The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Driving Through The Autumn Scenes, Searching For Our Sober Dreams.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse :) Welcome to the Bus, (aka Gerald ).

I'm one of the Brave Babes on board this fabulous Bus of travellers, all in search of their sobriety in one form or another.

We have those who drink in moderation, those who have a set pattern of days on and off the booze, and we have posters who have been sober for minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or years.

There are two lines that the Bus has painted down the side, one on each -

The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement and Alcohol Fosters Inertia

So, if you think you're drinking too much or you're worried about another person, then come find a seat.

We get through our days chatting about all sorts of things, life is, after all, full of plenty of things to fuel our desire to drink, and we're all very different people

However, our common goal is sobriety. :)

The Last Thread

The Reason We're Here - The First Thread

Socfish, that's a fabulously inspiring set of posts, thank you. I came (back) on here because I want to get back to a place of more moderation and was hoping for some accountability...but then posts like yours make me think, why not try for abstinence? Maybe a miracle will happen?

I was here a few years ago, and here I am again. Nothing's changed - if anything, I drink slightly less these days, and I manage 2 AF days a week most weeks (in conjunction with 5:2 diet), but I'm still way outside of guidelines and I don't seem to be able to cut that down successfully just on my own. I keep wanting to either suddenly be able to drink rarely, or to be definitely out of control so I can just draw a line under my drinking career...but instead I carry on, drinking a bit too much, having a puffy face in the morning and an extra 10lbs on my frame.

And Venus is right (as always); it's not exciting. I just pour a glass of wine and open my book, and then another glass and another glass, until I'm tired and go to bed. Exactly the same effect can be had with a mug of chamomile tea, really.

Except that occasionally, a couple of glasses in, a scene that I'm reading will seem inexpressibly poignant. Or I'll be watching TV (which I rarely do, but when I do do, I like drama, the more the better) and the wine will heighten the emotions...and I do worry that sober, I won't feel things as much, and if stories lost their savour I don't know what I'd do.

And I know, typing this, that it's ridiculous. I remember the intensity that came with a good book when I was a (sober) teenager, and the pleasure of a day's reading and an afternoon nap during my (sober) pregnancies... it's just the drive to feel more, experience more, chase the high.

Hi Why
Thanks so much, I'm hurting so much right now and I think maybe its because I'm not blotting out so my real feelings are coming to me ? All the pain and hurt iv been through the last two years ? It's here at last to haunt me

A lot of us drank/drink to dull the pain. I hear this almost daily at AA. Sometimes when we stop drinking our real emotions rush to the surface. Don't hide, engage. You can do it.

Just checking in - still drinking every night :( need to cut down.

Mouse so sorry about your triplets, that must have been dreadful for you all xxx

I know I posted about the triplets earlier in this thread; meant to say in post below that I love their names.

Morning babes, as I have said many times before I am not a daily/nightly drinker I am a binge drinker. Once I start I don't want to stop. I turned 50 earlier this year and looking back over the last 10 or so years nothing in my life seems to have changed (except for the fact that my children have grown up). Everything else feels like groundhog day and sometimes seems so insurmountable to change anything that I end up doing nothing.

So today I will not drink but I will go for a walk this evening and I will drink 2 litres of water. Day by day I will change my life.

Hi all brave babes

Well day 2/7 for me today. After failing miserably in my AF days last week (only one), I realised how so very easy it is to slide back to every-night-bottle-of-wine, so I'm reigning myself in again with the memory of how much better healthwise I felt on four days off and how much less guilty I felt when I allowed myself a day 'on'. My dd is back at Uni now and I have to find myself something to do in the evenings ... back to the knitting or having a rootle about in my veg patch.

Why just wanted to say well done and you are proving to be an inspirational babe. What a change in your posts in just a few days ... go you

Indie Sorry you're having a bit of conflict at home. That's such a trigger for me, well done that you got through it the way you did. BTW, I'm afraid making bread really is that faffy unless you get a breadmaker like me and it all gets a lot easier and you can throw all sorts of nice stuff in, sun-dried toms, seeds, etc etc.

Babyjane You ok sweetheart? and Purps and Thurso ?

Mouse sending you a ((hug)) after your sad time this weekend.

It's raining here in France, but I'm in my kitchen making cakes for the school autumn market.

Love to all babes and strength to all that are struggling x

Missed a few days, mouse so sorry about your triplets, a devastating thing to happen .

I didn't make day 13. I drank on Saturday as a 'one-off' and then last night 'just-because'. It was nothing dramatic, felt like putting on an old pair of comfy slippers, easy and familiar. I forgot why I wanted to stop, thought its not such a big deal anyway. But now I am so annoyed with myself for giving up. I woke up at 4am with a dry mouth and headache and a very familiar 'not tonight' promise. (This is the promise that usually fades away as the day goes on) But I am getting back on the bus, I don't want those comfy slippers and regretful mornings. Today I will not be drinking. X

I know this is a very self indulgent post, I am rooting for and inspired by all of you, I am just trying to pull myself back before I slip down the self destruct chute.

Isinde very very belated Happy Birthday!

Mouse sending you a very gentle hug after your sad weekend. I have just thanked you on this www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/a1867863-Can-you-name-and-thank-3-MNers-who-helped-supported-you-gave-you-good-advice-made-you-laugh-etc#41925823 thread for all that you do. You're a star xx

Im, if you're in tears and feeling so low, can you go to your GP?

I've just gone on medication for depression, having felt for ages that they wouldn't give me any and it was silly to ask (cos after all alcohol is a depressant and I thought they'd just say I must stop drinking first and worry about the other stuff later). Anyway, GP said the reverse. And though it is early days I think as the medication hits in it will be easier to stop drinking as I won't feel so much I have to drink to block out horrible thoughts.

Worth a try for you, maybe?

Hi all, checking in with you for day one! need support as wobbling lots.
will check in again shortly.
Love to al xx

Just checking in.
Day 5 today and like you jango very wobbly.
tanya so get your post, feel much the same.
I will join you in not drinking today

Been drinking last 3 nights and feel shit. Slept badly, woke up in the middle of the night with acid reflux, and spent the rest of the night trying to sleep in a semi-upright position.

Feel guilty, self-loathing and sorry for myself.

rural and alias lets do this! ((hugs))

When all Iv thought about all day is drinking I feel its getting harder I have done nothing all day but comfort eat and that's not me, when I'm sad I don't eat I feel so down

Oh dear, have just seen that I did a confused icon instead of a sad face, I blame the tiny phone screen and my poor eyesight. Sorry Mouse

Fighting the failure feeling here too, hang in there everyone xx

I have had something to eat and feel a bit calmer now. Imdoingthis I haven't said hello yet but I have read your posts. Are you still about? You are doing amazingly well, despite how hard you are finding it you keep going. That is both determined and strong. Do you usually lose your appetite when you feel down? I used to be like that too but nowadays I am more likely to look for some comfort food. Perhaps your body is having some sugar cravings and feeling low in energy and actually needs some feeding. I am around for a little while if you want to 'chat'. Take care xx

Hi Beaches
Iv just bought wine and larger I carnt take much more I feel so low
Yes when I was going through court etc i didn't eat
X

Iv failed tried so hard yesterday

I am really glad you are there, you could help me out too today maybe? I joined the bus a few weeks ago because I seemed to be in a loop of constant drinking, I have had a wobble over the weekend and now it is hard to remember why I am trying not to drink at all. What made you stop drinking 9 days ago? I think I have the 9 day right

You haven't failed, you are trying I can feel it. x

Have you started drinking Imdoingthis? If you have then maybe you could line up a big glass of water to slow yourself down. Try not to be too hard on yourself, it is a huge struggle at times and it seems like the easiest thing to do. I have certainly been there. I am going to be here for a while so post if you want to xxx

Thanks
Yes iv started I felt so ashamed to call AA today I know its not justified

I just to blok out some stuff for a while