The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Driving Through The Autumn Scenes, Searching For Our Sober Dreams.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse :) Welcome to the Bus, (aka Gerald ).

I'm one of the Brave Babes on board this fabulous Bus of travellers, all in search of their sobriety in one form or another.

We have those who drink in moderation, those who have a set pattern of days on and off the booze, and we have posters who have been sober for minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or years.

There are two lines that the Bus has painted down the side, one on each -

The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement and Alcohol Fosters Inertia

So, if you think you're drinking too much or you're worried about another person, then come find a seat.

We get through our days chatting about all sorts of things, life is, after all, full of plenty of things to fuel our desire to drink, and we're all very different people

However, our common goal is sobriety. :)

The Last Thread

The Reason We're Here - The First Thread

imdoingthis just wanted to add my support, sounds like you've had it tough. One think I'm learning is that alcohol will not make a bad situation better although I know the feeling if wanting to get off your face well.

isinde sorry you've had a row but sounds like it's made for a productive day.

I'm proud I've managed (and also enjoyed!) this weekend alcohol free. Can't describe how much better I feel than this time last week!

(((Hugs))) Mouse, words fail me

Well done unhappiness and imdoing this :)

End of day one done. I'm finding not drinking on a school night much easier now but I can't manage weekends. I'd always stay up late drinking with h, now when I try not to I realise I have nothing to say to him. Or rather nothing he wants to hear, he stonewalls me when I try to discuss things then moans that we have the same row every night. It's like without the cocoon of alcohol I can't bear to be around him :(

indie is well bossy. I, on the other hand, am very nice. Here, have an opal fruit....

You rocked it today, imdoingthis. I hope you get the help you need tomorrow.
Night night babes
And Barrie
And Spirit

I agree Isinde, I really feel that people here do care. We think about each other when we are out and about during our days and evening (or is that just me? ) wondering how everyone is getting on.

I wonder sometimes what posters look like, where do you sit to post your messages. I think of JWN's fabulous house, decked out in the best possible taste , of Mouse's busy 'DIY in progress' house full of visitors, tea pot permanently at the ready. I imagine a kitchen table and a welcome smile.

I pictured you today Isinde bashing hell out of that dough, I thought of your dts waking you up by bouncing on you 'til you laugh. We are strangers, we could be anyone. But we're not, we are real people and we are here.

I'm glad you posted today Imdoing and joined us, I hope you stay

Yes sir ma'am!
Salutes isindie smartly the stretches out with feet on the seat and does nothing

Aw shucks, thanks Isinde

Ma get off your lazy arse and take that dog for a walk. He's done nothing but sit the sidecar and eat!

Excuse me ma have you forgotten who is in charge of the Opal Fruits ? Do I have to get my shiny badge out?

I love the idea of being able to picture you all! Can we share?

I am sitting on the sofa with my kindle, surfing mumsnet. The dog is perched on the back of the sofa trying to look out of the window. DD is in bed, hopefully asleep as I already confiscated her ipod.

DH is upstairs sulking. I showed him the earlier conversation between me and faire and he made a face like a cats bum. I have to check the weather forecast now, to see if I can cycle tomorrow.

I have had some wine, and now I'm annoyed because I was looking forward to a lovely relaxing evening before a week at work - but it turned out to be quite stressful, and now I can't have any more alcohol till Friday. Which just goes to prove that trying to rely on wine for happiness is pretty stupid.

Ha! joey that made me laugh. Bet your dh thinks I'm a right nosey cah

I should be in bed but am waiting for my hair to dry - long story.

So sitting in my armchair with a little table to my right and a window on my left looking out across the fields. Laptop on, well, my lap

Oh yes, and cat is sleeping on top of the back of the armchair with her tail dangling over my shoulder. Got my feet up and a cuppa on the go.

One eye on the tv trying to catch up with programmes I've recorded before the memory fills up. Multi-taking, me

So little time...

Btw what is it with the spiders this year? Had a huge one in here earlier

alias I'll share....

I'm on my favourite sofa with feet up on a stool (cos I'm kind of old). If I look to my right I can see the sea, I can see the lights of a far distant land (Fife), reflected in the water, and even in the dark I can see that the tide is out.

However.... part of my dream reality (and I do live in the dream world described above) is that some things are broken on my computer. The battery is fk..d and doesn't hold its charge, and at the same time the electric lead is fk..d which means that I am typing with one hand while the other hand is holding onto the electric lead and 'wiggling' it to maintain electrical contact.

so, it has probably taken me a week and a half to write this email, and you might all be on the next thread by now.

or I might be electrocuted by all my 'wiggling'

venus is falkirk in Fife? I missed a christening there today. Too far to go for us but I hope they all had a lovely time.

faire don't worry, DH thinks all of mumsnet is a cacophony of menopausal women.

Good Morning!
Day 19 here. Survived my third sober week-end. I just white knuckled it this week-end. It seemed harder than ever. However, Monday morning here 8am and I’m baking cupcakes. Its school holidays here and the thought of doing things with my kids rather than spend the entire holiday wondering when the next drink is, is fabulous.

Venus your post about boredom was so relevant and almost identical to what I’ve been thinking about. I am nervous about the boredom of sobriety, but then having to look for bottles every morning, feel nauseous, guilt, anxiety, the boredom of being too drunk again is hardly exciting. Drinking is fun if you do it occasionally and stop when you’re tipsy. I never stop. I drink until I blackout and then fall into bed. And I think I’m missing out on something? Its bloody bollocks when you analyse it, but the booze has such a strong hold on me I can still persuade myself that it will be ‘fun”.

Imdoingthis just stay with the bus. And just keep reading and writing. I found going through (I still do) the old threads very helpful because you can sometimes see a whole story. Amazing stuff. Amazing women.

I was terrified of going to my first AA meeting. I slunk in late and sat at the back. You don’t have to talk. You don’t even have to say ‘no’. You just shake your head if they ask you to talk. I’ve been a couple of times and I think it’s very worthwhile. You’re surrounded by people who know exactly what you’re going through. I’ve also realised that there are people there who love their meetings and have been going for years. I think it’s because they’ve formed some very close friendships so there’s potentially heaps more than just the AA cloak there. Some of the sharing can be hilarious and totally off subject, but all it is, is being in a safe environment with people who understand and really do care. It’s like the bus, but I suppose scarier because we can’t hide behind the screen. However, just go to a few meetings - it could save your life in many ways. I reckon I’m going to make new friends through AA. My real life friends don’t really understand this intense relationship I have with alcohol. They sometimes just drink one beer on a Friday night????

Good luck to everyone else for another sober day. And thanks again for being here bus. I will keep repeating myself that without this bus, I would not be doing this.
xxxxxx

And while I'm on my soap box I am so very, very happy. Someone mentioned feeling serene further up. It's starting to happen and life is so much better sober. No more of those awful guilty, anxiety, depressed, foggy emotions.

I have so much energy. Have lost weight, my skin looks amazing and my eyes are white!

I'm loving this sobriety. The ONLY thing I have to deal with is not picking up that first drink. Compared to having to deal with all the other shit associated with drinking it should be manageable.

Do It Babes!

Hi babes.

Gosh you move so fast round here!

I've been off on holiday and then ill with lurgy and I've missed this new thread. mouse, love, I'm so sorry I didn't see your post until now. Sending you lots of love and strength.

isinde, hope things are going better with you and your DP today.

soc - lovely to read your posts.

Right: can I pick anyone's brain about AA or similar? I went to my GP nearly a month ago now because I was having a bit of a bad time, and he sent me away to ring these people who do drug/alcohol sobriety support. It's not AA, but sounds similar from what I can see. I am a bit nervous of it but know it's a good idea.

I'd been doing quite well this month - not so brilliant over my holiday - and today I've had two big glasses with dinner and a gin and orange, which isn't awful but ideally, obviously, I want to stop completely. As you can tell from the 3am posting here, I can't sleep and I would quite like to go and grab the rest of the gin, so posting here to remind myself not to!

See you all in the morning.

LRD My GP did the same when I went to see him. So I am under the care of drug/alcohol support people. I see a counselor every week which is great. I think it helps just because I have to 'check in' with someone every week and I feel somewhat accountable. I know it's not ideal long term, but it's helping me start this sober life. He's trying to work out why I feel the need to comatose myself which I don't really enjoy, but since I asked for help I feel I should accept it and try anything they suggest.

And then of course, I take myself off to AA meetings.

I reckon it's all worth trying and then work out for yourself what suits you.
xx

Thank you, that's really helpful.

I can imagine not enjoying that either, but probably it'd be good to have someone to check in with.

(I love that the bus has posters on it even in the middle of the night, btw! )

My pleasure. I'm drinking coffee. It's 11.30am here in Australia. I'm in my garden and checking up on kids and laptop periodically. In a previous life I would have got shit faced last night "because it's school holidays" and done nothing today except sit around feeling awful.

Ahhh. That would make sense, Australia.

Sounds lovely, especially the garden bit.

I do know what you mean about sitting around. I hate the amount of time it wastes.

Hello soc and thank you I'm not sure yet if I have the courage to go to a meeting yet, I'm feeling low I don't know what's the matter with me I'm in tears don't think I want to face today I think that's.

Hi Imdoingthis. You had a bad weekend, but you are hanging tough. Please don't be afraid of AA. I made excuses of all kinds to avoid it. And when I arrived at my first meeting, and saw people looking at me, tears welled up in my eyes and I sobbed, dry heaving lungfulls of pain, hurt and defeat. A woman got me coffee and a meeting book while other women sat me in a quiet space and held my under telling me I was in a safe place. Friendly, non judgemental and supporting me. I haven't looked back. Sober 19 days now and working my steps and filled with drive.
I would never have believed it, but within weeks, my life is starting to change. It wont be long now until my baby and my husband are back in my life full time. And this time it will be a life, not an existence. And I could not be more grateful to AA and all the Brave Babes here. None of us are 'there yet", but that's why we have. a bus.