is anyone interested in an alchohol-free / addiction thread?

[youretoastmildred]

My name is youretoastmildred, and I am an alcoholic.

I am 42 days alcohol free.
have been a problem drinker for a long time and have often convinced myself that moderate drinking will be fine. It never stays moderate.
In this 42 days there have been certain key people that I have not had to see. I have 2 events coming up with them that will be massive triggers and I am looking for support (and very very willing to offer what support I can to anyone else)

I have lurked on Brave Babes and it seems to be a thread of successfully moderate drinkers, and alcoholics who can't / don't actually stop. (The poster who started those threads by stopping completely isn't there: I also remember some 12 step nondrinkers from the early days who don't seem to be there any more. There are a lot of posts by people enumerating what they are having or will have and whether or not this is ok but I don't see much actual NOT DRINKING EVER which is what I need to do)

By contrast, the AA meeting that I attend, while it will always have a couple of people back after a relapse, is mostly packed with people with months and years sober.

Is anyone interested in an actual not-drinking or beating other addictions thread? I am NOT saying I am not interested in talking to those who relapse. I am saying that I DO want to talk to people who aim to stop drinking.

any takers?

I don't know egg but Ive been ashamed of the bottles in my recycling very often ...mostly because I don't want the neighbors to know how much I drink.

Im ok tonight. Watched TV with DH and feel safe and loved. Also feel scared that I will forget why I must not drink and so will start again. I should make a list of all the reasons/dreadful things i have done...

in bed now. Day 4 done. Well done all.

Brick your posts are so eloquent and exactly how I feel

even down to the smugness about not making a twat of myself or feeling like shit

I remember a corner being turned for me when I realised I was taking turns to go to different shops and being aware of going to different cashiers so hopefully no one would notice how much booze I was buying
ugh disgusting!

also the stress that came from making sure I had enough drink in the house

I knew it was stressful but I didn't realise quite how stressful till I stopped doing it

I have totally done that alternating shops thing, plus buying food as well as booze at the supermarket so it didn't seem like that was all I was in for. All the ingredients for that famous recipe that involves 1 tub of creme fraiche and 3 bottles of red wine! Ridiculous. I don't go down the booze aisle in the supermarket anymore - I have no business in that bit.

It is stressful and the constant fear of being found out when really I knew all along and that was actually the most painful thing in many ways.

I'm glad you've come back to the thread trinity :)

oh yes buying food with the booze and even thinking about the recipe at the checkout as if people can read your mind and as long as your thinking about a recipe then its all ok

just so fucking hideous stupid and stressful and trapped

ugh its so nice to be free of that

Ah yes, the red meat bought with the red wine was always a sure-fire winner.

Or for me - right I've been the local shop and the off-licence already this week, now I'm going to have to go to the further away supermarket. Have to balance out where I'm buying the booze from so I don't frequent one place too much and people who work there don't clock on.

Everything surrounding your drinking is so premeditated and worrying about what other people think. Like putting my wine in a cup rather than a glass so when people call for a few minutes they don't instantly clock it's wine sitting on the table.

It's only been a few days for me but I'm really beginning to see my behaviour clearer looking back. I've stopped before for a few weeks just to prove that I don't have a problem before I recommence but taking stock this time I realise if I wasn't a problem drinker I wouldn't go to all these efforts to try to hide it.

I can't tell you how much TIME there is now in my life without all that double guessing and backtracking and stressing g about how to get the booze, when to start it and how not to run out.

Days and weeks.

I hear you

its so nice to be free of it all

I dont even think of alcohol now

Morning. Great to see you all.
Was with dd1 last night at a and e. No biggie but we waited hours. Nice to be stone cold sober when you have to jump in your car and drive to hospital in dark and rain.
Parents arrive today, mid afternoon probably. Off to make a cake. No I do not remotely dare reveal to them the extent of my drink problem! Good suggestion but unthinkable.
Strength and beauty to you all today, strong beautiful people

Cake is good! It's a worthy replacement for booze.

Your drinking is your own affair. Not your responsibility to manage your parents' response or feelings about it.

You're the priority here.

Youretoastmildred I feel it only right to as if its ok that I'm posting on your thread, I didn't mean to upset anyone with my first post and I apologise for taking your post wrongly and becoming stupid.

Morning! Agree with Brick. Mildred, what do you think your parents reaction to your admission about your drink problem would be?
Would it help you? Would they want to know? For me the answer would be no to both questions.
I have tried to talk to my mother before about my drink problem (she is an occasional binge drinker and daughter of an alcoholic) but she doesn't want to acknowledge I have an issue with drink.

To be fair I have underplayed it to her and she just can't handle me having a drink problem.

I have to deal with this myself and want to spare her any more worry and pain.

mildred. . . good luck with your folks. you can do it. perhaps they may even have some respect for your choice. maybe they might even envy you. but just cant admit it. . even to themselves.

i am coming up to my first year clean from smoking weed. I am so very proud of that. working on alcohol now. tonight will be another challenge as my best friend is visiting and we were party girls. i realise now i was the bad influence on her. . she had never had a drink until she met me at 19. she is not a big drinker and knows her limit. . unlike me. I will offer her wine and drink my sparkling water and enjoy her company. she knows i am doing this and is very supportive.

what worked for me is to say to myself. . in an hour. . half hour. . whatever. . . if i still want a drink, i can have a drink. and then keep doing that. i hate being told i cant have something so this help me.

stay strong

Random stuff (sorry, don't make me leave and go on the bus)

HumOlive what bus would that be?

Morning all.
I didn't go straight to bed. Weekend and Day4 was obviously too much too soon. Still up for the practice of the thread.
mildred, you'll be in my thoughts today, and thank you again for this thread.
Just , if I'm reading this right, why not just let it go, eh?

There's a "sister thread" in relationships called The Brave Babes Battle Bus".

I believe from lurking there that the members are largely looking to moderate their drinking rather than quit altogether.
There is a lot of random chat too.
Not dissing it at all just it's not for me.

hi Loveday

i dont understand?

Don't make me go on the bus sounds like you are dissing it.

Perhaps it would be best not to mention the bus or the Brave Babes at all, that way you won't offend anyone. What do you think?

I believe a thread about a thread is breaking mn rules.

You drank last night Love?
Well we're a group of problem drinkers. It's going to happen.
Today is another day and a new start.

Ok. Yup. Message understood. You happy to let it go now?

Thank you

oh. maybe that wasnt directed at me.

I did Olive. Nothing excessive whatsoever. I've learned a lot from it though. Lots. This is the place for me, and I'm not doubting that now.
Its a new dawn it's a new day.

Hello my lovelies! I'm nearly 4 years sober with the help of AA and very supportive family.
This thread is a wonderful idea; I agree that acknowledging that people will relapse in the context of aiming for sobriety is an excellent overarching 'theme' for the thread.

Just , yes I meant the Bus as you did, and you're right of course it isn't okay to cross thread.

good afternoon. Had an eventful eveing - dd came back from her holiday all over excited and shattered - that shaking too tired to sleep state, but then passed out in our bed at about 9. I put her back to her own bed and about half an hour she wondered through in a daze, and got into bed with me (dh still up) As I cuddled her to me ..I could smell something...she was so exhausted, she had pooed herself (TMI sorry!) it was awful!! Cleaned her up, and got her back to bed - she doesn't remember anything this morning which is good . Slept well after that. Today she has a party and I am going swimming. Sorry to be so dull. Will catch up later. Thoughts to everyone.