is anyone interested in an alchohol-free / addiction thread?

[youretoastmildred]

My name is youretoastmildred, and I am an alcoholic.

I am 42 days alcohol free.
have been a problem drinker for a long time and have often convinced myself that moderate drinking will be fine. It never stays moderate.
In this 42 days there have been certain key people that I have not had to see. I have 2 events coming up with them that will be massive triggers and I am looking for support (and very very willing to offer what support I can to anyone else)

I have lurked on Brave Babes and it seems to be a thread of successfully moderate drinkers, and alcoholics who can't / don't actually stop. (The poster who started those threads by stopping completely isn't there: I also remember some 12 step nondrinkers from the early days who don't seem to be there any more. There are a lot of posts by people enumerating what they are having or will have and whether or not this is ok but I don't see much actual NOT DRINKING EVER which is what I need to do)

By contrast, the AA meeting that I attend, while it will always have a couple of people back after a relapse, is mostly packed with people with months and years sober.

Is anyone interested in an actual not-drinking or beating other addictions thread? I am NOT saying I am not interested in talking to those who relapse. I am saying that I DO want to talk to people who aim to stop drinking.

any takers?

Hmm I was thinking the same louiseaa and mildred that I've had similar symptoms throughout my life. I've suffered on and off with depression and anxiety and know it's played a part in my drinking, despite being on pills and receiving cbt for the anxiety.

Mildred and Hum, I feel like that frequently. In fact for the last six months I've been under a fog feeling like life is just one big chore. I imagined being a grown up would be fun but it it's just a matter of meeting everyone else's demands and things that need done while your needs and wants get pushed to the side-lines. I hate being a SAHM to be frank. I find it boring and tedious and I can't help but feel a tiny bit resentful that dads get out to work, the gym and lead their own lives. Yet another reason why I drink a lot.

Sigh. Now I've to go to supermarket while my inner child is throwing a tantrum. Would love to get a bottle of booze, turn the heating on and hide in the house the rest of the day.

Mildred; Hum and Egg

ME TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I am exhausted ALL the time. I do gt out to work t its draining and I feel constantly that I am neither a good parent not good enough at my job...Its nonstop drudgery. I think I drank to alleviate stress, to avoid facing harsh realities and to create a temporary oblivion...

Can I add... me as well! I'm a SAHM at the moment, and whilst I love being at home with the DCs in many ways, I do miss a career, something for 'me' . I constantly feel exhausted. I certainly don't feel nearly 30, feel ancient!

Hope everyone is ok? Didn't check in last night as DP and I don't tend to go on the laptops/phones on weekend nights if we're in. Last night in was hard initially, but then was ok. Had real wine craving come 6pm and DCs were getting ready for bed. Normally i'd start necking a load at this time as a 'reward' for making it through the week. Instead, got DP to bring a bottle of diet coke back with a pizza from Sainsburys, then had cups of tea for the rest of the evening with a shit load of chocolate!

Staying in again tonight (unusual for us to spend both nights in on a weekend), but glad and actually not craving a drink for once as so bloody tired. DD woke at 1.30am, refused to settle in her cot so brought her into bed with us, and she is the WORST co-sleeper in the world, so wriggly and at one point tried to curl up like a cat and fall asleep on my head, so was awake every half hour or so throughout the night. I reckon she might have actually done me a favour though, as i'll be so tired come this evening, that i'll just want to get into bed to watch the Sat night telly! Praying no wine craving hits come teatime....

Hum big un-MN hugs. I think it will take time to 'feel' eveything again. I'm the same and had this Thursday night when DP was out. Felt so flat, and like i'd never enjoy anything again.

Forgot to say, i'm on Day 9 now- I can't believe it. Haven't gone without a drink for this long prob since DD was a tiny baby. If I can get through this weekend it will be two weekends on the trot, a big deal for me!

Day 9 is great. Managed a month last year then stupidly chucked it all away because I didn't really have a problem.

Yeah, right.
My youngest son is jumping off the walls and really getting on OH's nerves. He is suffering with some sort of cold and a hangover.
I have taken DS for a long walk in the rain to jump in puddles and burn off some surplus energy but it's been pissing it down all day.
I'm tired. I want to slope off on my own to read or even have a nap.
Just not possible with kids is it?

OH has the man cold and hangover, not DC2.

For me that's one of the problems olive... Its NOT possible to get a break - slope off, read in peace, go to bed etc etc.

I sometimes wonder if drinking so much was my way of creating a 'space' in my head where I could escape from the kids...

Def one of the biggest shocks of having kids I find- lack of personal space. I love them to bits, but find the constant toddler demands very draining and claustrophobic. Weird, because I actually like this phase in terms of them discovering new things, that everything in the world is exciting to them. I had issues drinking pre-dc, and whilst i've been better in a way since having them, drinking in the evenings was always my release. Always seems ok if you're in and just have a bottle or two on the sofa right?!

I'm loving being sober right now though. I just think how tired i'd be today if i'd have drank as usual last night.

I am worried Hum that I too will reach a month or so, feel great and think "oh well, i've managed this, so it will be fine to have a night on the booze". I would be wrong! This time will be my danger zone.

Drinking was certainly my me time. It is hard with smallies - mine are at secondary school and much more independent now - and I really notice the difference. I'm feeling tired today too - I wonder if it's the weather?

I cycle to work religiously these days as it's the only exercise I get. When the boys were younger we had to go out every day - otherwise they became really difficult to manage - and that was my blowing away the cobwebs strategy for then, now it's the cycling. It's hard work - even now- putting my sobriety first but I have to remember if I don't have that I have nothing else.

It's my usual AA meeting tonight and I can feel myself making excuses not to go - that means that I should go.

When they were smaller I found that I really resented the fact that I had children hanging off me all the time - when hubby came in from work and wanted a cuddle I used to think oh no - not you too. I felt all touched out, however the kids used to leave me alone when I'd had a drink. There must have been other more healthy ways of achieving this but sadly at the time I didn't have any other way.

Still the one thing you can say is that with kids they grow and change and it will all be different again in a couple of months/years

Hello everyone,

We're just posting as we understand a few posters have concerns about how the two sobriety thread in Relationships, this thread and the Brave Babes threads, are going to co-exist.

While we do absolutely recognise that posters are entitled to express their own personal viewpoints and relate their own experiences on the BB threads, we'd really like posters here to also remember that the BB threads have been an enormous source of support to many posters, and it would be a real shame if any new posters were put off from posting there after reading posts implying that it's unsupportive. (Of course, it's completely fine to say that complete abstinence is the aim of this thread, and that this is what you think differentiates it from the BB threads.)

We're not implying that anyone on this thread has been posting in an inappropriate way, we're just saying that we'd be v grateful if they could run the rule over posts before posting and have a think about whether what they're saying could be interpreted as mean or hyper-critical.

Ultimately we think both threads can be great sources of support and we'd really like them to live side-by-side in a mutually supportive way

Good afternoon!! I have had a pretty good morning - apart from being FREEZING COLD DD2 and I went to a friends house then onto dd1's new flat. DD1 has had a rough few months - her long term boyfriend, who she had been with for years and with whom she was buying a house, settling down etc, suddenly announced they were finished. She moved out, found a new flat and generally life moved at a 100 miles an hour for her for a while. She's ok but it was all pretty unpleasant. She is very special to me as she was the one I pt through so much horribleness when I was at the worst of my drinking and she has turned out so well. I'm very proud of her and it was awful to see her so upset. However, she has now started a very tentative relationship with someone she has known for a long time and seems very happy. her flat is lovely and she is very capable (amazingly!) Just sitting in front of the fire with my stupid cat on my legs - smaller children seemed happily entertained. Thinking that a drink would be nice tonight but know it wouldn't. Going to check out the 30 things list now - thanks eggs. Hope everyone is feeling ok. Lots of ups and downs :(

What an odd message. Why can't people just stay on the thread they like best? As far as I can see, on this thread, one person has mentioned that some people on the BB thread didn't believe her story. Some of us found that distressing and said so. There's been no other implied criticism. This kind of thing makes me want to not bother

That is a very very odd message . Maybe folk from the BB thread feel threatened by another alcohol related thread ? I really can't see why. I have not seen any criticism of the BB , just some people saying It wasn't for them... someone (several someones??) must have reported us....

So why have there been 'concerns'?God, it reminds me of the shit I got from AA -'do it our way or you will fail' This is a thread about potentially saving peoples lives, why are people getting pissed off with us. Seriously I'm really angry :(

x post sorcha :(

I'm still feeling ill today - luckily now on strong antibiotics for my kidney infection (Ciprofloxacin and Metronizadol - that's the one you really can't drink with!). Dr was all "how do you know you have an infection" and "well, we don't just dish out antibiotics for nothing much" etc .... I have a history of kidney stones and pyelonephritis! In the end (this was a phone consultation - new GP hadn't bothered to check my notes to see why I couldn't walk) I cried and got dh to phone them for me - he's a GP! Funny how fast I got the prescription then!!

So this is day 3. Bit odd to be feeling crap and it's not a hangover! Dh has taken children shopping to buy winter boots (he's a total pushover so I'm pretty sure dd1 who is 13 will come home with purple DMs and dd2 (9) with fake Uggs or the like, and tolerant ds with an unsuitable play station game!).

Might make myself some toast. Clearly I know how to partee! There's dairylea in the fridge, so yes, think I'll eat toast.

me too sippie ; but kotinka is right. just concentrate on staying sober and well .

hope the antibiotics start working soon weegie x

Evening all, hope we are all feeling good today. I've been out working today so that's kept my mind busy, now I am trying to plan my evening, I think tonight will be the struggle. I feel like I need to treat myself somehow, a bath, take away and rented film should do the job. I bought some ginger beer last night, it was a great refreshing alternative to booze!

Yep definitely drinking as a form of escapism. louiseaa I was just saying today that's the one thing that really annoys me with toddlers - being used as a climbing frame and hanging off my legs all the time. I've always loved my space and alone time and find it the hardest adjustment after having kids the constant attention and noise, not to mention the mess.

Sympathises weegie kidney infections are horrid. Hope you feel better soon. Yum I love dairylea on toast.

Hi all,

Have been lurking on this thread for a while and have decided it's time to reveal myself (so to speak). I've been aware that my drinking has been a problem for a while - in fact, pretty much always. I've never had an off button, am always the drunkest person at any gathering, start worrying about whether there will be enough wine even when opening the first bottle... all the things that you've been saying.

Although my drinking isn't as bad as it has been in the past, I feel like recently I've been drinking for all the wrong reasons, and I'm not enjoying it. I've had a couple of drink-related injuries, memory loss nearly every time I drink, and last Sunday woke up with the most enormous sense of shame and paranoia after having to be put to bed the night before.

So I haven't had a drink since last Sunday. I've saved quite a few quotes and comments from here that have really resonated - reasons why I think I drink and also that sickening feeling when you wake up. I've been out for a couple of meals with people who were drinking and stuck to water, and even gone on a date. It was fine, although it was interesting how uncomfortable it makes other people.

Tonight I've been invited to a birthday night out with some old friends. They know I'm not drinking at the moment, and I'd quite like to go, but I'm not sure whether at this time it's a good idea or whether I should avoid big boozy nights. Apart from anything, drunk people when you're sober can be so boring/ annoying! Maybe I'd rather just stay in and watch a film.

Anyway. Hi.