is anyone interested in an alchohol-free / addiction thread?

[youretoastmildred]

My name is youretoastmildred, and I am an alcoholic.

I am 42 days alcohol free.
have been a problem drinker for a long time and have often convinced myself that moderate drinking will be fine. It never stays moderate.
In this 42 days there have been certain key people that I have not had to see. I have 2 events coming up with them that will be massive triggers and I am looking for support (and very very willing to offer what support I can to anyone else)

I have lurked on Brave Babes and it seems to be a thread of successfully moderate drinkers, and alcoholics who can't / don't actually stop. (The poster who started those threads by stopping completely isn't there: I also remember some 12 step nondrinkers from the early days who don't seem to be there any more. There are a lot of posts by people enumerating what they are having or will have and whether or not this is ok but I don't see much actual NOT DRINKING EVER which is what I need to do)

By contrast, the AA meeting that I attend, while it will always have a couple of people back after a relapse, is mostly packed with people with months and years sober.

Is anyone interested in an actual not-drinking or beating other addictions thread? I am NOT saying I am not interested in talking to those who relapse. I am saying that I DO want to talk to people who aim to stop drinking.

any takers?

We have a bloke? Marvellous!

I would just like to add that taking it one step at a time is crucial and you can't fix everything at once. Sometimes it feels like one step forwards and two back. Hang in there.

I really like inclusive threads with different methods of recovery. I appreciate that AA isn't for everyone and forgive my AA isms. You can spot us a mile off! :)

From what I read Sorcha, Eggs, Mr and me are somewhere around the same points ie v early days/pre-contemplatative for Socha? Have I missed anyone sorry if so. Will admit to being quite startled by the real long termers. MASSIVE respect.

Am seeing another friend on tomorrow, who will be assuming I will be drinking at some stage, though she doesn't. She will note this and ask. Plan to have exactly the same conversation as I did with first friend last night.

I'd said somewhere up thread that I'd under-reported. A bit of last night with friend was taking stock. I'd conveniently dismissed large parts of what I should have been talking of re volumes. Way way too much, swathing thoughtlessly into health-damaging amounts. Trying to make up for it in the morning with fluids and carbohydrates, before recommencing later in the day.

It has been shit-filled.

This is an excellent article, hope it helps.....

www.sossobriety.org/factors.htm

I am too scared to plan anything. I am literally going from day to day - and in the late afternoon/evening from hour to hour, not drinking. I want not to drink. I was pleased when I woke up this morning with a clear head, and I will be tomorrow too, I have a vague plan for tomorrow which enables me to not drink....

one step/hour/day at a time...

FranTan and others are right - at times it can be literally 10 minutes at a time while you're climbing the walls trying not to drink. My philosophy once I'd actually made 3 days dry (for the first time in c.25 years) became "I'm alright today". No further. But please do persevere - it does get so much better! Life still sucks at times (oh, so so much) but it sucks a lot more when you're dribbling on the sofa unable to speak coherently.
And FranTan - you keep on with your "AA-isms", I'll crack on with my rational thinking stuff, and between us people will take enough away to hopefully get better!
I'm sharing a stage with Mark Gilman next month of Public Health England - a dedicated 12-stepper - and we both share the same destination, we just use different paths.
A word to the carbs - don't go mad on the sugar, or at least make sure you're topping up with B vits at the same time, particularly B1.
Oh, and DO seek medical advice if you're drinking is really heavy - managed withdrawal my be a preferred option. It can be dangerous in some cases to stop cold turkey (but that's not an excuse to carry on as before!).
If you don't want to speak to your GP, do Google "local drug and alcohol team" (DAT) - they've seen it all before and are incredibly supportive.

Why not too much sugar powell? I'm curious as I remember when my previous neighbours stopped drinking with antiabuse they drank loads of lucozade instead, which I'm sure is packed full of sugar. I would get loads of sugar cravings every time I stop drinking (or smoking for that matter) but I do take a multi-vitamin every day which contains all the B vitamins.

I did the opposite Loveday in that after drinking I don't feel hungry the next day. Fill up on coffee until dinner-time. Have always noticed my appetite is far better when I'm not drinking. Yesterday I did nothing but eat but felt very virtuous having loads of veg too. Have lost far too much weight lately. Always bordered on the underweight mark but went down a bit further recently and it concerned me because if I get sick I have nothing to fall back on.

Good article lovemenot. I actually have read that before when I was writing a paper on alcoholism a couple of years back.

good morning all! Fancy - all this activity overnight without me Tut!! I have skipped through posts and will catch up later but have to tell you all what i did last night - basically I was glued to 'My name is...' by Alistair Campbell. PLEASE read it everyone !! I haven't finished it yet but oh my goodness, it is superb - it may be ostensibly about a teenage girl but clearly he's done his homework and I understand had his own drink demons. It is very insightful indeed. Right, ready to start the day after my evangelisising! sober day to all

BrokenEggshells - as drinkers we have reduced thiamine levels. It takes time to build them up again. Glucose (as sugars are metabolised to) burns up any remaining stocks of thiamine, which leads to an increased risk of Wernicke's Syndrome, so when you go into treatment the first thing they generally give you is a big shot of B-vits. In the bum.
It IS only a risk, but when we stop the body's working hard enough trying to get over everything else, so its not something I wanted to chance. Thankfully my memory has come back now, but in the first 12 months I was all over the place. Emotional too.....

More here under "treatment", if you feel up to trusting Wiki.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wernicke's_encephalopathy
Also watch out for PAWS.... ;-)

Thanks powell. Thankfully although I'm not a huge eater at times, I do eat healthily with a good variety in my diet. One of the plus sides to having two young kids to feed I suppose. Would eat a lot of mixed beans, meat and nuts so hopefully my thiamine levels wouldn't be too bad. Will take the warning and cut down on the sugary stuff though :)

Morning All,

Eggs - funny that isn't it? I would do coffee too, but by about 2 hrs of being awake I'd be ravenous. Sometimes I'd tell myself I need a bit more alcohol (to take an edge off) and at the weekend this would happen.
lovemenot I saved your article last night - too tired to read. One for today. And this being the third planned day as adverse to thirs 'rest' day. Within 7 mins walk there are 4 alcohol outlets, and I am walking past them all. Except the Tesco express where I go in and avoid the section I wish to avoid.

Update for who's where (at work and trying to put off writing a massive communications strategy for a board meeting ):

youretoastmildred - 45 days
Me, Lovedaysthename, Sorcha, Eggs, oopsupsideyourhead, weegiemum very new
powellect, lifesgreeatquestions, Frantan, weregoingtothezoo, enidcoleslaw,beeyump old hands !!!!

I know I've missed a couple out. PLease add yourselve.

I've done the same Lovedays. Weekends the kids aren't here I would occasionally get up and after my two coffees, have a couple of glasses of wine and go back to bed. Not so much now mind you (normally wait until after lunch) but it's not totally unheard of. Sounds really bad admitting it but I figure we are amongst friends here :)

This is my free weekend so I know it'll be a challenge being the first weekend off the drink too. Am planning to do a lot of cooking as it's the one thing I really enjoy but don't get much time to do anymore. Have some books downloaded to my kindle to get stuck into as well. Could do with gutting the house but know wine was always my 'reward' after doing it so might just cover the basics.

You get back to work Mr

booo :(

powellct, good to hear that things were tricky for 12 months. (Sorry if that sounds brutal, I don't mean to retrospectively wish 12 months of pain on you) I think I have been too impatient expecting to bounce back immediately. The lack of energy I have been feeling has really been getting me down, because when I used to drink heavily I felt a huge rush of energy if I took 2 days off. Now I have had 45 I want 20 times that, or at least something equivalent, and up to now it has just not been happening!

Still, today I am feeling more up than for ages. More energy than usual, which I think is partly psychological to do with good changes at work. Work has been locked into a very stale place for a while and the sense of things moving and changing is very refreshing.

dd2 was playing silly buggers far too early this morning and even that didn't get me down. When you have a hangover and a 2 year old is saying in pitch darkness "mummy, is wakey time, I turn light on" - that is really not a good place to be. Without a hangover, it hasn't killed my day. I mean, I don't love it, but...

I think I have a lot of work to do. I have been conscious for a while (I am 42) that I am hung up on a lot of crap I should have grown out of. That was one of the points in the link that lovemenot sent last night (thank you!) Now I am free to get on with it.

Have a good day, all. I also have lots of actual work to do...

Good morning
I must stop skiving work and being glued to mumsnet now, bah. But it's nice to nip in and see everyone. I hope that we all have a peaceful day.

The first thing I always notice is more energy - even if it just means I can tackle cleaning some rooms or run a tiny bit further. And waking up feeling 'ok' - never 'brilliant', not at my age, but ok!

Yes, I'm doing this pigging strategy...

okay. Have a bit of space this morning.

After today I will be moving into unknown territory, at least unknown for me for quite a few years. Here's my plan of sorts:

• keep posting

-keep reading everyone else's posts, but especially my own. They are me.

• avoid any stress-inducing circs. as much as possible.(tricky)
• stay totally engaged in whatever I am doing.
• talk to family and friends as the situation arises.
• get some multi-vits and invest in fruit and veg.
• up the exercise levels to ensure I am pleasantly flattened by the evening.
• try to keep a marker on how I am feeling.
• keep repeating "No-one ever woke up regretting that they didn't drink the night before".

Not sure at all about this day-counting thing now. It seems to go against the principles of mindfulness?

Just dropping in to say 'well done' to all of you who are making this journey, and to give you my support. I am a long-term non-drinker (and a long-term poster on the brave babes thread ).

All I can say is that however you get your support, whether AA,SMART recovery, medication, or a thread like this, it IS worth the struggle. What worked best for me was to have active plans: knowing what I would order to drink when I went out (and having a back up request too, just in case there was no lime / soda / coffee) knowing how I would answer people if I was every questioned about not drinking; planning how to avoid being hungry or thirsty, have along list of activities to distract me if I was bored, or lonely, or tired; a couple of well practiced approaches for dealing with overwhelming emotions; a lots of new ways to 'reward' myself and be kind to myself, and to celebrate which don't involve alcohol.

And so gradually hour by hour, day by day and eventually year by year I remain sober.

Hello, haven't got time to read all the posts at the moment, but just wanted to say count me in .

I'm coming up to 90 days, and am doing my amends at the moment (Steps 8/9).

Everything they say in the AA promises is true: before you're halfway, miracles WILL begin to happen. I've learnt to drive! I like where I live! The way I look! DP's trust has returned. I have a cunning plan for The Rest Of My Life in terms of career etc. And I am revelling in the DCs.

Hang in there laydeez. It works if you work it, so work it, you're worth it .

Will read posts properly later x

Not only in the AA promises Many other methods of staying sober on this thread too. Well done on 90 days!!

The AA promises that StinkingBishop is referring to is a particular bit of the big book Mrmeanour which falls after the part about step 9. That's not to say that other methods of recovery won't promise a much improved life (I'm certain they will and do) but 'the AA promises' are a specific 'thing' and have a very special place in aa and are read in many meetings.

Well done SB -it's amazing how things change eh? I had an experience last night where afterwards I realised I'd intuitively handled something that in the past would have just knocked me for 6. We will be amazed before we're halfway through :)

I remember them! I still a copy of the Big Book and daily gratitudes and a couple of others. Sometimes I flick through them.