is anyone interested in an alchohol-free / addiction thread?

[youretoastmildred]

My name is youretoastmildred, and I am an alcoholic.

I am 42 days alcohol free.
have been a problem drinker for a long time and have often convinced myself that moderate drinking will be fine. It never stays moderate.
In this 42 days there have been certain key people that I have not had to see. I have 2 events coming up with them that will be massive triggers and I am looking for support (and very very willing to offer what support I can to anyone else)

I have lurked on Brave Babes and it seems to be a thread of successfully moderate drinkers, and alcoholics who can't / don't actually stop. (The poster who started those threads by stopping completely isn't there: I also remember some 12 step nondrinkers from the early days who don't seem to be there any more. There are a lot of posts by people enumerating what they are having or will have and whether or not this is ok but I don't see much actual NOT DRINKING EVER which is what I need to do)

By contrast, the AA meeting that I attend, while it will always have a couple of people back after a relapse, is mostly packed with people with months and years sober.

Is anyone interested in an actual not-drinking or beating other addictions thread? I am NOT saying I am not interested in talking to those who relapse. I am saying that I DO want to talk to people who aim to stop drinking.

any takers?

Good luck with tonight Sorcha. Stay strong.

Mr I couldn't watch anything with Pink Floyd in it without wanting to get stoned, and I haven't done that in a loooong time. Dark Side of the Moon was the soundtrack to my teenage years.

Olive I went to a friend's dc's party a few weeks back and was quite shocked no-one was drinking. All of my extended family have drinks on the go at their kids birthday parties, which is now what I will be up against at family get togethers. I'm a highly stressed, anxious person too and find even listening to meditation music calms me down and helps me sleep. What sort of thing would you be interested in? Exercise/hobbies/a class.

Enjoy your nights Enid and lonnika and the bonfire Loveday

I listened to a rain sounds app last night and drifted off to sleep quite easily. I find the rain really soothing if you're indoors warm and dry.
I like reading, music, took pride in my appearance. Somehow since having the kids and as my drinking has taken hold I've forgotten who I am and what I enjoy.
It's like I've stopped noticing things or being interested in anything.
All very sad but that's going to change.

Hum Olive - enjoy the 'new' you -

Enjoy the changes over the next few weeks. Notice how your eyes will become clearer and sparkle more. Your anxiety will lesson. Your skin tone and appearance will improve.

Notice everything and enjoy it :)

What helped me give up ..... eventually was the realisation that

a) Normal people don't obsess about everything being a drinking opportunity.
b) Taking one minute, five mins, hour and day at a time
c) Always picking myself back up after a lapse, learning from it, not giving myself permission to carry on drinking because I'd blown it
d) Being the driver when going out (be aware of becoming resentful - only volunteer if you are happy to) as it stops well meaning friends pressuring you to drink.
e) Doing lots of nice things for me as rewards - buying records, going to gigs, expensive non-alcoholic drinks (even expensive bottles of non alcoholic fizz are cheaper than booze)
f) Having a bath and putting jimjams on in order to avoid the late night off licence siren
g) Being grateful for every day sober (still am) and counting my blessings
h) Watching the tape till the end - if I am tempted to drink
i) Finally being comfortable enough to say to people that I don't drink and if they ask/probe further to say that I like it but it doesn't like me - usually stops people in their tracks from probing further
j) all the benefits are here for me to see-healthy, happier, finally lost the general anxiety/depressed head, kids happier.

I could go on - but thats enough for one post. The rewards accumulate the longer I stay sober. Have a good evening x

Thanks. Lots of ideas for changes to make this process easier.

Wow, so many supportive posts, and some superb ideas on coping strategies.
I'm going to back out as I simply can't keep up and I'm spreading myself too thin over recovery websites (and have just got back from visiting DD at uni in Leeds so shattered), but if anyone wants any more info on SMART Recovery, do feel free to drop me a message.

Very best of luck to everyone on or starting the journey - do persevere, life really is so much better, I promise you.

I did it ! Out from 7.15 to 11.15 with DH and a friend. Went to a gig. They drank; I DID NOT! Drank a LOT - 4 pints I think of lime and soda, but it was not difficult to abstain from alcohol. Some kind of switch seems to have gone in my head that I can decide that i don't want to drink. I can see all the potential scenarios playing out in front of me and I just think - "I don't want that". At home in bed. DH says he is proud of me, but I'm prouder of myself.

I am very sure it will not always be like this, not always easy at all. But tonight I'm ok, Day 5 completed - I have not had 5 consecutive days without alcohol since I was last pregnant, almost 9 years ago.

Hope everyone else is ok . well done Olive re the party. I have done that too - wished for something to be over so I could have a drink; not done certain things because there would be no chance to drink; had a quick 'extra' drink before I go out/people arrive , so that I have 'enough'... stressful life. I think It could be better without that stress. I still cant look forward at all the many many situation that are coming up when I would normally drink - enjoy drinking. But today I am sober

:D well done - it get's easier the more you practice.

So pleased for you Sorcha! Like you I am grateful to be going to bed sober and not dreading the inevitable waking up in the early hours of the morning with that horrible, panicky, anxiety. Wondering how the evening ended and in my case just how much of a total dick I made of myself.
Another day of sobriety and hopefully the start of a new and better life clocked up.

Goodnight all.

Morning all - feel great :).

Headaches in the early stages of recovery are quite normal. As are night sweats or feeling prickly (physically, as well as emotionally), and some really vivid dreams. These tend to last about a week or so for the former, and potentially several weeks for the latter. Its basically your body getting used to no alcohol - withdrawal, in a nutshell.

To quote what my 6 year would say that is 'Awesome' Sorcha. Well done, I hope you feel proud of yourself. Are feeling any better physically today?

Every night I've been having horrendous stomach cramps before bed but I think it's a case of eating too much. Possibly my body's way of trying to replace all the thousands of empty calories I used to drink every night. That and the fizzy drinks which I don't normally touch much.

Can't say I've noticed sleep problems. In fact I've been sleeping really well, without the normal 3-5am 'drinkers dawn' I used to get and unable to get over after that.

Today - we are going out to eat :). Doing HW - mostly done just finishing last bits and chilling :).
I love being sober so much so why do I still sometimes crave alcohol ?

Well done sorcha that is extremely impressive so early on!! I went to bed with a book and hot chocolate (my usual habit ) and slept really really well. Stupid cat woke me at 6am jumping onto my head to be let out -grr, but that was fine - it meant I'd had 8 hours, then another two of 'proper' sleep! Off to the woods with dd soon, then ironing :( then run, then dinner. I am going to London tomorrow morning for a work meeting - not overly looking forward to it, but at least i will feel well there!

Have a great day all

Hi Isinde - I think I know what you mean. Also I have lots of 'good' memories associated with having a drink. I need to remember the bad and the drinkers dawn next time I feel like picking up. Have been watching you on other thread Isinde you are doing great :)

I've read lots of online blogs about giving up - one of my absolute favorites is livingwithoutalcohol.blogspot.co.uk/

They have helped - just with the oh! - that's my life (kinda) and my drinking head - I used them often when I needed to distract myself past that craving (or is it craven) moment when the urge to drink struck/strikes.

Have a great Sunday all - It's my last day of rest - back to college (job) on Monday and kids back to school. We've had a lovely week and I've hosted a halloween party for the oldest, painted the bathroom. Gone to a fab gig, went out to a hog roast and bonfire yesterday..... a lot of that will not have happened had I been on the pop

Good morning. I feel dreadful. As though every one of those lime and soda's had in fact been a pint of cider... probably caused by a tiff I had with DH last night. At least I can remember every single thing I said and why I was annoyed and it cannot be blamed on me being pissed..

I'm hoping louisa that being sober will mean I have much more time for all the things that need to be done to keep a family "on the road" .. I have felt in the last months as though everything is slipping past me and I am constantly forgetting slips for school/to reply to stuff etc etc. This stresses me out a LOT as I imagine people are constantly commenting on what a useless parent I am.

Its a sunny day here, and I have a lot to do. Its back to work for me tomorrow - I'm dreading that and thing somehow that sobriety will not be so manageable when I come in stressed from work and have the kids to deal with supper to cook, etc etc

Hi Isende how long have you been dry ?

Calling Mildred I really hope you are ok this weekend - thinking of you

Sorcha x

Just a thought and no pressure, but I wondered if we could state vaguely our locations - just in case anyone is close to anyone for rl support if needed? I'm happy to say I'm in Cambridgeshire.

Surrey

Any habit and the associations will take time to break lonnika. We are rewiring our brains so to speak. The pathways we have made in our brains have been reinforced so much through our dependence to alcohol and every time we have imbibed.

I've been making a list this morning of my triggers excuses to drink and what I can do instead.

Boredom - well that's an easyish one as I've always plenty to do cleaning and decorating wise. Going to try and take the kids out more, take up my knitting and jewellery making again, reading (my biggest enjoyment), cooking, dvds, crosswords, sudoko, maybe get myself a strategy game to play on the computer.

Restless Mind - meditation, meditation music. Was studying until recently so going to try and find an on-line course to do.

Sense of reward - treat myself be it to clothes, a new hair cut or something nice to eat or non-alcoholic to drink. Pamper myself even with something simple like painting my nails, using a deep conditioner or taking a long bath.

Stress/anxiety - Deep breathing, singing to the radio to regulate my breathing, exercise

Social situations is the biggie for me as I'm quite shy and drinking always gave me courage. Can't think of much only to plan what I'm going to order to drink before I go, remember even though I felt drink gave me courage it will damage my self-esteem the next morning and as I have my wits about it I'm not going to make a fool of myself and can always leave if I want to.

Northern Ireland

Aylesbury, Bucks.