The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Driving Through The Autumn Scenes, Searching For Our Sober Dreams.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse :) Welcome to the Bus, (aka Gerald ).

I'm one of the Brave Babes on board this fabulous Bus of travellers, all in search of their sobriety in one form or another.

We have those who drink in moderation, those who have a set pattern of days on and off the booze, and we have posters who have been sober for minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or years.

There are two lines that the Bus has painted down the side, one on each -

The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement and Alcohol Fosters Inertia

So, if you think you're drinking too much or you're worried about another person, then come find a seat.

We get through our days chatting about all sorts of things, life is, after all, full of plenty of things to fuel our desire to drink, and we're all very different people

However, our common goal is sobriety. :)

The Last Thread

The Reason We're Here - The First Thread

mouse cross posted so nice to see you here. Really hope you are truly on the mend xx

why you are amazing and you will get through this. Really hope you manage to get somewhere to stay.xxx

Rural Thanks for the support, Lovlely. Are boys as bad as girls? I guess so. DD is my biggest 'trigger'. Yes, Ma, picking my battles is a good stategy but I know full well that this doozy will bite me in the arse tomorrow morning. It's happened before and she (who would like to be obeyed - but friggin' isn't) will make an unholy fuss about her hair and refuse to go to school. She up's the ante every bloody time. She's gorgeous and I love her to bits and at the same time she's the Devil's child and I think she should be locked in the cellar (if only we had one!!).

Mouse Sorry DD is suffering. 'Spose it's hard for DH (meh, sorry, men :) ) to understand TOTM stuff. Hope it all went well apart from DD's suffering. xxxx

Oh boy! Things just took a massive turn for the worse. Told DD it was bedtime (usual time). She said she needed to find a charger for her Kindle, I huffed a bit and told her it was too late to sort this now but gave her mine. She's now screaming saying I've damaged her Kindle because I dropped the charger on the bed and it bounced off it! The Kindle has a full cover on so there's no damage. Cue screaming and shouting from DD. So, I confiscated her laptop and Kindle. She's livid. Says I can't take them away because Nanny bought the Kindle and Daddy bought the laptop. I calmly explained that I have parental control and I'm taking them away because she is behaving badly. Lots of kicking the bedroom wall with her feet. . Now gone quiet. Not sure which is worse. God, I feel lost with all this on my own.

Ma - I'm ok, I am, I'm just wary of posting certain things :) Been poorly, run down, fighting pretty shitty fights with bullies that I won't be taken in by or belittled by anyone, let alone someone threatening the safety of my son, village and community. I am ok. Tired....

Off to bed, I need to rest my weary bones, they ache from the inside... xxx

Thank you Rural for asking after me lovely :) Fab to see you and hope you are okay xxx

Night Brave Babes wherever you are tonight, I hope you're safe at the very least...

Why - you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope that you're warm, dry and fed wherever you are tonight sweetheart xxx

Purps - she has to learn to control her temper and her behaviour toward you, the one who is actually there 24/7.

What do you want to do? Do you want to give her them back? Keep the piece or ride it out? She needs to learn. My parents would treat me the same as you have, and I would DD.

Kindles and Laptops are privileges, not rights, she has school tomorrow. She needs to be in bed, not on the web or reading.

Stand your ground, telling her you are appalled at her behaviour. Go to bed yourself and tell her she can have her belongings back tomorrow once she has calmed down......?

Sorry, just thinking out loud sweets. Do what your gut tells you xxx

purps boys can be as bad as girls . Your previous post could be refering to my son. He's definitely and he will refuse to do things and then refuse to go to school the next day because they are not done .

purps cross posted with mouse who has given you the advice I would have but said it so much better than I could. I so know how you feel though my ds does same sort of thing all the time. Think the hormentals are in full flow

Thank you Mouse for your supportive words. I'm pretty sure I'm doing the right thing but hearing someone else saying it helps enormously. Just been in to check on her and she's phoned her Dad on her mobile (she'd hidden it away). He's given her platitudeds (like fucking always - Mr 'Oh, I don't want to say anything to upset you) so she's resolute in her actions because Daddy 'understands'. Just crying right now. It's hard enough trying to do the right thing without fuckwits pulling the rug from under me.

Thanks rural. Nice to know you understand the 'I won't do it' the night before then the 'I can't do it because it hasn't been done' the next day. Feel like throwing the towel in.

Hi purple- just to say that I totally symapthise re DD. My DD is same age and sounds v much like yours. She totally loses the plot and like yours kicks out in temper. I recently started confiscating her phone, i pod etc for a period after any incidents and seems to be working (hopefully not tempting fate) Bought a £15 pay as you go phone. When she doesnt behave, I remove her phone for a week and she has to be contactable on the cheapie and shes not allowed to use it to text friends . It only has essential numbers added and is only for emergency use. she hates it but it seems to be an incentive for her to behave. Pre teens and partic girls can be truly awful. I swear we weren't that bad when we were young. Look after yourself - perhaps an early night. Easier said than done, but try and detach and not engage. it wont be personal. She is striking out and you are the easiest target..

Purps you are doing the right thing. She will sleep on it and it won't seem like the end of the world to her tomorrow.

Do you know my rollercoaster analogy? When you get in the seat on the rollercoaster, what's the first thing you do - you push the bar, right? To make sure that it holds. If it does, great. If not, you aren't going to ride.

That's what teenagers do. They push the bar, the boundaries, to make sure that they hold firm. If they do, then they feel safe. I know they can push very hard but the harder they push, the more important it is to hold that boundary there.

We don't realise how horrible we were to our parents until we become parents ourselves. She loves you, she needs you, she just doesn't want to love and need you. It's even harder doing it on your own but you've got us. Come for a rant anytime you need x

Thank you bailster and Scary - Rant alert!! It really is difficult trying to do this shit on my own. Doesn't help that XP is a spineless fuckwit who will agree with DD whatever she says. His phrase is 'Well, you and your Mum are very similar so you'll clash a lot' (translates to "you and your Mum are on the same level")!!! Ffs! How about he mans up and says 'You're a child and you need guidance, your Mum is there to do that"! Grrrrrrrrrr, fucking mad right now. Got a message from XP on the answerphone ("DD says you're angry") but thinking it might not be the right time for me to talk to him. Huge, huge thanks for the support. It's calmed me down. xxxxxxxxxxx

PS - Scary love the rollercoaster analogy. xxxx

And even when we feel safe enough to ride it, it's still full of ups and downs, nothing is that straightforward is it. Perhaps you could persuade your XP to just learn one phrase 'I agree with your mum'. That would do for all occasions and it's nice and simple for him to remember and repeat

purps hope it went OK this morning. Can you meet up with dp and establish some ground rules about not undermining? Next time she says dad understands can you phone dad and ask him to come and collect her and she stays with him for the night or so....or is this what she wants?
It would be horribly tempting to say " well if dad understands so much, then he would be here, wouldn't he?" but that wouldn't be fair!
Stick to your guns, you are doing everything right on this. You are however, making me dread going through a third teenagerhood with Ds.........

Morning Ma. I took the lead this morning and popped my head into the bathroom and said "Morning", like I would any other day - and she was fine!? Even offered to lend her brother her spare PE shirt - which is very unusual. Had a bit of a chat about, no matter who has bought her stuff, they are privileges and I can remove privileges if her behaviour is bad. She nodded. As for XP turning up to take her away, although I'd love the respite - she would relish the added 'drama' and I think it would set a precedence for her to call Dad for every minor thing. I have spoken to EX about a united front in the past and he nods and agrees to not undermine me, says all the right stuff, but then DD calls him and he doesn't want to upset her (!!) so rolls over and says what she wants him to. He's rather pathetic in that way. The only reason she's not calling me to collect her when she's with him is that he lets her have her own way - all the time. I was invited for Sunday dinner with them a few weeks ago. DD had decided she didn't want the roast meal the 4 of us were having (normally eats roast dinners with relish) so XP let her cook herself bacon and eggs instead!! In lard!! She wouldn't get away with that here. As for your DS - it's your third time round, bet you've got this hormental child thing down pat.

Sharp How's it going for you today so far? Come and tell us about your evening?

Joey Just caught up on your tooth thing. So sorry, it's shitty for you. Hope you are feeling better about it all now?

Why God, you've had such a rough time!! Just wanted to send a hug and hope something good happens for you today.

Hi to everyone. Gradually catching up with everyone's news here. xxxxx

PS Decided not to push for an apology from DD this morning. It didn't feel the right thing at that time. Will hope for a 'sorry' later - she normally does.

Morning Campers! Hope Monday finds you all well - fresh start for the week.

Shit week for me last week - day 2 here today and determined to do better - usual trigger, illness and pain - may as well make myself feel really crap if I am in the doldrums anyway.

Waves to all in the sidecar, will try and stay out of there this week and Ma's bloody bleeding everywhere!

Purps Nice to see you. You are doing a great job and have my up-most admiration. Parenting is tough and relentless and you are doing it unsupported. Deep breaths and hope things are better tonight.

Mouse I'm sorry things are crap right now. I also get the caution re posting - hence all the namechanges. I think penis beaker drew too much attention to us!

Sorry not to nc all, lots of passengers at the mo.

Yeay! Greeny!! Well done on day two, fantastic Sweetpea!! x

Hello, hope nobody minds me jumping aboard the bus? Have been lurking for some time but haven't posted due to not knowing what to say!

I am currently 35 days sober after hopefully reaching my rock bottom and believe me if I can get sober anybody can!

I just wanted to post a quick message to Sharp, my lovely if you are suffering seizures etc it is time for you to get some medical help. Do you have anybody who could contact a dr for you? If you are unable to do this please at least call the AA helpline and they will be able to get someone who has been through what you have out to you. All people manning the AA helpline are recovered alcoholics so there will be no judgement only sympathy.

Please try to eat something take large dose,of B vitamins if possible and do not cut out drinking alone if it will cause a seizure.

why I so admire what you have done I only hope I can manage to stay as strong as you. Have you asked your dr for a home detox? If you are not in danger of seizures etc they should be able to prescribe a pack which includes Librium and vitamins which will allow you to safely come off of alcohol alone.

Love and strength to all x

Hi guys

I've been absent for 3 years

Have you got space for me? I'll crouch in the aisle

Wow so many babes on the bus at the mo.
Welcome new babes and welcome back returners..
Day 1 for me today too isinde. No alcohol in the house as I have drunk all my insurance policies .
Catch you all laterx

Why, hope you are somewhere safe and warm, stay strong babe!
Had my 1st alcohol free weekend in months:)