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Original poster

Women watching porn

264 replies

OhGodAmITheOnlyOne · 11/12/2013 20:35

I've name changed and also posted about this in chat, but thought I might get better response here. This is 100% genuine. I occasionally look at porn or read erotic stories because it gets me in the mood. I don't know if DH knows, but I was wondering if it's common, if many women do? Or am I an awful person? Hmm

OP posts:
MoreThanChristmasCrackers · 19/12/2013 23:21

I also like amateur porn, far more realistic than the other stuff.
My dh knows though and we usually, but not always watch together.
Neither of us has a problem with this.

Montane50 · 19/12/2013 23:33

Ive just discussed this thread with my DP, his take (do not shoot the messenger), If women gave their DPs a bit more than missionary they wouldnt need porn. Thats a male point of view.

SolidGoldBrass · 19/12/2013 23:46

Montane: Maybe the DPs should do some work on their own techniques, too. Sometimes when a woman goes off sex it's because the man is crap at it.

Montane50 · 19/12/2013 23:47

SGB how very true! my EXH was ok but complacent and my goodness-boring wasnt the word!

MerryFuckingChristmas · 20/12/2013 00:03

Montane, whoosh that's all I am saying Smile

MerryFuckingChristmas · 20/12/2013 00:04

Your do sounds like right fucking stud muffin, montane

Keith Lemon pales in comparison...

MerryFuckingChristmas · 20/12/2013 00:05

*dp

Montane50 · 20/12/2013 00:43

MFC -lol! hes just a very good wind up merchant! Ive told him about this thread and the very serious replies-basically id batter him if he was serious!

MerryFuckingChristmas · 20/12/2013 07:00

Lol

Vivacia · 20/12/2013 07:24

Puce got a gem there Montane. You lucky, lucky woman.

Vivacia · 20/12/2013 07:24

"Puce"? "You've"!

MostWicked · 20/12/2013 10:22

Ive just discussed this thread with my DP, his take (do not shoot the messenger), If women gave their DPs a bit more than missionary they wouldnt need porn. Thats a male point of view.

Wind up or not, it reinforces the perception that so many people have, that sex is something that men do to women.

It is clear that a lot of women object to porn, because they see the man doing things to the woman, rather than a couple having an amazingly pleasurable time. There are some women who cannot comprehend, why the woman in the film, would be enjoying the whole experience.
That's not to say that they don't still have a great sex life, but either the idea of being filmed isn't a turn on (idea, not reality) or the acts that are taking place on screen, aren't a turn on - either purely as fantasy, or as a reality.

MerryFuckingChristmas · 20/12/2013 10:35

You don't get it, MW

I know there is some filmed erotic material where all partners are fully consenting and equally enjoying the experience

The thing for me is, I have no way of ensuring that is what I am watching as opposed to someone abused, coerced or hoodwinked (and neither do you, unless you only watch selfies)

There is no acceptable margin for error, IMO, so I choose not to take the risk that I was using the sexual exploitation of other people to assist in my sex life

thisismyYuleTimenickname · 20/12/2013 10:50

You can't even know if nude selfies are online because the person in the photo wanted them to be either.
I recently read this:
jezebel.com/one-womans-dangerous-war-against-the-most-hated-man-on-1469240835
About a woman whose daughter had her email hacked and an artistic topless photo was published on the web.

thisismyYuleTimenickname · 20/12/2013 10:54

Disclaimer: Unless it's the person's blog or similar.

MerryFuckingChristmas · 20/12/2013 11:42

I meant that he only watched himself in content he uploaded himself

turbochildren · 20/12/2013 11:57

I wrote a long post that got lost, but for me the important thing is that it is simply not true that men watch porn because the wimmin are not giving out enough exiting sex. I find that offensive, and it makes me sad that people think their base desire to jerk off trumping the awfulness connected to abuse. that said, nothing against wanting to watch sex or people posting their own sexual adventures online, but the importance must be to ensure you go to guarantueed good sites, which apparently exist.
We aren't rutting animals. We are sexual beings with capacity for empathy and concern.
The flipside of the coin regarding Mntane's DP's charming remark, is that many women, including me, found that sex had to become ever more adventurous after "D"p watched porn. regard for the other person went down, and boundaries became at best very blurred.

thisismyYuleTimenickname · 20/12/2013 11:59

meant that he only watched himself in content he uploaded himself

Ah okay! Xmas Smile

Vivacia · 20/12/2013 12:10

It is clear that a lot of women object to porn, because they see the man doing things to the woman, rather than a couple having an amazingly pleasurable time. There are some women who cannot comprehend, why the woman in the film, would be enjoying the whole experience.

It's a fallacy that people object to porn because they object to sex. It is perfectly possible to have a healthy/fulfilling/dirty/adventurous/whatever sex life and be against porn because of it's exploitative and harmful nature.

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism · 20/12/2013 12:28

"It is clear that a lot of women object to porn, because they see the man doing things to the woman, rather than a couple having an amazingly pleasurable time. There are some women who cannot comprehend, why the woman in the film, would be enjoying the whole experience."

Has anyone put forward that argument on this thread? Has anyone actually said, "Ooh the reason I dislike porn is because I dislike sex?"

No, I didn't think so. I'm afraid that is in your little imagination, MostWicked.

cuppachai · 20/12/2013 12:43

That's not what she is saying, you have misunderstood her post.

cuppachai · 20/12/2013 12:46

What she is quite rightly saying is, a lot of women object to sex that is entirely geared around pleasure for the man and to hell with what is pleasurable for the women. MOST porn movies show this kind of sex. I'm sure a lot less women would object to porn and a lot more would actually watch it, if it showed the woman having a good time! Not being ritually abused and humiliated.

Vivacia · 20/12/2013 13:57

You may well be right cuppachai I, for one, may have misinterpreted this sentence, "There are some women who cannot comprehend, why the woman in the film, would be enjoying the whole experience." as meaning "there are some women who cannot comprehend that a woman would be enjoying sex".

You said, I'm sure a lot less women would object to porn and a lot more would actually watch it, if it showed the woman having a good time! Not being ritually abused and humiliated

I think far fewer people would object to porn if there wasn't so much evidence that it is exploiting and harmful to the participants, the viewers, the viewers' relationships and societal attitudes to women and sex in general.

MostWicked · 20/12/2013 16:02

You may well be right cuppachai I, for one, may have misinterpreted this sentence, "There are some women who cannot comprehend, why the woman in the film, would be enjoying the whole experience." as meaning "there are some women who cannot comprehend that a woman would be enjoying sex".

Yes you have misinterpreted that, which is exactly why I went on to say: "That's not to say that they don't still have a great sex life, but either the idea of being filmed isn't a turn on (idea, not reality) or the acts that are taking place on screen, aren't a turn on - either purely as fantasy, or as a reality."

By specifying "the whole experience" I wasn't just talking about the sex, I was talking about the act of being filmed at the same time.
I think the reason why I enjoy the porn that I do watch, is because I can imagine myself in that position with my DH. It's pure fantasy. And no, I don't need porn to light my imagination, I have no problem there, but I am very visual too, and I like to watch. The whole visual side of sex is important to me.

ProfessorDent · 20/12/2013 20:57

Not sure that a lot of the women are completely coerced, I mean how do you get porn stars if that's the case? Surely they know what they're doing, admittedly different issues apply when you look at the bigger picture.