Would you throw away a 10+ year friendship if your friend called your child the R-word?

[EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin]

Might cause offence, sorry.

Last night, I uploaded a daft video of my 5yo singing the Fox Song. She absolutely loves the song, and i wanted to share it with my friends and family.

She has HFA and speech/language difficulties. So many of the words weren't clear, she was looking at the side instead of at me/the camera, sounded very monotone (except for the ringdingdingdingdingdering part), was flapping her hands throughout etc.

Anyway, i'm under no false illusions that it was fantastic. It was just a 5yo girl having a sing song.

One of my friends was out at the pub at the time i posted it. She has no kids, nor do the others in my circle of friends, so i doubt this will 'out me'. She commented on it with this (i've fixed the spelling, because it was all text speak which would take me forever to type out):

"Fucking hell. What is this all about? She sounds even more retarded than usual lol (i hate that 'word' almost as much as the R one!). Get this taken down before Facebook remove it for child abuse reasons haha. Check her wee hands out. She's looks like she's going to fly back to Mars any second. Only kidding. But seriously has she been down the pub tonight? She sounds pished! haha!"

I didn't notice the comment for several hours. So it was up there most of the evening. I feel mortified. Lots of other people commented saying she had gone too far etc, but she never replied again. I removed it as soon as i saw it.

Anyway, she phoned me this morning to apologise. She said she was very drunk and it was supposed to be a joke. She said that i should know how much she loves my dd and that i'm seriously over reacting. And DD will be heartbroken if i stop them seeing each other etc.

Basically, i felt like the whole time she was apologising out of duty (not out of guilt) and was making out how much i was over reacting.

We've been good friends since school. We don't get to socialise much nowadays, however, due to me being the only one in the group with a child. But i text her every few days, and call 1-2 times a week for a chat.

I just don't know how to deal with this. I almost feel betrayed. I despise that word. And her whole comment was just vile.

If you were in my shoes, what would you do? She's keeps texting me stupid things like 'Hellllooooo, are you receiving me?' She's fairly immature tbh most of the time, but i think she's still drunk as well.

Yes. Absolutely. You don't need a bitch like that in your life (or your daughter's)

Unlike most of you, this wouldn't bother me unduly.
I tend to shrug off things like that and come out of it feeling I have the upper hand as your friend will feel embarrassed when she next meets you.

But then I'm a thick skinned bastard with little feeling, who tends to go by the 'sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt me' motto, so you might as well ignore me.

It's a shame you deleted her post. A post like that should be shared as far and wide as possible, so that everybody knows what a nasty little turd this 'friend' of yours is. Anyway, print this thread off and pop it in a Xmas card for her, with the message "Hoping you get everything you deserve this Xmas".

I think her comment on fb was nasty and inappropriate, but if she had been sorry about it the next day and appalled at her own behaviour, then I'd probably let it go. The text she sent you would however have been the last straw for me. I wouldn't bother with her again.

Wow, what a nasty piece of work. Those comments really upset me, heaven knows what they did to you OP.

If I was you I wouldn't want to associate with someone who had been so cruel about my daughter (who sounds lovely btw).

I could never forgive anyone who insulted my child in such a cruel and public way. She mocked a five year old. Who the hell does that? There's no excuse or mitigation.

I would be polite, civil but distant.

She understands nothing about motherhood if she thinks your loyalty to her comes before your loyalty to your DD.

I'm struggling to deal with a friend who unnecessarily told off my DD and frightened her. So no, you're absolutely right to cut this person from your life.

If she makes a genuine apology then maybe you can move on. But she'd have to show a considerable change in behaviour.

I've been falling down drunk many many times but at no time have I ever been drunk enough to even think something like that, never mind write it, never mind write it IN PUBLIC.

Admittedly I'm a happy and affectionate drunk who would be more likely to write "Aww bless her she's so gorgeous I love her so much xxxxxxxxx".

This woman is a bitch and if she'd written this about my Aspie son I'd never, ever speak to her again.

I would be RAGING and what's more I'd make it my mission to make as many people aware of her bitchery as possible.

I'd forgive but not forget I think. I wouldn't have a showdown or anything but I'd create a bit of distance certainly.

I think I would tell her that she has gone too far and needs to sort out her issues, but in a way that leaves the door open if she does sort herself out

I would throw away her "friendship" in a heartbeat. She is no friend of yours OP, and needs to grow up and fuck the fuck off out of your life.

shes a cunt and im so sad/furious on your behalf

Nope. No excuse. Vile comments. Absolutely unforgivable.
For me there'd be no way back from this.

I bloody well would. The alcohol is no excuse - it's revealed her for the immature twat she is.

Do you have children with disabilities, Greenshadow?

She may be a sad and pathetic drunk, but she ridiculed your daughter in a nasty way online. There is no excuse.

Instead of being mortified at what she has said, she is turning it around on you.

Can you imagine if your daughter was 14, and you, or her posted a silly video and your friend posted in this manner and your dd could see it?

You are doing the right thing, blocking her from your life.

I've never hit anyone in my life, but yes, I'd be ending this friendship, right after I'd smacked the bitch in the mouth.

How dare she make it all about her? That is so horrible. She has shown her true colours and you are absolutely right to stand firm and protect your DD. Fuck your ex-'friend'.

Well done for getting rid of her.
regardless of whether she was pissed, her mums recent death blah blah fecking blah - she called your child a retard she doesn't deserve your forgiveness nor your respect.
Actually for me - anyone who uses that word, no matter who/what it's aimed at deserves zero respect.

Sooooo she phoned you to tell you you were overreacting? Sounds like a pretty shitty, non apology to me.
If she'd phoned to say how sorry she was and that she hoped you would be able to forgive her, fair enough (I'd still cut her out though). But saying you should know how much she loves your DD and that you're overreacting? I doubt she'd have apologised at all if other people hadn't called her out on it.

She sounds like an arsehole.

Oops, should've read the whole thread FFS, what an awful woman! Well done for cutting her out.

Its the "Sounds more retarded than usual" gets me, suggests that she obviously in some part of her mind things OP's DD is "Retarded"

Good God. am speechless at the audacity and ignorance of the woman. jog her on and waste no time on her

OP, no one on this thread (with the exemption if one poster) thinks you are overreacting.

I feel hurt, upset and angry on your behalf for your little girl.

I also have a child with SN but FFS, her comments were unbelievably cruel and ignorant.

She's your friend? What does she say about people she likes?

Drink is no excuse at all. People say what they think without the usual social filter when pissed.