is anyone interested in an alchohol-free / addiction thread?

[youretoastmildred]

My name is youretoastmildred, and I am an alcoholic.

I am 42 days alcohol free.
have been a problem drinker for a long time and have often convinced myself that moderate drinking will be fine. It never stays moderate.
In this 42 days there have been certain key people that I have not had to see. I have 2 events coming up with them that will be massive triggers and I am looking for support (and very very willing to offer what support I can to anyone else)

I have lurked on Brave Babes and it seems to be a thread of successfully moderate drinkers, and alcoholics who can't / don't actually stop. (The poster who started those threads by stopping completely isn't there: I also remember some 12 step nondrinkers from the early days who don't seem to be there any more. There are a lot of posts by people enumerating what they are having or will have and whether or not this is ok but I don't see much actual NOT DRINKING EVER which is what I need to do)

By contrast, the AA meeting that I attend, while it will always have a couple of people back after a relapse, is mostly packed with people with months and years sober.

Is anyone interested in an actual not-drinking or beating other addictions thread? I am NOT saying I am not interested in talking to those who relapse. I am saying that I DO want to talk to people who aim to stop drinking.

any takers?

Back! no more meanour, now Sippie

Welcome Leviticus and afternoon everyone else- how is everyone getting on today?

Well done on another day sober everyone, and good work those who recently quit smoking!

Just wondering how old everyone is, and how old your DCs are (if people don't think they'll 'out' themselves)?

I'm nearly 30, and my DCs are 2.9 and 18 months.

Ha! Love your new name *MrsSippie

Hello mrsSippie : should be "MrsNotSippie" !!

Am 43. My children are almost 10 and 6.

Just realised that - dur!

I am nearly (cough) 50 and have three children - 23, 13 and 8.

I am 48 (almost 49) and my kids are 15, 11 and 8

I don't know how I missed the post earlier. Mr/Sippy I think we have to forgive ourselves eventually although forgiving yourself is always harder in some respects than other people.

Both my parents made mistakes and it was only when I got older that I realised they are human too and fallible like the rest of us. I certainly forgave my mum for her corker of a mistake and my dad for driving us home drunk as a skunk once when we were kids. All over the road, one eye closed to stop the double vision while puking out of the window at the same time as driving. Last time he EVER drove after even one drink!!

Mid thirties, 6 and 1

It's one of my favourite quotes (Einstein I think). 'Learn from the past, live for the present, hope for tomorrow' I suppose I'm trying to say. The past is past all we can do is learn from it and put it to use for the future.

I have had a difficult day. Physically not too bad but mentally all over the shop. I don't know if its an excuse that I lack concentration because of alcohol withdrawal but I feel really discombobulated and unable to focus on anything. Tonight my children are home, one doing a project the others homework/messing about. I feel cut off from them , irritable with dH and desperate for some oblivion at the bottom of a wine bottle.

So I'm writing now this list of (some of the)dreadful things I have done when drunk so that I can remind myself why I need to stay sober

I have fallen over drunk in front of my kids

I have wet the bed( deep deep shame)

Once I fell over with DC1 in a rucksack on my back because I was drunk

I have neglected to do stuff for my kids on countless afternoons at weekends because I have been drunk

I have tried to get out of taking DC1 to sport on a Sunday morning so I can get pissed on Sat night

I have been pissed in front of my DSD and said inappropriate things about her Dad

I got pissed on front of my neighbours at the Jubilee street party - really really pissed in the middle of the afternoon and flirted and danced really inappropriately/ God knows why

I have been vulnerable at night

I got so drunk one day In London I urinated in my front garden IN FRONT OF A TAXI DRIVER rather than wait to get inside.

I Hate that person and I don't want to be her any more

Have some ginger cordial for tonight

Sorcha, I took my son to a birthday party of a school friend completely drunk. I hung around and made a total tool of myself, I had to be carried out of a restaurant after passing out and sliding under the table, I have wet myself on a tube platform and got myself into so many dangerous situations whilst out in London drunk that I am lucky to be alive.

And still I want a (few) drinks now. My kids have been loud, hyperactive and getting on every single one of my nerves.

(((((((Hum)))))))

scary isnt it... xxx

Hang in there Hum, you are doing really well, just think how far you've come now.

I'm 53 (oh god) with two daughters 23, & 13

I've done loads of really daft/stupid/dangerous things when drunk but I never have to do anything like that again if I dont have alcohol inside me /emo/te/1.gif

xxxx

You can do it Hum. Get the kids off to bed asap and do something for yourself. Nice something to drink, long bath, decent book to read or post here for moral support. We are all behind you!! x

God I've also too far too many stupid things while drunk. Being carried out of two weddings six months apart is a particular embarrassment. Have had a number of black-outs throughout the years. Can count on one hand but every time it's when I've been a total disgrace to myself. I can remember nothing about it the next day only that I wake up with a really, really bad sinking feeling that I know I've done something wrong (and I have)

Thanks people. Have eaten. That has dampened the cravings.
For now it's a helpful (if painful) incentive to remember all the hideous times I drank and shamed myself, my husband and my kids.

oh god yes the "what was the bad thing" feeling

I am 42. kids are 11 and 9

my drunken stupidness has mostly been saying awful things to work colleagues and friends or just being a staggering mess and convincing myself after that this is normal behaviour. Also starting lots of arguments with DH. . especially when i was too Hungover to go for a family day out. . . he nearly called off our wedding because of how i change when i binge drink.

I can go for weeks without a drink but then when i do drink. . . I cant seem to get drunk enough. . i dont know what feeling i am trying to achieve but there is never enough alcohol and I always end up dying sick the next day and swearing never again.

now i am trying to numb myself with jaffa cakes and crisps. . .and its not working. have put on nearly a stone in less than a month. . how is that even possible.
stay strong.

I am 42 and have dcs 4 and 2

I also eat like a pig when I am not drinking.

I did drink wine when my parents were here. Stopped again. But you will have to take my off the list as Sep 16th, which was my last day before that.

I find them killer.

don't tell me it's all ok! well it is now, but only because I am not drinking now

Relate to all of the above! So many mornings, with a head as thick as mud, have had to check the internet to check if/what/who to/how aggressive/did I resign Ridiculous and horrible :( I am going through a ton of hot chocolate and sparkling water at the moment!!

Mildred, great to see you back! No one here is going to judge you for drinking in the circumstances you've described.

You are with us. We're all in this together.
I can totally relate to the "wtf did I post on fb/text/slur to people? "

That dying a million deaths and wanting to disappear for a long time feeling.

Well done hum

mildred brilliant!! Peep show was one of my favourite programmes on the telly. I won't tell you it's ok but I will say good on you for stopping again and great to have you back. That's one of the reasons I'm dreading Christmas Day with my family. It's one big booze fest from morning til night and they are killer too.

I have had my mum ask me today if I'm pregnant. Was waiting to see how long it would take her as I could see it running through her head.

Half my problem was I've only had a proper sicky hangover once in a blue moon justlikeheaven. Been like that from a teenager. A few hangovers wouldn't have done me the world of harm and maybe put me off a bit. Yeah right :)

Ds has been on at me to make lemonade again so might do that tomorrow. There's a ton of sugar in it but surely all that vitamin C is good for you? Have been looking online at various mocktails/sodas to make too.

I have had some absolutely shocking hangovers and I think they are worse when I am used to drinking, not the opposite. I think there is an accumulatively toxic effect which amounts to your body saying, "not AGAIN"

hi mildred. . . good to 'see' you. feck it. . .you are back now. you want to kick its arse. . . so for now that's a fabulous place to be.

and Brokeneggshells. . . last hangover I had lasted two days. . I was still hammered when i woke up. In my 20s
that was hilarious. . . or so i thought. now i know its wrong. only took 20 years to cop on

Nope. I get the tired, irritable maybe a touch of headache occasionally hangovers. Nothing some sweet tea and a couple of paracetamol can't sort out. Last time I was sick was after a three day and night bender a couple of years ago. Hardly surprising and lucky I didn't give myself flaming alcohol poisoning.