite possibly disastrous consequences (we don't have much family left, not an ideal situation to be falling out with the ones that are still about)
This may be a side to being AF that I will need to monitor
It also occurs to me that when I was younger I would always stick up for myself and would not take any injustices lying down. Drinking seems to have eroded that part of me as well and I am really not the person I used to be :(

Good evening all Brave Babes

I love this bus

Day 8 for me - woooooo hooooo I'm in slight danger zone as I fell off last time at Day 9.

DD2 had a fitful sleep, still has a dull headache. But she went to school and seems fine this evening phew

Mouse it's so good to have you back I hope it went well with the school today x thank you for your kind words x

Baby well done babe - you avoided that WW bitch yesterday, you are a star

Crotch it's really interesting how it all seems to become clearer being AF, it's almost like 'clearing out emotions' if that makes sense

Beaches DH drinking again - WELL DONE I'm very proud of you - don't worry too much about the diet, it's more important to kick that bitch up her worty bottom. (speaking of Worts I've made an appointment with the Doc to get mine sorted - on my face other Babes, not my bum)

Anne Congrats on the boing

Dancer stay with us Babe, have you got any yummy sweet things to eat? Have a lovely long bath, maybe go to bed early

I'm sending you loads of hugs, you will get there Babe x stay with us and keep posting, we all really care about you x

Soc Hello Babe hope you've had a good day x

Shit my post has got really long

Evening All, just been catching up with everyone's posts.

SO, Anneis has found her 'boing' - you sound so positive.

Dancer - you're resisting, that's brilliant - just a minute at a time until it passes.

Crotch I don't have anything helpful regarding your family, but you need to be true to yourself, some people may be upset that you are no longer so accepting - pick your battles, if it's important to you demand that action!

Mouse, lovely to see you posting, I hope your day has been good.

Everyone else . . . .

I've had a busy day (hence this is my first check in) whole day of 'staff development' with a meeting in the middle, followed by catching up on emails. The meeting was one that would normally have had me anxious and tempted to a lunch time drink to steady my nerves - a colleague projecting her own inadequacies and issues on to me. Today though, I was calm, clearheaded and quick enough to head her off and to keep the meeting friendly but firm (back off of my stuff, girl and get your own house in order!).

This is day seven for me, and without this forum - and all of you, I would have given up days ago like I have in the past.

Hi Spanna

Hi Sweet well done with the meeting Babe Day 7 is brilliant keep kicking that WW worty bitches ass x

spanna glad dd is recovering it must be such a relief x

Well done sweet week one done :)

Have had a much more productive day than usual. Hope it continues. When I'm drinking - even just a glass or two - I get the necessities done but it feels like I'm crawling through the day waiting for wine o'clock....

I got to the point, Anne where I'm not sure whether I was drinking to avoid doing things, or not doing things because I was drinking. Just one big heap of activity avoidance!

Glad you're able to be productive

Good evening and big hugs to all on the bus.

Thanks for being understanding about my swearing, I don't tend to do it in rl, maybe I need to sometimes.....I love the bus too (handing out and biscuits).

Horrible, stressful day at work. In fact, its been like that for the last few weeks. Departmental closures ahead, low moral and high stress levels.

I feel proud that I've not drank in the face of this stress, though.

And dh has asked me if I'm joining him for a glass of wine this evening, seeing as I was stressed when I got home. And he has put a bottle of wine in the fridge....eek. Going to seek refuge in the bathroom....

I haven't told him just how serious I feel about this cutting down ( thought he'd have cotton-ed on by now, though, judging by how much I drank beforehand lol). Men! Its day 5 anyway.

Happy Thursday everyone, hope the evening is going well and any temptations have been bashed into submission with a large stick.

I've removed all wine from the fridge and not feeling too bad with everything at the moment as we've decided not to go out this weekend as we're both dieting and work is really busy. However I've just been invited to a mates birthday and I just don't know how to go and not drink - it will definitely be a VERY boozy affair, the last one, well lets just say I have a 3 hour hole in the middle of the evening and found myself at the station with no money, crying on the phone to DH; no idea how I got there from the pub and had to get the train home without a ticket

Noone will believe I'm not drinking and my friends just buy drinks and put them in your hand - I know I don't have the willpower to turn down , and it's first week in Feb, so dry jan won't work... in desperation I've signed up for a half marathon event in April!! My (admittedly screwed up) logic is that if I'm training I have to be healthy and I can say no to wine and people will laugh, but may listen.

Unfortunately I'm not fit and have never run anywhere - wtf was I thinking?

I was also thinking about asking one of two of the worst offenders for buying drinks not to, but to ask them beforehand, not on the night, so they know I'm serious. Just don't know how to approach it without them thinking I'm being a drama queen. I hate my lack of control when drinking but noone seems to understand it's not actually something I can control; even DH said "you don't need to stop completely, just slow down when you get tipsy" when I suggested my new year res should be to stop drinking. Then he hates it when I get drunk; I know for everyone else there is that warning, but I always think I can drink more, I go from fine to black hole so quickly.

Do you think I should say something? or just go with a 'soda and lime only' policy - I like the suggestion of visualising what I'll ask for - I always get thrown and just say a glass of wine, and then it's the beginning of the end.

S xx (and don't worry mouse, I like smurfette, I only added the purple in front because there were already multiple ones on MN!)

Day 9 done. This is where I caved in last year so hoping for double figures for the first time since I was pg with ds- 12 years ago. Amazing.
Saturday night is a wee party for my pending birthday so I have to decide whether or not to have a drink or not....tough one. I'm scared if I do that I won't be able to get back on track again.
Pluses after nearly 10 days...no more paracetamol for breakfast,reduction in bloating and gut,increased energy. About £50 saved. Feel lighter.

Worried about tommorow not sure what shes going to say,

Evening babes

Just checking in and then off to bed. Well done all. ma that is fab- would you like a pom pom dance from me or some green opal fruits? don't answer that

smurfette do you mind if I answer your q about friends? imo people can see it as a bit of a challenge when you initially give up drinking,because it affects their own drinking too.
Personally,I would just go down the 'soda & lime' route and only give an explanation if they ask. A really brief 'I'm ok thanks,not drinking tonight' covers most events.If you want to go completely sober then people stop asking after a bit,it's only interesting at first. Good luck whatever happens.

Night all x

I'm whatever is said,we will all be here with best wishes and hand holding services. Good luck,lovely.

Oh I'm - sweetie, please be strong and stay YOU! You have got to be safe, get the fuck out of there. I mean NOW! x

Today has been very very hard, it's my Dad's birthday and I am gutted that I can't be with him, he woke alone and has been alone without my mum all day.

I miss her, I want her alive, I need her alive.

Sorry Babes, off to bed xxx

Ma well done on day 9 lovely Day 10 will be a huge achievement, I know you can do it x

Beaches are you ok babe?

I'm sending you hugs and Good Luck for tomorrow. Be strong, focused, ask for what you want and sock it to them xxx

Rural it was good to hear from you the other day

Hope how you doing babe?

Isinde

Good night all Brave Babes sleep well (except for Soc who I hope is driving the lovely Gerald) where are we headed tonight? x

x

Guggs wise words

I'm have you made a list of everything you want to discuss with SS, it may help to remember when with her all you need to mention (just an idea). Focus on what you need for your DC and YOU. Peace of mind, to be safe without any abuse. Try and get some sleep as you'll need your energy.

Thanks I'm a bit worried as I'm lost how much do I disclose, its hard x

I'm wouldn't it be best to say everything? Maybe another Babe is better equipped to answer that one. She needs to know what's going on so that she can make recommendation to get you away from him etc She is supposed to be on your side. Maybe see how you feel when you meet? sorry I'm not really being much help xxx

I'm - answer their questions with the simplest of details. Keep it brief, if they ask for more detail, then drip feed......

You are entitled to live in a safe place, with your DC, and be free from abuse. Write that down. That is your goal.

YOU MUST BE SAFE. YOU MUST KEEP IT REAL. YOU MUST PROTECT YOURSELF AND YOUR DC xxx

Thankyou guggenheim I'll just do that; I want to keep it as low key as possible.

Mouse I'm just sending hugs - huge ones

I'm I don't know the details but whatever you're going through sounds horrid. Keep your head up, you know what you need out of it - be strong and sound confident, you have the right to be safe xx

S x

Just a quick check in, so good to be back on the bus.
Day 1 done.
Taken a strong sleeping tablet and can't think straight but at least its not due to alcohol.
Must go to bed.
good luck tomorrow Im
Ma mouse soc spanna guggs and all other babes old and new, sleep well or have a good day depending where you are.
Goodnight allxx

Morning Babes

You'll be delighted to know we are all back to the beach tonight. Don your bikini's and get your lime and soda's frozen so they're at the right temperature for the scorcher of a day we're going to have.

I keep putting off writing because I'm always in such a hurry that I know I won't nc so I decided I just need to check in and sometimes I can't nc. Even though I know how nice it is to be 'named'. We're such an egotistical bunch... so apologies. I love you all. And I read everything and am so grateful to everyone who posts as they all help. Sometimes I read back and it really keeps me from wanting that drink.

I'm feeling incredible. Day 10 here. Someone just up the page purple said how she goes from fine to black hole in a short space of time. That's exactly me. I'll be having a good time and then just one drink later and I completely lose everything. It's pretty scary.

So just a mere 10 days without alcohol and I'm feeling so much better. So much more patient, work is under control, I'm nicer, no more bloating, no more twitches in my liver, I'm sleeping better. I feel amazing. Anxiety is much less. Why would I want to go back to that awful alcoholic life?

But I've got a few HUGE hurdles coming my way. Trying not to think about them too much. There's that weird logic that if I'm going to drink at xx occasion then why don't I just flag the whole of dry January and I may as well drink tonight. I find this one of the hardest things to deal with. How do I stay sober in the days/weeks leading up to an occasion. Do I just not participate in anything for a few months? I have a huge holiday in April that I'm already stressing about.

but other than that I'm feeling fabulous. Just need to focus on today and today I am definitely NOT drinking. Take that WW.....

Soc
xx

Im very good luck for tomorrow babe xxx

Spanna I am fine thanks lovely , it is saggy tits time here and I am sorely bloody tempted BUT I have my eye on double figures so ploughing on! Really pleased to hear your dd seems to have recovered from yesterday's scare. Day 8! You are doing great. So the dreaded day 9 falls on a Friday - you may have to white knuckle through that one. Actually we may have to do a group white knuckle tomorrow - Fridays always have that extra difficulty level. However, a hangover free Saturday is a joyous thing.

Crotch hope the run in with DM hasn't knocked you off balance too much. Always upsetting but sometimes things need to be aired.

Well done's to all you babes who have bashed the witch tonight Anne, Ma, Dancer, Sweet, Itsthe, Smurfette. For those with up coming social things, one option is to say you have a bit of a headache so will start with a large orange and lemonade (or similar). This deflects the first round and also quenches your thirst so if you have a drink after that you will be less likely to guzzle it. Or you can stick to your story and have another soft drink, by which time others are too tipsy to notice, or care much what you are drinking. I think this is one of Venus's suggestions and it always sounded good to me. Anyway good luck.

Mouse keep shuffling forward, sometimes it's all you can do. X

Waves to isinde, guggs, rural, hope

soc you sound great! Well done on double figures! I remember you saying before Christmas that you had some occasions in January that were worrying you. I can't work out if you are planning to drink or not - maybe you are still considering it. I do get the 'well if I am going to on xxx then what's stopping me now?' kind of thoughts. It's such a mental game. I am aware of an underlying voice always trying to find some logical argument as to why I don't really have any issue and a glass of wine is fine. I also have the 'stuff the glass, give me the bottle voice' . I am waffling again, just take me to the beach and dump me on the hot, hot sand