SIL starting to really worry me regarding my baby....

[GoodnessKnowsBest]

N/C - Quick background my SIL and I have always been really close. She has 2 dcs, 11 and 14. I have 2 boys 3yrs and 3mths. She has had a really bad year, messy divorce and diagnosed with MS.
Since the birth of ds2 I have found her quite over the top, few examples include taking ds2 off me, unasked, when he was crying saying 'oh auntie x knows how to settle you'; nicknaming ds2 with a personal name to her; regularly saying 'oh well I treat him like he's mine' and 'he feels like he's my baby', 'i'm a second mum to him'. She was so over the top with him at a recent wedding that strangers thought he was her child not mine. I set most of this aside knowing I can be over protective and thinking she was just over zealous and it would calm down, till today...
Both sil and I used to use an equestrian forum as we are both horsey, sil knows I rarely use it now. anyway by off chance I logged in today, it is a small community so when I saw a post started by someone called the nickname my sil gave to ds2 I clicked on it. It had to be her as firstly nickname very unique and all the details matched her life except one, she talked about HER 3month old son. I went back through threads and all the details were there, feeding issues I've had, his weight gain details, a strange rash he had and random stories about what made him giggle, being tired from being up all night etc, etc! But all written as if she is his mother.
I'm seriously freaked out. My instinct is to wrap up my sons and keep them away from her. I don't know whether she just told a lie which went too far and had fun with an online persona (so will feel very foolish that I've seen it) or this is something far more serious. I love my SIL, she's my best friend. What the hell do I do with this?

OP I think you are handling this really well and she is very lucky to have you do this. I hope your BiL has some success in talking to her.

Gosh what an awful.situation to be in! Hope she is able to get whatever help she needs.

If she has mental health issues she will need your support not condemnation. If you love her as you say you do she will need you.

how did it end up, goodness? if she was talking with your BIL that long it sounds like they may have got somewhere, if not immediately then after thinking-time

hope you're okay

Hope you had an OK nights sleep, OP, and that yesterdays talking will have moved things into a safer footing for you all.

OP I think you are handling this really well. She's lucky to have a SIL like you.

She's probably humiliated. I don't want to try and ascribe motive or make excuses for what she has done is wrong but I think she needs support and empathy not anger and hysteria.

I hope you DH calms down and is not using this to affirm his disapproval of your continuing your friendship with her in the aftermath of her messy (your words) divorce or to assist his brother in pointscoring over their own children

Have you had any feedback from bil this morning? I hope everything is ok this morning x

Seems t

Sorry acidently posted too early. Bil has chatted for a long time, she's agreed to go to dr for depression. Sent me a text saying how sorry she was, got out of control and it was just nice to have people saying nice things to her, ie beautiful baby etc. Seems it comes down to being more about escapism than anything else, though I think a lot of underlying issues coming to light.
Bil really is a good guy, as is my dh. Neither would want to see unnecessary suffering. Everyone has calmed down. I do want to continue our friendship and will support her but the trust has been broken badly and needs rebuilding which will take time.

You sound like a really lovely person, Goodness, and I think that you've handled it marvellously. I'm glad she's going to get some professional help.

I am Glad she is getting help now. And many a Thank You for making a difference for the better, in her life

Oh I am glad to hear that she's spoken out to people, and that she'll be getting the help she needs.

You've handled this really well and hopefully you can maintain the friendship, but I'd make sure I had very, very clear boundaries put in place first.

I'm glad she's talking. that's really positive. she obviously got caught up in the web she was weaving and it gave her some reprieve from the path her own life was going. You are a good friend and hopefully with the right help you'll get your old buddy back.

You see...that's what I thought. She has indulged in a little fantasising and it got out of hand. She's not unsafe to be around children fgs!

Glad to hear you have all calmed down. xx

How do we know she's not safe pictish? Hopefully she is safe to be around children, hopefully it's as straightforward as it sounds. But what if its not, what if now that she has been confronted she panics or becomes more desperate? It could be as straight forward as having a tough time, preferring someone else life and pretending that it's hers to make her feel better. Or it could be a more serious mental illness. I don't mean to be negative or unduly worry the OP but I think in this instance one cannot be careful enough. I'm not suggesting OP doesn't see her SIL but I'm just concerned that if too much reassurance is given OP may be encouraged to relax too much.

Surely that is the point of seeing the GP, who should be able to ascertain if this is a depression issue, MS psychosis, or another serious mental condition.
I doubt that the OP will be relaxing about any of it, any time soon - just in not such a scary place as when it was first discovered

Perhaps "relax" was the wrong choice of words. The point I was trying to make was that I think its a little premature to make the assumption that she is safe around children. Oh and in my experience many GP's would not have the skills to make such a diagnosis!

Why stay cool, and let OP go on the experience of being a long term friend of the woman, when you can ramp it up and turn it into a made for tv movie drama eh?

So if you're a long term friend of someone suffering a psychotic episode you know what they will and won't do? They don't become unpredictable no? Who knows what is going on for her I'm just offering another view point. But I'm guessing OP wanted opinions rather than arguments between others on the thread.

because now and then things can go very very wrong and when they do, its too late. its thankfully rare, but if someone has a slightly psychotic edge - and claiming someone else's baby as your own is very much an abnormal thing to do - then they are not thinking clearly or reasonably. Babies do get snatched you know.

Having said that, it is very rare. But when soemthing bad happens, it can't be undone and in this case, there were slightly worrying signs including the fact that MS can at times have a psychiatric effect on the brain. She's have been very unwise to ignore them.

Fortunately all seems to be turning out well and with any luck, the friendship can be repaired over time. The woman clearly has had a terrible year.

How terribly sad Poor woman. Hope she gets help soon and that you're ok too