The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Driving Through The Autumn Scenes, Searching For Our Sober Dreams.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse :) Welcome to the Bus, (aka Gerald ).

I'm one of the Brave Babes on board this fabulous Bus of travellers, all in search of their sobriety in one form or another.

We have those who drink in moderation, those who have a set pattern of days on and off the booze, and we have posters who have been sober for minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or years.

There are two lines that the Bus has painted down the side, one on each -

The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement and Alcohol Fosters Inertia

So, if you think you're drinking too much or you're worried about another person, then come find a seat.

We get through our days chatting about all sorts of things, life is, after all, full of plenty of things to fuel our desire to drink, and we're all very different people

However, our common goal is sobriety. :)

The Last Thread

The Reason We're Here - The First Thread

Purple thanks for coming back. Just stick with us for a while. You won't be the only one struggling with daily drinking at the moment.

It may go against the grain but how about just accepting it for now? Get comfy in the sidecar. There are some lovely big squishy cushions newly added and snuggly warm fleecey blankets for the bone weary.

Take a load off and come and share a cuppa with us.

Why I love that saying of your mum's, I can see where you get your strength and determination from.

We are all rooting for you. The only thing I can suggest is that you try all the homeless charities again. You are so close to getting your own place back, maybe they have somewhere you could go temporarily. Do you have a timescale? How many weeks before you can go back home?

I have to get off the booze. It is killing me. I cannot do anything.

I shake. I sweat. I vomit.

How do I do this?

Any advice appreciated. X

like the rest of us - one second, minute, hour, day at a time

Be very kind to yourself. It is possible not to have that first drink - distract yourself, telly, radio, music, cleaning, showers, baths, cups of tea, chocolate.

Have lots of marmite on toast - and tea xx Keeps posting here

Cannot even manage to have a shower as would probably fall over.

Developed seizures when I don't drink.

Not got out of bed in a week.

I am a wreck.

Sharp Your symptoms sound severe Lovely. If it's as bad as that for you it might not be wise to stop the alcohol completely in one go without medical advice/meds - it can be dangerous. Can you get an appt with the Doctor tomorrow? In the meantime, cut down where you can, drink lots of water, try to eat well and often, take your vitamins and rest a lot. Hugs.

I know I cannot just stop. I need to cut down gradually.

Saw my GP last week. She gave me Prozac

Sharp Did you tell her about your drinking and how worried you are and how badly you are affected when you try to stop? It's difficult, I know. I was a blubbering mess when I did it but it's necessary to be brutally truthful so you can get the proper help/meds/tests. It may well be you need Prozac but it sounds like you need more than that. Have you tried and succeeded in cutting down before? x

Morning babes, just a flying visit to give all my love and support to purple im why and sharp I'm sorry things are so terrible for all of you wonderful people, for what it's worth I do believe what's meant for you will not go by you, stay strong and know that every babe on here is willing you strength and support, we will carry you xxxx ps congrats my lovely ladame big hi ya to everyone else xxx

Hi all
I really feel like I don't want to drink today, my GP said stick to a certain amount I feel like I don't want it or could have one maybe
I'm sick of drinking sick of feeling sluggish in the morning sick of drinking my money away
Sending love to you all

sharp you need to get back to the doctor. The prozac will take the edge of your anxiety but you need help with the addiction. Gp should refer you to local addiction group
purple good to see you. Have an opal fruit...am on daily drinking here too and just not on top of it at all. Join me in the side car awhile.
I'm its the old sick and tired of being sick and tired, isn't it?
Oh, dear. We could do with Jesus boinging in to give us all some inspiration.

< passes Purple and Ma hot, sweet tea and fresh from the oven cookies >

Afternoon babes

Having a quick catch up before H gets home, this is almost like a guilty secret. Not sure what he'd think if he knew I posted on here, baring in mind he is total dismissive when I say I don't like how I drink/how much I drink

Purple I could have almost written your post, right down to missing planned gym sessions. I'm struggling to have af days at the moment, I'm totally lacking any motivation or will power. On the surface everything is fine, everything is done that needs to be done, but I have nothing left for any more. I can't be bothered to go to the gym, start decorating, take the kids out at the weekend....alcohol breeds inertia, so very true.

I'm did your gp tell you why you had to keep drinking? I'm guessing it's so you don't have any side effects from withdrawl, however if that's not the case it seems mad that you can't have an af day when you want to have one.

Well day one again, I've drank for the past three nights. I have to stop as for all I've not been hungover I have not had one real meal in that time, I've had a diet of crisps and biscuits

Hey Annie, sorry you are going through this inertia crap too. Like you, everything is done that needs to be done - but at the last friggin' moment. DC have been picked up by XP (my weekend but am amiable about these things) to go to a local Scalextric evening. XP looking like the 'fun' parent, again. He's bought them all new Scalextric cars so they can join it (like I could afford that!). I was invited - and did say I'd go but so, so, so pissed off with pre-teen DD that I felt a few hours separation would be better. She has been in my face for days now. So much so that when XPsaid "are you OK?" I started to cry. "Where's the wine" thoughts kicked in. Ho hum.

Homework - done. Uniforms - washed (in dryer). Dinner - cooked and eaten. Dishes - washed. Spellings - complete. Handwriting exercises - finished. Some satisfaction.

Thanks for the tea and cookies Scary. xxxxx

Annie promise us you'll try and make yourself a decent meal tonight - just to line you stomach. Even just beans on toast? x

And thanks Baby xxx

It's funny purple but for all I'm with my socalled dh, he very much gets to play the part of the Disney dad while I sort out all the mundane humdrum things :(

I have eaten better today - no crisps - just had a fried egg with mushrooms and onions. I'm trying to up my protein as it seems to help with the crisp craving!

Dd1 has just cooked a pretty damn good roast dinner while I waft about looking deathly.
Fucking periods. Fucking menopause. Fucking fucketty fuck.
Haven't ironed any clothes for tomorrow...will be a panic in the morning but just CBA tonight. Don't think I have enough blood left in my body to remain upright....does no-one care that I am DYING here??.

You flippin' goose, Ma! We all care! So with you on the menopause thing and the 'here comes a ghost period - oh, no, wait, we meant tidalwave period" thing. Grrrrrr. So glad DD has come good tonight. Can she have a little chat with devil spawn my DD. She WILL NOT HAVE A SHOWER TONIGHT!! Says she'll get up early and have one in the morning. Like fuck, she will!!! And then we have the total friggin' drama, in the morning, that is DD; "My hair looks disgusting" Me: "Well, you should have washed it last night - like I SAID!" DD: "It's not MY FAULT!" She still has time to do it now but won't hear a word of it. Fucking huge, enormous, heart wrenching SIGH!

Good to hear you've eaten something a bit more substantial than crisps Anne. x

purps please don't sweat it over the shower. Just say OK then. Take the confrontation out of the confrontation. She won't die for lack of a shower. If she says her hair is a mess in the morning just say calmly "well, there's nothing you can do about it now is there" and keep to the normal school run timetable. Pick your battles and this ain't one of them. The phrases " yes dear, OK dear, and You look lovely dear" are your weapons. All said with a slight knowing smile.... it infuriates them no end!

Evening tis me, Mouse

I have never taken antabuse - It was ME who suggested that Silver may have taken Antabuse because I couldn't remember for sure who is was who had taken it first on the Bus and found it successful. :)

Sorry I've not been around. Life's been pretty hard of late, I've been really poorly, lost lots of weight and to be honest I feel I can not go into on here, as it's clearly not a place to post about personal matters currently, what with the ongoing appearance of unwelcome pests.

Why - are you okay? Have you found somewhere? I've kind of skimmed the thread and seen you're homeless or were at the time of posting. Sweetheart, you are SOBER though and that is a major achievement my darling. I am so fucking proud of you and I am cheering you on like you'd never believe!

If anyone out there has a reason to stop and take stock of their lives, then they need to do it after reading your posts! You absolutely ROCK lady. You might not get it, see it or feel it but by Jeff you are the most amazing Babe I have ever had the pleasure of 'knowing'.

You have shown us all, every one of us that you can still come back, punch after punch after punch my darling, you really can.

One day, you'll look back over these threads, your posts and weep, with so many mixed emotions, you will weep at how far you've come, how much you've changed, how much you have given by being YOU, being honest and by being strong for your boy.

I'm very humbled to know you and hope that you are safe and have somewhere to sleep tonight. xxx

mouse you OK sweets?

Been thinking of you Mouse x

quick check in as dealing with devils spawn Pre teen DS.
great to see you back purple think I have the male counterpart of your DD. Every sympathy and tbh reaching for the wine too

Ma - great post to Purps and oh so true!

Purps - it aint worth it sweets, we learn the hard way as mothers of teens, but sometimes it's easier to smile and wave, nod and agree until you're blue in the face with rage than object and argue.

DD isn't well, the IL are here for the weekend, DH has slaved over a roast dinner and she came in a few moments before it was ready to say she wasn't feeling up to it.

Now, to me,I'm glad she did before it was all served up etc, her share was divided out between the rest of the diners that way. DH, however and understandably, was not a happy chef. I explained better the way she'd done it than not eaten it at all or said once it was plated up. It's her TOTM and she is really, really suffering bless her this time around again.

So, comfort food and bed are her prescription for the weekend, ILs are very understanding. Nemo doesn't want them to go he's just made my FIL have happy tears :)

Anyway - Purps, I'm sorry you are in the middle of WWIII xxx

Back in a mo xxx