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Original poster

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Stepping Into Christmas With Sobriety On Their Minds.

999 replies

Mouseface · 16/11/2013 13:41

Hello, tis me, Mouse Smile

This is a thread for those who are worried about their drinking habits, relationships with alcohol, and/or drugs.

Even if you think your intake has gone up more today than the last or this week than last, come and join us on Gerald, the amazing, always room for more, fully stocked with glorious treats and donned in his Christmas Decorations, Bus!

We are a supportive thread, full of very different posters, from various backgrounds. Some of us drink in moderation, allowing ourselves the odd glass or two as a treat, or just because we're in control of our drinking for that day.

One Day At A Time.

We have those who abstain completely, and those who wake every day to Day 1 and hope with all of their hearts that they can, and will, make it to Day 2.

If you've followed our journey to date, you'll know who most of us are by now smile and we kind of have two 'sayings', that sum up who we are -

    • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
    • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

That said, we will not have any bashing of support groups, such as AA or Community Addiction Support Teams, or even other support threads, posts like that will be reported if the need arises, so 'Orange Paper supporters' don't waste your time please :)

This Bus is a place for honesty, sanctuary and safety, something that has taken almost four years for a number of very special, very lovely, very honest and caring Babes to establish.

So, come find a seat, grab something warm from the supply cupboard at the back of the Bus, it's filled with (non alcoholic or narcotic) delicious, luxury treats and HUGE fluffy quilts, plus anything else you might need to help YOU get through YOUR day a minute, or an hour at a time.

And, if you'd like to see where this all began - This Is The Reason We're All Here, The Original JWN Thread

And This Is Our Previous Thread, With Links To Those Over The Past Few Years

We hope to meet you soon :) x

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 02/12/2013 20:35

Lovely poems Isinde and Why. So very touching.

spanna41 · 02/12/2013 21:08

Why keep focused, you've come this far Smile remember why you're getting through all of this. You are so strong x

Mouse I hope the funeral goes as your DM would wish x memories do bring strength xxx

spanna41 · 02/12/2013 21:11

Hope totally understand Grin hope today wasn't too bad Hmm

whydidthishappen · 02/12/2013 23:01

The doctor has told Social Services that my 9 month old son is suffering from separation anxiety and the screaming is for his mother.

They have refused to schedule visitation until Friday at the earliest.

I have now collapsed into a mess of tears. My lawyer has filed papers in court.

Original poster
Mouseface · 02/12/2013 23:15

Why - I'm so sorry you are going through this still, it's good that SS are telling the courts that your son is suffering from separation anxiety, he actually WILL BE! Angry

Why do these idiots not see that? I want to hug you, you've suffered so much but you are SOBER!!!

You've done what was asked of you and continue to do so..... I'm agast as to why they are keeping you from your role in this world still......

Massive hugs. I'm just so sorry that you can't get where you need to be. Friday is such a long way off. Thinking of you sweetheart xxx

The poems on here have been amazing xxx

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 02/12/2013 23:16

Sometimes the closer it gets, the harder it is to bear Why. I don't know why that is but I do know that this must be heartbreakingly awful for you.

I'm so sorry that you are having to suffer. Your little boy won't remember this and you will have the rest of your lives together to share every moment. Dig deep. You are nearly there, just take it one moment at a time. Breathe in, breathe out. Each breath takes you one step closer to Friday.

I really don't know what else to say. You are a great mum, you'll get there in the end x

Original poster
Mouseface · 02/12/2013 23:41

What Faire said Why!!

Perfect as always xxx

Night all xxx

OP posts:
whydidthishappen · 03/12/2013 02:28

Thank you faire and mouse. Social services have been informed of his separation anxiety and THEY are still refusing to facilitate the visits. My lawyer has filed a motion removing all barriers to access to my child today. The court has until Friday to make a ruling on it.

I'm really hoping that it works out.

SocFish · 03/12/2013 04:25

why crossing all my finger and toes for you. I would so love you to have some good news. You deserve it.
xx

lookingforhope · 03/12/2013 07:58

why it makes my blood boil that social services are not listening to medical opinion on what is best for yourson. Or even having any human common sense and empathy. You are doing so well though, keep going, you will get there and as faire says, ds won't remember this and you will havevthe rest of your lives together once this is over. Sending you big hugs today - one day closer to Friday xxxxx

aliasjoey · 03/12/2013 09:30

mouse thinking of you, and your dad, and the rest of your family

babyjane1 · 03/12/2013 10:41

Morning babes, why the end is in sight, you have done so so well to stay strong through all this heartache, Friday will bring good news I hope xx mouse your in my thoughts and prayers each night and day. Love to all xx

beachestoexplore · 03/12/2013 11:23

why how horrendous for you, they tell you your baby is in distress and then prevent you from helping him. How bloody cruel. You are a incredibly strong and determined lady. I desperately hope the courts make a compassionate decision for you and him. I agree with faire and hope that he won't remember this, by the time he does remember you WILL be there. Lots of love to you xxx

Love to mouse and all other babes x

ruralreynard · 03/12/2013 11:26

Why sending you love and strength. Every day you are closer to getting your ds back with you. Thinking of you. xx
mouse thinking of you and your familyxx
Love to everyone else.
Day 4 here and not getting much sleep so no sign of a boing. The clear head and no hidden empties makes it worthwhile. Grin

venusandmars · 03/12/2013 15:42

I was out for lunch with a group of friends today an a couple of them were trying to encourage another one to have wine "oh go on, it's Christmas" they said. Grrrrrrr Angry It's NOT Christmas, it's the 3rd of December and that's 3 whole weeks away. It wasn't even a 'christmas meet-up' and we'll see each other in a couple of weeks time.

It's just struck a raw nerve because it reminds me of how much pressure there is to be 'sociable' at this time of year, and also a bit Blush because I feel guilty about using exactly the same words in previous times - all for the sake of making me feel better about my own drinking Sad

Hope all Babes are feeling strong today - have a peaceful evening.

SocFish · 03/12/2013 21:12

Morning Babes
venus yes, I'm already getting that. It's going to be a tough month and I also have used those words in the past which makes me feel mortified because maybe I said that to someone who was trying to desperately to give up.
Bloody alcohol, it's awful.
rural yes the no hidden bottles is a nice bonus....I still cringe sometimes, but I'm always on the edge of going straight back to that behaviour.
I'm battling - actually can't wait till December is over and I can aim to start the new year with the intention of a sober year.
Hope mouse is ok and I hope why has good news soon. I cannot imagine the pain both of you are going through.
xxx

venusandmars · 03/12/2013 22:05

why hope your week gets better - you have been amazing to keep sober through all of this. If look back on my life and I see how often I'd give in to a drink because I was having "such an AWFUL day" yet in reality most of it was just the normal small bumps of life. I was using it as an excuse. I see how well you are doing and I applaud you.

Original poster
Mouseface · 03/12/2013 22:48

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Tomorrow I will say my last goodbye to my mum. Tomorrow is already swimming around my head, round and around in my head, the visions, of mourners, the sorrow in people's faces, faces I know/knew, the lost eyes, the empty words that people struggle to fill.................

The truly wonderful and always well meaning people who care about and love me, they're the ones I feel sorry for. Seeing my pain.

Unable to take it away, unable to stop the pain, ease it.

I'm so scared for my dad, I want him to be okay but she, sorry (she's the cat's mother) was his entire life, entire reason for being. He cared for her, sorted everything out, drove her to many a hospital for her MS and other minor illnesses, that would never kill her....

Little did we know that CANCER would. After all the horrific things that mum had beat, losing so much along the way, mum was reduced, bit by bit, less of her survived each time another illness was discovered, less of her returned after each operation but she still fought.

Every battle. She won every single one, every mountain, the topped was reached! Always, with every fibre of her being, she'd stick a flag in and nail the sucker, all except the last.

I'm sorry to post like this here, but if I don't, I run the risk of downing lots and lots of vodka. Which is NOT what mum wanted for me.

She was proud of me, she told me, for not giving up, for not letting Nemo down, for fighting for DD, keeping her safe when I got out of my shitty relationship. For meeting my gorgeous DH, for making a better life for myself, for us all.........

I. Miss. Her. Sad

Sorry, bedtime for this wee Mouse before I have red eyes and black circles.....

Night kind Babes, and thank you Thanks

Sorry for any typos too.

Thank you Babes for all of your kindness and love. xxx

OP posts:
Original poster
Mouseface · 03/12/2013 22:58

Why - sending love and hope to you in bucket loads. Please stay strong sweetheart, please. You have come so far. You have the entire Bus behind you, strike that - beside you, holding you up xxx

OP posts:
venusandmars · 03/12/2013 23:09

mouse I wish you comfort for tomorrow and courage for all the days that follow xx

Fairenuff · 03/12/2013 23:23

Mouse I am so glad that you are sharing your feelings with us. I know how close that vodka is and how hard it is to resist at this difficult time. But you are right, that is not what your mum would want for you.

Sorry, but I had a little smile to myself - you are amazing, you little furry bundle - you are already feeling sorry for people who don't know how to express their sorrow to you.

You never, ever stop thinking of others. Even in your darkest hour, you are showing your concern for others. Your mum was right to feel proud of you.

I will be thinking of you tomorrow and I will light a candle for your mum x

beachestoexplore · 04/12/2013 00:46

faire that was an amazing post to mouse

mouse I will think of you tomorrow saying goodbye to your Mum. Sad good luck sounds so wrong but I do hope it runs smoothly and you find some comfort in each other. X

venus drinking after such an awful day, so true, excused myself that way many many times but like you say, it was rarely an awful day just a normal day after all.

rural, soc well done on your days. Smile

Im where are you? Hope you are ok babe x

Why keeping everything crossed for you. X

Spanna no snow here! not one measly flake today Grin

Hoping all other babes are safe and cared for xx

lookingforhope · 04/12/2013 08:43

Mouse thinking of you today lovely. That's all. Xxxxxxx

dementedma · 04/12/2013 09:12

London trip over and heading home today. Seriously need some af days now. Been hitting it hard with sis .
Thinking of you mouse and why

Original poster
Mouseface · 04/12/2013 09:21

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Thank you for all of your lovely posts :)

I'm thinking about food and know I need to eat..... I have to eat to take my meds so will but just wanted to check in with you all.

You're all so kind xxx

OP posts: