is anyone interested in an alchohol-free / addiction thread?

[youretoastmildred]

My name is youretoastmildred, and I am an alcoholic.

I am 42 days alcohol free.
have been a problem drinker for a long time and have often convinced myself that moderate drinking will be fine. It never stays moderate.
In this 42 days there have been certain key people that I have not had to see. I have 2 events coming up with them that will be massive triggers and I am looking for support (and very very willing to offer what support I can to anyone else)

I have lurked on Brave Babes and it seems to be a thread of successfully moderate drinkers, and alcoholics who can't / don't actually stop. (The poster who started those threads by stopping completely isn't there: I also remember some 12 step nondrinkers from the early days who don't seem to be there any more. There are a lot of posts by people enumerating what they are having or will have and whether or not this is ok but I don't see much actual NOT DRINKING EVER which is what I need to do)

By contrast, the AA meeting that I attend, while it will always have a couple of people back after a relapse, is mostly packed with people with months and years sober.

Is anyone interested in an actual not-drinking or beating other addictions thread? I am NOT saying I am not interested in talking to those who relapse. I am saying that I DO want to talk to people who aim to stop drinking.

any takers?

Thanks brokeneggshells, thats such a good idea, once I'm in pjs and under the blanket nothing will shift me!

WELL DONE bishop !

fiddle re the weekend; if you plan it, think it through how you will manage - what you will drink etc it makes it a bit easier -

I'm standing cooking the dinner with mine on now

Wish I was in for the night. Got to take kids to scouts and beavers.

Also have to walk past two corner shops selling booze.
Wish OH was here. Feeling pathetic and a bit tearful.

And congratulations Bishop.

you're ok Olive. You're doing great. Just take one journey at a time. Ive got one out at a Youth club and one going to Scouts... in some ways because I have to pick up DC2 form Scouts I cant drink til after that...

Friday was my favourite time to drink - actually thinking that through thats crap - every time was a favorite time... sigh

Aw Hum, you can do it.. I have just got in from picking dd up from her school trip. It was chuckling it down and three of us mothers were sitting in our cars texting each other rather than getting out to chat! Very funny. She had a fabulous day through and I had slow cooked a pork casserale which we have all just eaten in front of the fire. Lovely . Going to have a Corrie night tonight and do some more reading. I (rather sadly) got a book out of the library called 'Running!! All you need to know!' Oh dear :( have a safe and sober evening all.

Stay determined Hum. Luckily all dc lessons and clubs are throughout the week. Unluckily means Friday was my 'always have a drink' night and feeling the pressure. I'm grumpy, dd's grumpy and I'm counting down the last two hours to bed.

Hot chocolate and a book planned myself tonight :)

Hi all. Been a busy week this week at work and at home - dh has man flu a cold and is sneezing all over the place this eve and the kids are not wanting to go out to their activities.Yesterday I had a team meal around at my place and there were a mixture of drinkers and non drinkers. I was rather surprised when one of them pulled out a half bottle of vodka - I've not encountered that before (it was my drink of shame when I got really bad) And a couple brought bottles of wine. I took the time to watch the drinkers - I've only felt comfortable observing others behaviour drinking recently, anyway isn't it amazing that people can not finish a bottle of wine. And the vodka was drunk by two people (very glad that bottle was finished!!) who didn't care that they didn't get exactly equal portions. What a lot of strange habits I've got. Anyway poured the white wine down the sink when tidying up and someone took the red home. Had a great time, plenty of shloer left in the fridge for me tonight.

On the way home I saw something that I really identified with from the bad old days - a mum in the shop with two kids. One of them was misbehaving (opened a bar of chocolate) and she didn't notice as she was entranced by choosing her wine - now I'm not making judgements on her - just recognising that behaviour - I have been sidetracked by alcohol and not paid attention to my kids in the past, thank goodness that has changed.

Anyway have a good weekend and stay sober xx

Thanks for the encouraging words. Only an hour till I pick the boys up then we can snuggle indoors for the night.
I can so identify with observing others drinking habits and realising as a result just how warped and obsessive my own are in comparison.
People who don't finish a glass of wine or a beer? What??

Not giving a toss about getting their fair share of a bottle of wine?

Normal drinkers just don't care so they?

Thought I would re-post this and add the new joiners ....

Sorcha 28.10.13
Mildred Nov 5th
MrMeanour 28.10.13
loveday 29.10.13
weegiemum 07.11.13
myfriend bill May-13
Enid Oct-10
CJCregg 2007
DaisyBD 2002
newbie05 2010
Egg 30.10.13
love me not 2007
FranTan 2005
oops 23.10.13
beeyump Jul-12
Zoo Jun-12
venuslong term
stinkingbishop Aug-13
brickor Jun-05
humolive 08.11.13
justlikeheaven midoct13
lonnika 28.10.13
trin Aug-12
jellytots Jan-06
Louisa Oct-11
isindemid oct 13
guggenheimJ an-13
Pinot 01.11 13
glowingembers Nov-10
icebergend sept 13
Leviticus Nov 3rd
fiddlemethis Nov 4th
foofoo mid September 2013
lola - June 2013 ?
dozy Nov 7th

Hope I have everyone ??

Some incredible stories on here. Zoo, wow, just wow. You are an inspiration. So sorry about your child. Can't imagine how that must be.

Love the sobriety date list. Can i be added? Feb 26th 2011.

Am having a bit of a rough time with it right now. Thinking about it a lot, and finding AA not really doing it for me. The thought 'you aren't the boss of me', and 'you aren't my mother' re my sponsor creeping in, and I can't face phoning her. I need a new sponsor I think- she's been lovely, but time for a change.

Am a compulsive runner- so knowing I have to get up in the morning to run does help. Also stops me getting too fat on the vast quantities of chocolate i consume. My son said the other day 'Mum, you have NO BOUNDARIES when it comes to chocolate'. Ho hum. At least he didn't say that about vodka, right? I would have been so ashamed had he said that, and he would have been quite right, that's the scary thing.

So, I will try and keep within my boundaries, and am working on 'thinking through the drink', or watching the movie to the end.

I didn't expect to get hit this hard with booze on my shoulder after a decent chunk of sobriety. It's improved before, and I know it will again, it's just a bit rough right now as my brain won't bloody shut up about the stuff.

Hi Newbie Am a compulsive (well nearly!) runner too and it really works doesn't it?? Initially it made me be very aware of not starting to smoke again (4 months now) and now it is so helpful with my sobriety. feel it so much much more after a run. I am a pathetic runner really, haven't done more than 4K yet but have only been doing it since June so am quite content so far !!

Urgh I'm ill, got a uti/kidney infection. Along with my chronic neuro problems, this means I'm very wobbly on my feet today. Which is a good thing - can't go out.

Thanks to those who've asked about church. We go to a lovely little baptist church, about 25-30 members though more come,
half of whom are ex-asylum seekers from French-speaking Africa. I "preached" last week but it wasn't awful or scary, just sharing thoughts with good friends. In a very roundabout way I ended up talking about the start of chapter 14 in johns gospel, which reads "do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid" - preaching mainly to myself.

The pastor and his wife know about my problems, Helen is a very dear friend, it's amazing how well she knows me - so many times I've been pouring the first drink when she calls to check on me! I feel supported but never judged, just very much loved.

So I've reset the clock. I'm weegie, I'm an alcoholic and this is my 2nd dry day.

Newbie - Hi - I have you on the thread, but with the wrong date - I will amend the next time I post it - that ok? your sober time is impressive - that's coming up THREE years !! ... and re chocolate - you are so right - its better than vodka !!

weegie I have yearned all my life of that loving acceptance. I am constantly judged and critisised by my mother; I think this has had a profound effect on my whole life. You have done really well to pick your self up and start again :-)

My mum can't love me - at the wedding last week she blanked me out.

I'm very blessed and loved in church. They know I have issues but love me anyway!

Sorcha thank you for redoing the list. Really appreciate it.
Kids in bed and asleep.

Finding sobriety quite exhausting so will be following them up.
Hope DH doesn't wake us all up with his drunken antics.

Goodnight all. Thank you for the ongoing support. It means a lot to have this thread.

where's the 30 things list someone mentioned? been scrolling back and can't find it!
Currently in bed with dd next to me - it's freezing in this house without the heating. DH nice and warm by the fire downstairs but we've come up to snuggle . Haven't been too fussed about not drinking tonight - I have a busy day planned for tomorrow so am happy to be sober and looking forward to it.

Hi all -didn't want to say too much as have fear of outing myself- however it had been my birthday in the last ten days - I woke up sober and went to get sober - my first sober birthday in ages :).

Love to you all - here's to another sober weekend :)

That was me sippie www.bspcn.com/2012/02/03/30-things-to-stop-doing-to-yourself/

Wow well done lonnika and belated happy birthday!

www.bspcn.com/2012/02/03/30-things-to-stop-doing-to-yourself/ link

Question for those with long term sobriety, did any of you experience post acute withdrawal symptoms? Powell mentioned PAWS upthread but only getting round to reading about it now.

overview here

Kind of - but I call that Life as I've had that since I was a teen, knowing that it will pass and going easy on myself helps :D

Me too. Those problems were in a way why I took to drink in the first place. I am happy to see these symptoms described as something that could go away in 2 years. But not overly hopeful in my case.
Pretty down today. Exhausted and stressed. Finding it hard to imagine ever enjoying anything again. Not because I can't drink but because everything is an exhausting chore an endurance test. Things are all stacking up in my life in a circling holding pattern of demands. Realising how unfitted I am to be any use to my children.
Sorry to be all me me me. Freaking out a bit and just need somewhere to put it.
It helps to remember I only feel like this sometimes instead of all the time like when they were babies.

Also feeling similar Mildred. OH is lying on the sofa wallowing in his hangover. The house is an absolute tip. I just have no motivation to tackle it.
There's a backlog of work shirts and school uniforms to be ironed and the children seem bored and restless.
I feel we should be out if the house spending "quality" family time together.
I used to hate being left on my own when my kids were younger. I used to cry and beg OH to not go to work and leave me when DS2 was a baby. I found the boredom, the drudgery and isolation awful.
I do think my motivation for drinking is often boredom.
I just can't seem to feel interested or excited about anything anymore. I've forgotten how to feel anything.
Hope everyone is ok.