So, what do we think of Melanie Sykes now....

[GemmaTeller]

....she's been arrested for domestic violence on her husband?

Who?

THe Boddingtons ice cream van advert.

Lunchtime programme with Des (o'connor) and Mel.

Err...

What has happened?

Well something's gone badly wrong. Has she been charged with anything?

DP tells me she was cautioned for common assault.

Awful! It must have been serious too as she was charged with assault and recived a caution.

Alot like Emma Roberts, nothing much in the media is said about it.
Some of the most disturbing photos I saw as of Emma Roberts BF comforting her when they came out of court from her DV hearing.

Arrested and cautioned according to the BBC

I think nothing of her, but that society as a whole needs to recognise that women can be violent too.

Evil woman.

Put your clothes back on stop posting selfies and shut up that's what I think of her, she's a tart to put it politely

Which has precisely what to do with anything, str8?

Violence unacceptable (although am more sympathetic to 'we don't know full story' than I would be in case of a man arrested for same). Flaunting own sexuality utterly acceptable - if you don't like it, don't look. (I've managed to never see MS's "tarty selfies".)

I think in recent years she' become a bit sad and desperate. I feel sorry for her.

would you feel sorry for a man who hit a woman if he was 'desperate'?

All abusers are sad and desperate. Male or female.

I think its sad that in cases where men are the agressor, they are instantly guilty and an abuser, but if its a female agressor we do think "we don't know the full story." I am thinking that myself and I wish I wasn't.

Bottom line is, there is no excuse for violence.

Exactly what wannabe said.

I was a victim of, and despise domestic abuse. And yet it is somehow hard wired into our brains to look for a reason when it's a woman that's the perpetrator, god knows why.

But the truth is that, statistically, cases of women assaulting men are different. Often it's the case that a woman who has been systematically abused for year snaps and retaliates. This is far less often true of male DV.

I'm not in any position to speculate about MS, but in the abstract I think it's reasonable that we wonder 'why' more about female perpetrators.

To be clear, as a lesbian survivor of DV I'm certainly v aware that women can and do commit straightforward abuse. But the circumstances are proportionately more often more complicated than male abuse.

I think if it was a male against female dv case this thread would be a lot longer

I think DV is equally disgusting no matter which gender commits it. I have no respect for anyone who thinks it is acceptable to physically hurt another human being. I think it must be hard for her husband to admit what happened as it is still a taboo subject for many.

But mainly I just think it's incredibly sad that if the situation was reversed there would have been a much bigger outcry

I meant I felt sorry at how low she has sunk. Not excusing DV, sorry if it came over like that.

likelytoasksillyquestions
Often it's the case that a woman who has been systematically abused for year snaps and retaliates. This is far less often true of male DV.

Really? And you have cites for that, of course?
With the change in focus from DV physical to DA emotional, I think that is no longer true

I'm not in any position to speculate about MS, but in the abstract I think it's reasonable that we wonder 'why' more about female perpetrators.

Probably because DV/DA on men has been chronically under reported, and not recognised even by some of the victims.

To be clear, as a lesbian survivor of DV I'm certainly v aware that women can and do commit straightforward abuse. But the circumstances are proportionately more often more complicated than male abuse.

Develop that a bit more? Is that because there is less frequently a physical component?
(In those terms, FWIW, I'm a survivor of DV/DA)

I think MS is a perpetrator, she's now been cautioned, and if there's a repition we'll see what develops. As with all perpetrators you can look to underlying causes, but there is no excuse.

Very horrible.

My DDad is suffering emotional abuse (sometimes physical, not enough to cause injury, when she's drunk) at the hands of my stepmum. He's 75 years old. I'm desperately trying to help him see he has alternative options but he's scared and feels stuck :(

I think domestic abuse on men is probably far more prevalent than would seem, particularly emotional abuse/bullying.

I think she's rough.Always have though nothing to do with her latest antics

OneMoreChap, no I don't have any cites, and if you have any to indicate it's an even distribution I'm happy to hear them and retract my hypothesis.

I agree there's likely to be significant under-recognition and under-reporting of female-on-male DV/DA. But - in the context of a society where men hold substantially more power than women - I would be very, very surprised if men are victims, and women perpetrators, of partner abuse in roughly equal numbers. I think this holds whether we talk narrowly about physical abuse (well, I'm fairly certain it holds in that case - are two women a week still killed by their partners?), or whether we use broader understandings of abuse.

That's very sad about your dad, threesteps. :(

Oh god no, I don't think you can say a lot of women commit DA in retaliation

I think it's more that women are stereotyped to be somehow softer, maternal, perhaps physically weaker than men so it's often more shocking because it goes against that stereotype, but I strongly believe it's vastly under reported by men.

Gender doesn't affect my view of it at all.

I agree with that likely, it does seem to be far greater numbers in women, I just hope that one day society can view all abuse as equally abhorrent.

Ridiculously optimistic, I know.