The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Stepping Into Christmas With Sobriety On Their Minds.

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

This is a thread for those who are worried about their drinking habits, relationships with alcohol, and/or drugs.

Even if you think your intake has gone up more today than the last or this week than last, come and join us on Gerald, the amazing, always room for more, fully stocked with glorious treats and donned in his Christmas Decorations, Bus!

We are a supportive thread, full of very different posters, from various backgrounds. Some of us drink in moderation, allowing ourselves the odd glass or two as a treat, or just because we're in control of our drinking for that day.

One Day At A Time.

We have those who abstain completely, and those who wake every day to Day 1 and hope with all of their hearts that they can, and will, make it to Day 2.

If you've followed our journey to date, you'll know who most of us are by now smile and we kind of have two 'sayings', that sum up who we are -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

That said, we will not have any bashing of support groups, such as AA or Community Addiction Support Teams, or even other support threads, posts like that will be reported if the need arises, so 'Orange Paper supporters' don't waste your time please :)

This Bus is a place for honesty, sanctuary and safety, something that has taken almost four years for a number of very special, very lovely, very honest and caring Babes to establish.

So, come find a seat, grab something warm from the supply cupboard at the back of the Bus, it's filled with (non alcoholic or narcotic) delicious, luxury treats and HUGE fluffy quilts, plus anything else you might need to help YOU get through YOUR day a minute, or an hour at a time.

And, if you'd like to see where this all began - This Is The Reason We're All Here, The Original JWN Thread

And This Is Our Previous Thread, With Links To Those Over The Past Few Years

We hope to meet you soon :) x

I understand spanna its like a vicious circle isn't it, that's why I'm so amazed at the dry November babes on here as I have not got past 9 days
I still don't know what triggers of my drinking really either I just know its I have to stop I just don't know how yet drink + him don't mix
Anyway I'm still here and when I'm free one day it will help things I use drink for so many things I guess as do others but currently its a pain killer I'm physically hurting a bit so it will help me sleep
Sorry that turned into a ramble

X post nuff
Thankyou honey I will have a read
Progress fells very slow, I know I have learnt from being here though and I can do some AF days.

I guess this is why our ticket never let's us leave the bus

Yeah, just keep posting Im, keep trying. Every time the sun rises it's a new opportunity. It doesn't matter how slow the progress is, as long as you see/feel some change. However small. As long as you stay with us, you'll be fine x

Hello babes and thanks for the 'well dones' .

Im I am not really sure how I am now at the end of a sober month, a few months back just one day was an overwhelming thought. For me, part of the motivation is fear. Fear that as soon as I have another drink I will be back on the daily hamster wheel. Fear that I won't be able to do that first day/few days again.

You have changed since your first posts, you have done 9 days in a row, you have af days and when you are drinking it is not huge amounts. This is all amazing. The fact that, despite having a shed load of stress and little support, you have still reduced your drinking. Babe you are brilliant and you will definitely get your sober month.

Hi spanna, Faire, soc hope, Ma, pink, Venus, isinde and all other babes.

rural. Did you say babysitting for 6 hope you survived!

evening babes

Just checking in. I haven't been to my meetings for a little while due to work being insane and the ww is getting much louder. I still confuse being tired and hungry with wanting a drink- I'm knackered all the bloody time.
But I am going to get through christmas sober try not to crack because it will be followed immediately after by dry january where all the drinking pressure will be off.

Too knackered to manage a nc but welcome to the new babe who had the office party story. I can sympathise with the vomming - don't worry use it as an experience to help you to cut down or stop.

Well done to all babes trying their hardest, christmas is the hardest time of the year to stop.

And I agree with the poster earlier: faire is awesome [tchsmile]

Hmm I like that nuff thank you for reassuring me as I seem to think if I fail then fuck it, it's all over I carnt do it but you've helped changed my thoughts [tchsmile]

beaches I feel like that when I have a week off, that I'm scared to start again as its hard to do the first few days, a year ago I was physically scared of not drinking now that was horrible so progres is there x
If only alcohol wasn't on our shelfs sigh... That would solve a lot when you think about it x
Night brave babes x

Hi babes congrats to all the WW kickers, faire beaches pink you are amazing.
soc well done on drinking water, awesome.
Welcome salad you will find lots of support here, stick with us.
Im you are doing brilliantly
Survived the babysitting and the 6 little darlings did too. Close call for two of them one who was calling me very loudly at 2.30am because she was lonely and wanted someone to talk to and another who woke me up demanding breakfast at 4.30am.. TBH it did help me through day 1 as too busy to drink. Helped with day2 today as too tired to be bothered to go out and buy any. So I should thank the little darlings for my 2 af days.

sheeesh... 6 children! The horror! You are made of stern stuff rural,wow! I hope they all played quietly or watched TV all day.
Well done for staying off the sauce.

Night all, see you tomorrow xxx

mouse how are you? xx

Day 4 here. That desperate urge starts to lift. Now I just need to deal with the mind games. I'm going to write about why I don't want to drink and what happens when I do and how quickly I sink into that pit of drinking and refer back to it all the time.

That and annoy all the babes on the bus.
xx

Concerning news about DS (potential behavioral strangeness). I'm certain its a phase. He has been screaming at different times for attention. I'm not there to see it, because when he is with me he has 100% of my attention 100% of the time.

Crushing guilt and concern. I'm in court all week and my MIL is refusing to bring my DS to visitations as my DH is away on business. This week could either go very well or be a disaster for me.

I'm on the cusp of something, and I don't know what it is. Day 82 sober.

mouse sending you lots of comfort today. Hope all goes well. No day is long enough to do justice to your Mum and all she meant to you but today is a chance to express your love, and your sadness. Let other people help and support you today xxx

Mouse Sending you love and hugs. Venus said it all.
Much love xxxx

Morning babes. Lying in bed feeling sick about getting up to go to work . I did drink about 3/4 bottle wine, feel annoyed with myself (should listen to you Spanna ) but work is so awful I start to feel panicky on Sundays. Oh well, no more booze till at least Friday now. Am speaking to union again today. Not sure what good it will do.

Love to mouse today. Is it the funeral? Sorry, may have missed a post - I found my mum's funeral comforting, it was nice being with all the people who loved and remembered her. Sending you hugs.

Have a good Monday all other babes.

Thinking of you today mouse, carry us with you, in your pocket, like you have been there for so many others x

Why it's horrible that your MIL is being so difficult about your ds and that he is possibly reacting to that but you have to focus on keeping yourself on the ball this week. Get as much rest as you can, try to eat well and look after yourself. Hopefully, things will change for the better this week. Keep holding it together, we are all with you spirit, supporting you, helping you, thinking of you x

Mouse Wishing you strength for today and all my love sweetheart.

Hi all babes, sorry not been around much, lots going on at home and work, flying about all over the place, certainly not being very inspiring so am being a bit quiet at the mo.

For all those Brave Babes recently bereaved.

When Great Trees Fall
Maya Angelou

When great trees fall,
rocks on distant hills shudder,
lions hunker down
in tall grasses,
and even elephants
lumber after safety.

When great trees fall
in forests,
small things recoil into silence,
their senses
eroded beyond fear.

When great souls die,
the air around us becomes
light, rare, sterile.
We breathe, briefly.
Our eyes, briefly,
see with
a hurtful clarity.
Our memory, suddenly sharpened,
examines,
gnaws on kind words
unsaid,
promised walks
never taken.

Great souls die and
our reality, bound to
them, takes leave of us.
Our souls,
dependent upon their
nurture,
now shrink, wizened.
Our minds, formed
and informed by their
radiance,
fall away.
We are not so much maddened
as reduced to the unutterable ignorance
of dark, cold
caves.

And when great souls die,
after a period peace blooms,
slowly and always
irregularly. Spaces fill
with a kind of
soothing electric vibration.
Our senses, restored, never
to be the same, whisper to us.
They existed. They existed.
We can be. Be and be
better. For they existed.

Oh you wonderful Babes, the funeral is on Wednesday.

Today I had to write a piece, some words, feelings and thoughts about my mum...... I'm so sorry if I posted that the funeral was today

I will take all of those kind posts and poems forward with me if I may? I'm so sorry for any confusion caused. It's been a very strange day today, reading about my feelings towards my mum, reading how much I have actually taken from her, am like her.....

I miss her more than I thought I ever would. I know that my loved ones are mortal, we're all mortal but your parents are immortal aren't they?

They'll never leave you, not at this age, not now.... they're supposed to see all of their children grow, marry, have children, or whatever their chosen path may be. They are supposed to grow older with you, aren't they?

They're supposed to grow older and retire, potter, go on day trips on coaches, get dentures, hearing aids, wear cardigans in the height of summer and embarrass you by repeating things you hadn't thought they'd heard....

Not die. Not so soon.... not before they have seen more, felt more, held more babies, grandchildren, great grandchildren....

It's not right. It's just not. RIGHT.

Beautiful words from beautiful babes, my thoughts are with mouse tonight xxx sending affection to all you wonderful, supportive babes tonight xx

It matters not when the funeral is mouse. People just want to send love and support you.

Thinking of you lovely mouse

Thank you all xxx

why thank you for that amazing poem. It gives me goosebumps. I will store it with my favourites. If I can find the courage, I would read it at mums funeral when that happens