Need to tell someone.

[Drowninginsorrow]

Less than 3 weeks ago my son was born sleeping prematurely. I went into labour prematurely and they couldn't stop it. He was perfect but just too tiny. I have to arrange his funeral which is next week.

Five days later my husband confesses to having unprotected sex with a prostitute at the beginning of September whilst on a trip abroad. I would never have suspected and his confession has been devasting. I thought we were so happy.

I don't know how I am still managing to exist. My head is completely messed up. Please don't all jump in with ltb - before I can deal with anything else I have to bury my son.

Haven't told anyone in rl about what he has done - I feel so ashamed. I just need to be able to tell someone somewhere how Im feeling.

So sorry for your loss. What a harrowing thread. My heart goes out to you on so many levels.

So sorry for your loss xx

oh drowning. I am so so sorry that you have lost your perfect son. What a desperately painful thing to face. Your husbands betrayal is just mind-boggling.

I can see why he felt he 'had' to tell you now - not that I condone it, the timing is beyond appalling. Different cultures can be absolutely unfathomable at times (eg his friend bringing the 2 girls along, knowing he is married ffs. It is too wearying to even contemplate) but what moron has unprotected sex with a prostitute. Not wanting to face his executioners though, well, that is just too much.

Does your mum wear hearing aids? If she's like my mum (old, heart problems) she can hear nothing without her hearing aids. If the exocet missile of rage hits, do please let it out - when the time comes, find a way. It's important you do. To put a lid on this would be madness. I hope the right place and time materialise - I appreciate your fears about your mum but this must be a priority.

My twin badly betrayed me and I also screamed at her then, beside myself, climbed into bed with her for a hug. Understandable. High emotion is rarely tidy.

Im just so sorry you are facing this, drowning.

Another sleepless night.

spring- Your right that was why he felt he had to tell me and I respect that he did. A lot of men lie and deny even faced with evidence. He admitted everything in detail and has taken full responsibility for his actions. As for unprotected sex - he was genuinely ignorant as to the risks and has learnt in the most painful of ways. As it is the infection wasnt anything he gave me but at the time he didnt know that and had to watch me suffer a horrendous 3 day labour and then hold his sons lifeless body thinking it was his actions that caused it.

I have so far told one colleague in rl who has been fantastic and came with me yesterday. Just verbalising what has happened fully has made me feel like a weight has been lifted.

Still not sure how to move forward yet and what I want with exception of an almost primal need to be pregnant again - but that I believe is a common response after loosing a baby.

Just verbalising what has happened fully has made me feel like a weight has been lifted.

How about looking in to some bereavement counselling?