Gay guy

[str8tothepoint]

Just posting as am really low after walking away from the guy I was having an affair with. Breaks me to walk away eventhough he admitted to me several times that he know's he's gay but has to be the straight father and be that way cos doesn't want the shit. I can understand he doesn't want the shit for his DC, I wouldn't but have all the evidence to just send to his OH to prove it but know I'll just destroy everything and have to finish myself off. I'm not a nasty person or evil and I suppose karma does exist being on the verge of a nervous breakdown and just not wanting to be alive anymore. Yes it was an affair, he called me his soulmate, the only person he could be who he truly is with, I kept him sane and from finishing his life before we got in touch. And no he hasn't messed about with lads before me I know that for sure. Just want all the memories to just be erased and want to hate him but it's killing me to not just wanting to message him. I know walking away is for the best just so much crap he fed me about him leaving when DC is older and scared I wouldn't wait around for him. Hope she's happy with him living a lie though I think she knows the truth just scared to be alone herself. He's made me question who I am so much, I thought I knew or felt comfortable being a gay lad but really I'm not so sure anymore and dunno what I am right about anymore. Just confused and need to go for good and that's a huge huge huge fear of not knowing what I'll do

IIRC OP you are still quite young? Is this your first big love affair? My first 'proper' love was very intense and I wasted about 2 years breaking up with him. Every time I backed off (he ended it) he came forwards, if I responded he backed off. Eventually I found he'd lied about something & that was it. It was over. Because I backed off he came forwards but I'd had enough, he got the message & it was all done & I had my life back again.

Next time he approaches just say no. Remind yourself you've had enough. I give you two weeks with that attitude & you'll be over it, moving on & not wasting your time with this man anymore. Try it. There's no point wasting anymore time on this. Hang on in there, move on & you'll look back & see this as a learning experience (& in many ways a valuable one - if you're anything like me).

Why to buzzard? Most people are saying the same.

What on earth makes you keep contacting this man? You keep agonising over this, plotting revenge and going back and forth.

Not sure what you want from people here. You've been given advice and support. It's not as if you have children or are financially tied to this man.

Respect yourself.

str8, why get nasty? Buzzard is trying to help.

I'm really unsure what you want people to say, all you seem to be concerned about is getting revenge and venting about this man's family.

Drama llama

Look this poor woman deserves to know exactly what her partners been up to so please tell her, so any decision she takes is with facts, not the bullshit hes been feeding her.
Then please go out and take advantage of the party season to have some fun, not sitting in pining over some lowlife thats intent on ruining 3 people's lives.

Oh, what did I miss?
Foxy, you might need to read the thread, the poor woman is well aware that her partner has been messing around. She is trying to put their lives back together but is being slagged off online by glen close here.

OP you are prolonging the hurt by contacting him. he has made it clear he does not want you, he wants his family! his wife is aware of his affair as you said she caught him. she is obviously willing to forgive him and keep her family together, as is he.

best thing for you is to leave him alone and put it down to experience. lesson learned to never get involved with a married man as they rarely leave their wives. its just sex to them at the end of the day, not the love, emotion and security they have with their family!

I am concerned that, despite many posters telling you for months, on this and your previous threads, to walk away; you are still in the same place you were in about April - threatening to be deliberately nasty to his wife.

Why are you so hung up on 'revenge' on this man by hurting even further the betrayed spouse?

Why have you been utterly unable to move on in these months?

Are you going to look at those questions?

Or are you seeking validation of your obsession? (Something which, over this amount of time, is looking ever more unhealthy).

I think the real issue here is your unstable state of mind str8 not the ins and outs or the rights and wrongs of this relationship.