is anyone interested in an alchohol-free / addiction thread?

[youretoastmildred]

My name is youretoastmildred, and I am an alcoholic.

I am 42 days alcohol free.
have been a problem drinker for a long time and have often convinced myself that moderate drinking will be fine. It never stays moderate.
In this 42 days there have been certain key people that I have not had to see. I have 2 events coming up with them that will be massive triggers and I am looking for support (and very very willing to offer what support I can to anyone else)

I have lurked on Brave Babes and it seems to be a thread of successfully moderate drinkers, and alcoholics who can't / don't actually stop. (The poster who started those threads by stopping completely isn't there: I also remember some 12 step nondrinkers from the early days who don't seem to be there any more. There are a lot of posts by people enumerating what they are having or will have and whether or not this is ok but I don't see much actual NOT DRINKING EVER which is what I need to do)

By contrast, the AA meeting that I attend, while it will always have a couple of people back after a relapse, is mostly packed with people with months and years sober.

Is anyone interested in an actual not-drinking or beating other addictions thread? I am NOT saying I am not interested in talking to those who relapse. I am saying that I DO want to talk to people who aim to stop drinking.

any takers?

Life is infinitely better for me clean and sober - it's not all rainbows and unicorns (well, no unicorns at all so far...) but I've coped with births, deaths, marriages all sober and I am so much more at peace.

oops I have a small bottle of that in the fridge and it doesn't say anything about an alcohol content on it at all?? Checked front and back label.

All cosy in front of the fire (only warm place in the house) and I KNOW I have to go for a run ..I know I'll feel great when I have but can't bear the thought of going upstairs and changing persuade me!!

get your bum into gear sippie and think of the endorphin rush and how good you'll feel after knowing you can relax says me who couldn't run the length of herself

Thanks BrokenEgg, it was years ago that I saw it on the label, when I had friend coming over who was in AA, many years before I quit so maybe it's not there anymore. I do have to be very careful, even using a wet wipe with alcohol on it to remove my make up can bring me out in rash or give me a screaming headache.

It's a shame I feel so washed out because I have certainly got that underlying feeling of adventure today. When drinking I was either hiding from the world or being grumpy & cynical, when sober the world seems full of opportunity.

Did it Still got a bloody painful calf though, so only did three quarters of what I usually do

Hi I was wondering if I can join on this thread? Today is only Day 2 AF.

I started a new job back in April and I absolutely loathe it :( I've slipped back into drinking every night and now I feel panicky if I can't drink. I hate myself really when I'm like this. I've had sober periods in the past and just like myself and my life so much better without alcohol. I'd like to get back to that place again. Not thinking about forever, just one day at a time!

I live in foreign parts and don't speak the lingo well enough to go to AA here. So internet support is worth gold.

Hi there muminboots and welcome

Im having a HARD time tonight. I really really want to drink. I catch myself thinking - one night wont hurt etc etc. I know why, we have been very busy decluttering at home. I have been washing and shopping and coking all day and I kind of feel like I DESERVE a glass bottle of white wine... DH has beers in... that would do...

I don't think I WILL drink - but I feel very close to it this evening

Look past the illusion. It's not a treat to have something that makes me miserable and ill. Have a treat of some kind - chocolate or a nice bath or something and see how ou feel tomorrow. Just don't drink today and you can think about it again in the morning.

Thanks Sorcha!

I'm here wibbling as well, so let's get through this evening together.

hello muminboots Yes, I do that 'treat' thinking - but then, as we've been saying 'watch the film to the end' .

I was doing that on my run today - watching myself having 'a drink', -drinking it really quickly, as I do, then the next,the next, the next.

The film turned a bit comedic for a while - with my hilarious and witty fb chats and statuses, but soon got very black. Someone said something I didn't like - how dare they - have another drink and tell them what you bloody well think. There, that told them.

Oh, I've remembered something that annoyed me at work about a week ago, quick get on the work e mail and tell the chairman how upset you are Mrs, have another drink first though...

Children want you...ffs, have a quick drink before you deal with them...and on it goes, until you pass out. THEN it's the next morning. And that is nasty - every time.

Sorry, don't know how to links

On my phone but look at
Theorangepapersforum.org
And write to him. He replies to all letters.

Have a nice day now.

Take care

Xx

I've just realized that I've stopped looking after myself (drinking, eating crap and not exercising) partly to "show" my husband how unhappy I am at the moment. Very mature of me Didn't work either. I'm throwing a toddler tantrum against life in general rather than actually doing something about it.

Hi all , going to watch world war z later - bought as a 'treat' instead of Wine - funny how we love not drinking but still crave drink -
Anyway, had a bath, pjs on, just got some work to do and the. On with the film :)

Goodness, it took an entire week for the anti AA poster to show up. Hello chippingnortonset. We've crossed swords before a long while ago but you won't recognise me (namechanger).

Live & let live huh!

You have a nice day now.

Haha! It did take a while didn't it ?? . I have looked through the orange papers and still make my own mined up and stay respectful to those who believe in different mehods of sobriety,

mind..

Oops. Honestly I expected the post sooner.

Welcome mumin I am also desperately unhappy with my life at present. I've used alcohol to numb the pain and to just not think about it rather than doing something about it. I need to grow up and take some action rather than just complain about it. hard when you can't see a lot of options though.

Sippie you have described me to a tee. Something winds me up, I stew on it, drink, stew some more all the while it's going round and round in my head and I'm getting more and more irritated about it. Get pissed then send a ranty barely decipherable text/post/angry phonecall.

Let me know what the movies like lonnika. I read the book and wasn't impressed but I've heard a lot of people say the movie is different from the book.

me too sippie really don't need to read a load of bile about anyone or anything.

Sounds like you are in a difficult place muminboots - maybe stoppping drinking will give you some headspace to manage the rest of it ? Hope tonight is ok xx

Had a nice dinner with dh and the children....only slightly marred by ds2 being such a teenager (at 11 ! )
its almost time for Downton and then I can go to BED... I'm reading "My name is ,.." very powerful stuff

hope everyone else is ok xxx

keep strong Sorcha and you'll be a whole two weeks tomorrow :)

x-post. Very good book. I cried a bit at the end

Evening all

You know when you have a little reminder of your old behaviour...

I saw this lady today in a local shop, all made up and nice clothes. Sunday Times, milk, etc. oh and a litre of vodka. Could hardly put her bank card in the machine .... But still took the care to hide the vodka under the Times in her shopping bag.

Appearances, I remember trying to do that....

Myfriendbill, that's really sad. I've done similar to that lady in the past. I even had my kids with me. The shame.

Feeling a bit calmer tonight. The weekend is drawing to a close and I survived!

I have been out for lunch with the family and bought new winter coats for the boys.
Was nice for once to not be wanting to rush through it all to get home and get quietly smashed.

Hum. It was very poignant indeed.

It's great to get things done - I.e getting winter coats etc. Having food in. Fresh beds. The normality!

X

I have been that woman too. I would never just buy vodka, I always bought other things like bread & milk then pick up a bottle as if it were an afterthought or a whim. I would casually throw my newspaper over the vodka in my basket or on the conveyor belt too. I suspect other alkies would have spotted what I was doing (I've certainly seen other people doing similar things) but to the untrained eye it would have seemed innocuous.

I would keep old Pepsi bottles in the car to transfer the vodka to then chuck the empty in the recycling bin at the supermarket so didn't have to get rid of bottles later, devious drunk that I was. I reckon I know just about every trick in the book, it was exhausting!