The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Driving Through The Autumn Scenes, Searching For Our Sober Dreams.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse :) Welcome to the Bus, (aka Gerald ).

I'm one of the Brave Babes on board this fabulous Bus of travellers, all in search of their sobriety in one form or another.

We have those who drink in moderation, those who have a set pattern of days on and off the booze, and we have posters who have been sober for minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or years.

There are two lines that the Bus has painted down the side, one on each -

The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement and Alcohol Fosters Inertia

So, if you think you're drinking too much or you're worried about another person, then come find a seat.

We get through our days chatting about all sorts of things, life is, after all, full of plenty of things to fuel our desire to drink, and we're all very different people

However, our common goal is sobriety. :)

The Last Thread

The Reason We're Here - The First Thread

Where are you at beaches

I understand that feeling, although I also agree it is definitely not justified. You sound very hard on yourself, the thing is, we all make mistakes, take wrong turns and make complete fools of ourselves, everyone of us. I bet you forgive other people for being human?

Sorry, I am a really slow poster

Yes I am hard on myself I think it's how he made me I was not allowed to be me or human make mistakes I worked like mad to please him

Don't say sorry you don't know how low and alone I feel and scared and your there

I had to be perfect there was no choice

Have you thought about stopping after this one? Maybe take a breather off before the next drink and go for a walk?

That sounds really tough, a lot of pressure. Are you still feeling it even without him there?

I am here and I know you are feeling alone and scared. You have escaped this man and have started a journey to find a better life. It is bloody hard and you are on your own. I get it and I have huge respect for you. xx

Yes I feel it still my house kids are all immaculate he keeps it up through the children

Thank you beaches I'm sure if I hadn't got out when I did I'd not be here now, it was like jumping out of a tall building that's on fire iykwim

I don't think I will finish the bottle it tasts like shit its the cheep its strongest wine they had

And you managed to find yourself a new home and keep those 5 children with you. You definitely have some strength there.

Have you got a plan for the next few hours? Do you think you could drink some water? Eat something?

Hooray for cheap shit wine! Chuck it out and put the kettle on. x

Just thinking

What are you thinking about Imdoingthis? Do you mean throwing the wine out or that you are going to spend the next few hours thinking?

I just think I need to lose my head
That was my intention
Start again tommorow
I know that each time I try I go longer each time

You are right, tomorrow is another day, just make sure you come back. For tonight, maybe try to drink some water and get into bed early. Sleep is a great way to lose your head. Take care Imdoingthis

I will do beaches thank you for being there

Jeeeze I killed the thread

I was thinking about 'Stoptober' it's where people try to quit smoking for the month of October. Quit drinking too?

Well not so keen on that, I still want to drink a little but cut right down. And be more healthy. And SLEEP properly. It is so obvious that alcohol affects my sleep, last year I nearly got diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue, was having night terrors, nightmares, early morning waking - you name it. So my goal for October is a positive - working towards better sleep - rather than a negative (stop drinking)

Nocturnal October. Noctober

I am going to work on only drinking once a week; maximum 500ml. I will be going to bed at a decent time, and cutting down on coffee.

And if anyone catches me on here after 11pm, kick me off the Bus.

Sounds a good plan!

Someone recently told me that something that can help reset your body clock (and excuse me if you know this) is eating when you first get up, and having a walk in the early morning - she said it is something to do with the light wavelengths.

Anyway, I don't know how true it is, but I have been trying to get up at 7.30 (a real push for me I'm afraid ), and to go for a quick 15 minute wander or at least just go out in the garden. It won't work once the clocks change but seems to be helping now. I do find that days when I had a proper breakfast I'm more sleepy by the evening and less inclined to drink.

Oh, inde.

I'm sorry you're feeling so rotten.

You're not a shit parent, though, lovey, why would you say that? Everyone's parents get angry. She's just having a passing worry about you, and that's normal.

I just called AA he said its gonna be hard to get to a meeting with my littles but hes gonna try get me some phone support