Whatnext074 - thread continued

[Whatnext074]

I would firstly like to thank everyone who has offered me support, even those who did so silently on my last thread 1880152-Oh-God-Just-looked-up-H-OW-on-FB-feel-sick

I don't know how to convert the link - I have ticked the box but not sure it's worked.

Thank you for all the pms since too asking how I am.

My previous thread is long so some background: Was with my H for 11 years, we were very close and although we had traumas out of our control, I never doubted that we wouldn't be together forever.

In the space of 9 months, we lost 4 babies in the family, 2 of them our own. We remained close and supported each other.

My H suddenly changed, he turned from a loving, caring man into a stranger who was verbally abusive and aggressive and scared me. He continually denied having an affair when I asked and blamed me for the way he was. I thought he was having a breakdown (I still do).

I found evidence that he was having an affair with a colleague and I told him to leave, he's still with OW. I am so heartbroken and at times, I didn't actually think I would make it to the next day. One particular night a few weeks ago, I believe MNers did save me, just to know there were people there who cared and offer advice.

I have a DS (my H is his SF) who has been so worried about me and I am trying so hard to get myself better.

I have had so many pms from MNers who have asked me to start another thread so I am. I am so utterly grateful for all the support I have been given. I am not completely out of the darkness yet but I hope I don't get as bad as I have been recently.

No you haven't.

The self centred, egotistical, prize size prick, will be texting you again.

Next Monday, I believe............

Ha - it has been every Monday. I even asked him a few weeks ago if he was bored on Mondays!

Not sure when he's back from his holiday with his mistress though - probably Monday sometime....

I dont think you have let yourself down at all - you were feisty and to the point, not your fault he's not getting the message. He's obviously worried he wont get his parcel before he goes away tough shit what a dreaful shame that is What planet is he on - does he have "harass wife" written against Monday evening on his calendar, I agree she must be "busy" Mondays.

If he transfers money say "thanks I'll put it towards...." whatever will drive him the craziest - he will soon get the message.

I did wonder how your weekend went - glad it was good.

With regard to your name - if it would make you feel better there is no reason you cant start using your old name is there?

Oooh cunning responses thought... How about just saying "right" to everything .. My DDs dad did that and it drove me up the wall! Waiting for his new wife to discover the joys of single syllable answers.

So next time he texts/emails/calls

"Did you receive a parcel?"
Silence
"It's just I need it forwarding on to my sad lonely TV-less room"
"Right"
"So, you have or haven't sent it on?"
Silence
"what are you still there?"
Got to go now, I'm expecting someone

You will be able to taste his frustration. Ah well

Arghh

I do use my maiden name for some things now, there's no need to keep my married name - after all, he keeps reminding me "we have no kids". I know - I'm the parent who visits them in the memorial garden. Cold hearted FW.

Wish I hadn't said anything as I would have felt better not replying and using his £10 towards a Shellac! He won't transfer it now that I've told him to redirect. Never mind, I'll get it through a settlement. I don't know any ExW who goes from living in a mortgaged house to a rented flat and if he thinks paying me enough rent for 2 years is enough......!

He'll start panicking again in a few weeks when the mediation date gets closer. I just want and need this to be over now. I need to heal completely.

Give yourself some time , you've had a hell of a year &

To be truthful, I personally pass straight to bitch route my favourite

"Haven't you got something better to do, like packing or getting your haircut or shaving your beard or shagging someone who isn't your wife?
Can I strongly suggest you get on with it, because boring your soon to be ex-wife just isn't fun for me"

Tad too much maybe?

X posts again. I would imagine that you won't be able to start healing until all ties are severed. So divorce is finalised, house and monies are sorted.

Hopefully it won't take too long.

Big hug to you.

Fuckwit: so, have you or have you not forwarded a parcel...

Whatnext: hang on, just looking for something. Hold on...no, can't find it to give you...

Fuckwit: what?

Whatnext: a shit. I don't give a shit. Jog on, bore off, do one...

So childish but so therapeutic. I actually felt good on your behalf just typing it!

I don't think you messed up by putting what you did. If anything he made himself look ridiculous and ending on the 'wow, ok, sorry' is good. You didn't respond- you left it with you in control.

Monday nights could be because he hasn't heard from you at the weekends and his ego is so big he's crushed you're not still phoning him crying and distraught like 'that Saturday''. His ego has taken a battering by your non contact.

mamma - swearing is the way to go - no typos!

Sadly I did end it, I said leave me alone.

Am just slightly annoyed he hasn't emailed me since my auto reply has been set up. I doubt I'll hear from him for a couple of weeks so I'll keep it on and won't reply to any texts. Think my internet shopping confirmation emails are getting a bit confused with my auto reply.

Do you think he knows your email password?

I love a good swear. Some days post break up I'd eff and jeff under my breath all day. The first time I said the c-bomb was in a sentence with my exes name in it- but my god it felt so good!!

'Leave me alone' is great. 'Leave Me alone you c*%t' would have been fabulous!!!

Ok, being thick here but when you set up an auto reply does his e mail still come through?? As in, would you still know if he's mailed you??

No way, I changed all my passwords unlike him mine are far too obscure - they mean nothing personal to me.

Yes mamma it does but he automatically gets a reply, 'contact my solicitor'. As do all my family and friends - has caused great confusion and cheers. Especially when my dear friend invited us all round for post C/mas drinks and she got that reply!

"Invent" an automated text reply (if he's not emailing you). Cut and paste it into a reply every time.

Sorry your text has not reached its intended recipient. The user may have been blocked you cant IMAGINE WHY (P.S.redirect your post!)

There is nothing to stop you copying your auto reply onto your phone and forwarding it ever time he texts.

That's an idea.

I just don't know why he won't leave me alone, I never start the contact, never.

I think you can set up standard replies so how about "im sorry it has not been possible to deliver this text, the recipient no longer gives a toss"

My Ex FW when delivering my (very late) birthday card "do you know where the silver chain I got for chrismas has gone?"

Me "No - have you checked in the spin drier?"

Him "No.....why would it be there?"

Me "dont know"

Next time he's bleating "can you hold on for a moment? I just need to get my violin"

Or post a . and say, see that, that's the worlds smallest violin just for you

OK I had a look at my phone - in messaging when I press settings I have something called "text templates" where I can set up standard replies.

I love "worlds smallest violin" its one I often use generally as a joke

Yes- text message idea is a plan!