is anyone interested in an alchohol-free / addiction thread?

[youretoastmildred]

My name is youretoastmildred, and I am an alcoholic.

I am 42 days alcohol free.
have been a problem drinker for a long time and have often convinced myself that moderate drinking will be fine. It never stays moderate.
In this 42 days there have been certain key people that I have not had to see. I have 2 events coming up with them that will be massive triggers and I am looking for support (and very very willing to offer what support I can to anyone else)

I have lurked on Brave Babes and it seems to be a thread of successfully moderate drinkers, and alcoholics who can't / don't actually stop. (The poster who started those threads by stopping completely isn't there: I also remember some 12 step nondrinkers from the early days who don't seem to be there any more. There are a lot of posts by people enumerating what they are having or will have and whether or not this is ok but I don't see much actual NOT DRINKING EVER which is what I need to do)

By contrast, the AA meeting that I attend, while it will always have a couple of people back after a relapse, is mostly packed with people with months and years sober.

Is anyone interested in an actual not-drinking or beating other addictions thread? I am NOT saying I am not interested in talking to those who relapse. I am saying that I DO want to talk to people who aim to stop drinking.

any takers?

Hi bumpop. Hope you're ok and having a good night tonight?

Good night to all the rest of you brilliant dry women

Welcome bumhop.

Off to bed now. Talk tomorrow. Goodnight all. Xx

Ps). Do we have an official name yet?

Bumpop. Sorry.

Good morning everyone

I have woken with a stonking headache - which seems very very unfair.

My thought for today is that there are many people here and elsewhere who have stopped drinking for good. Not one of them has ever said that life is shit now, or not fun or that they wish they were still drinking. So Im going to keep going,,,,

Wine o'clock for me was 5pm, it lifted my spirits and was a sort of reward for getting through the day (undeserved as I don't have a stressful life).
So that's 3 sober 5pms so far, best I've done in years to be honest.

Perhaps having two threads running is useful - if I have a lapse I can move to BB thread with plans to return here when ready. I think I will find it hard to not drink anything over Xmas.

Its interesting about the 2 threads. Both are fine by me!

The key thing is the desire to stop drinking. In my last 2 AA meetings there have been 2 separate relapsers. One after one month sobriety. One after 3 years.

The don't get thrown out! They get shown support and love.

X

I agree Bill - and so does Mildred ; its not about 'throwing people out' if they lapse, its also not about patting someone on the back and saying "there there that's fine, you have a few drinks if you need ". but it iS about supporting people to stay sober.

Hello all, another 'friend of bill' here, hope you've all had a good weekend. I don't want to engage in any controversy but as far as I understood it there was no hint that those who relapse weren't welcome here just that the aim was for abstinence rather than 'controlled' drinking (nearly killed me my attempts at that!). My relapses taught me valuable lessons, as long as I was willing to look at them honestly and identify what I needed to change.

Had a good weekend here, thus far. The usual family chaos but it's a lot easier to cope with without a hangover and that creeping sense of impending doom I used to live with!

I don't really drink any fancy cordials and stuff, just fizzy water and coffee and tea. If I really want a treat I might have a sprite or a 7 up - otherwise it just feels like pointless sugary calories for me - I'd much rather eat chocolate! When I first got sober I drank lots of sugary drinks though - I was having 4 sugars in coffee at one point!!! It seemed to help.

I'm extremely vigilant about alcohol, to the point that I don't ever eat any food with alcohol in it or drink out of wine glasses. Some people would probably find that a bit OTT but I see it as a poison that nearly killed me - and psychologically being so vigilant is part of not forgetting that. I even have alcohol free vanilla extract for baking :)

Happy hangover-free Sunday to all - a day to relax and get ready for the week ahead instead of a day of sickness/drunkness and a desperate attempt to scrape things together before another week of then same old shit, which is what Sundays used to be.

Love x

Good morning! I am in such a bad mood! Our heating is still broken (of course) and I am freeeeeeezing! I am seriously going to get angry with EON about this. Why do we pay for insurance if it takes four days to sort it out? DH and the children are quite happy with it but I'm not . Apart from that{grin] I feel very well indeed. Day 13 here.
myfriendbill I wish I had found some nice AA meetings like that - the ones I went to ('run' by the same characters) were hateful to those who relapsed. Told me to stop taking my anti depressants, because I didn't need them and generally caused me a lot of grief - leading to my drinking again! However, I'm not AA bashing as I can see so many people have such good experiences. I wish there were more here, they all seem to be taken over by the same group of people. Soooo, I am doing it with this support, books and self will now!
Today I will be moaning about the heating, staying in bed for a bit loner and ironing!! have a good one all

Hi Enid - going out for a walk now - :). love this kind of Sunday.

I also understood this thread to be for people aiming for total abstinence as opposed to controlled drinking but that no one would be cast out in disgrace for relapsing.
A few of us (me included) already have but my goal is still the same. I have no interest in moderate drinking. Can't see the point in it because I realise I do have a quite serious drink problem.
I need support to stay 100% stopped. Sometimes support comes I the form of straight talking and not soft soaping the truth.

OH still lolling over the sofa nursing his cold/hangover.

Washing machine has died and OH is too ill look at it. Brilliant.

Have decided to enjoy today regardless. Going to read the papers, make a nice meal for us all, help the boys with their homework then get out for a long walk in the sunshine.
Will tackle the housework tomorrow.

Sorry about your heating Sippie. It's awful being cold.

Mrssippie
That is a great shame. AD's are fine, and should be taken. There is no need to remove them, and indeed round here you are encouraged to take them if prescribed/seek medical help for detox etc etc.

One member of my group has been in and out of AA for 27 years. Has finally achieved 7 years continuous sobriety.

I've even seen people drunk at meetings. They too don't get thrown out, unless they are disruptive.

In my mind I also remind myself alcohol is a depressant, barbiturate, anaesthetic and poison.

That certainly helps me!

In my mind I also remind myself alcohol is a depressant, barbiturate, anaesthetic and poison

I look in the mirror at the spidery red veins on my face - that certainly helps me!!!

I hope no-one minds but I just posted on the bb thread saying that we want the same thing and had not meant any criticism of them at all :( It's all silly and upsetting me still.

Morning everyone.

Enid that question was playing on my mind as I do cook with alcohol and I know that it isn't all burnt off while cooking. Do you use anything else instead of say wine in your recipes? I cook a lot and do think that it adds flavour but it's more a case of I don't want to start buying alcohol and I know it would be too tempting to have the rest left in the house.

Is your heating getting fixed tomorrow sippie?

Day 12 here. House is a tip and I've about two hours to clean it and can't get motivated at all.

hopefully - 'between 13:00 and 20:00 hours' Lucky DH off shift tomorrow so can be here.

I just use stock brokeneggshells I also cook loads and used to always cook with wine in bolognese etc for the taste - and also so I had a good reason to crack a bottle open earlier in the day! I don't miss it - I think why would I want my food to taste of something that pretty much destroyed my life?! I 'thought' I missed it at first but I don't now, it was just another association I had to break. When I stopped I had to change so many things as I had shoehorned alcohol into every area of my life - I drank at the hairdressers so I changed hairdressers, I drank when I cooked and put it in my food so the first few times I didn't it seemed odd, I stopped for drinks when I went shopping so having a coffee instead was strange at first, I drank on trains so the first few train journeys were weird and anxious. After a while though it became my new normal and living totally alcohol free feels natural to me. But that took lots of strange 'firsts' (and seconds and thirds etc) before it happened.

Obviously some dishes are off the menu - I used to love tiramisu (probably because it's so boozy to be fair!) and it is one thing I kind of miss but it's not worth dying for!!!

Thanks enid. I know you can buy mini bottles of wine but strangely I don't want to be putting myself into a situation where I'm buying any booze at all, no matter how little. Especially as wine was my drug of choice. In fact I like to avoid the alcohol aisle full stop.

I hate when they won't give you a specific time sippie

Hello

Just popping in to say how much I liked this from Sorcha:

'My thought for today is that there are many people here and elsewhere who have stopped drinking for good. Not one of them has ever said that life is shit now, or not fun or that they wish they were still drinking. So Im going to keep going,,,,'

As it happens my life is not great at the moment. But I know - absolutely and indisputably - that a drink would not make that better. Life is what it is, and usually it is pretty good, but today it happens to be a bit shit. I am learning how to deal with that without drinking, and just knowing that makes me feel better :D. And it would be so much shittier if I was pissed or hungover.

It does take work, though. And that can be hard. But that's where support comes in.

Hello people

I'm having a lovely sober weekend. I wish I could say I have a clear head but I have a stinking cold which is making me fuzzy round the edges and the only alcohol free cough stuff I had in the house last night was pholcodeine linctus so that rounded off the edges I don't have any kind of 'problem' with opiates though so I'm not going to feel bad about taking it, I much prefer being clear headed and full of energy.

One thing about having a cold is that I haven't had a single urge to have a drink all weekend which is nice, only my second weekend sober since my relapse (which lasted two months, on and off) and historically I would have been climbing the walls somewhat.

Does anyone know about Fentimans Ginger Beer? I love that stuff but I noticed a while back that it says something on the bottle like 'no more than .4% alcohol', or something like that and as I take antabuse I haven't risked it. Is the % a disclaimer? - I guess I'll have to try it sometime to see if I can tolerate it on the meds. It has never ever had any kind of alcoholic effect on me when I've drank it in the past. I don't normally replace alcohol with other 'special' drinks because that tends to give me a feeling of something missing and I'd rather have a cup of tea but I can't drink caffeine after 8pm and I'm getting a bit fed up of mint tea.

I've spent a lot of time cooking in the last couple of days, this happens every time I'm sober - no idea what that's about and it's amazing that I'm not the size of a house

Life is infinitely better sober, I also had the feeling of being a boring old fart when I stopped earlier in the year but it passed quite quickly - I think the key for me was not to avoid social situations altogether. I surprised myself by having plenty to talk about despite being sober. The added bonus is remembering exactly what you said too, and not feeling embarrassed that you said something out of turn because the alcohol opened your gob for you when it probably should have stayed shut

Of course when you're sober you're more likely to be doing things that are nice to talk about too - simple pastimes like going for a walk or meeting someone new. Life is an adventure, let's enjoy it!

I definitely wouldn't risk it on Antabuse although in fact I wouldn't risk it not on it personally but I know I take quite a hard line on that kind if stuff. I'd just look for something else gingery that was definitely alcohol free. Do belvoir not do a nice gingery fizz?