The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Driving Through The Autumn Scenes, Searching For Our Sober Dreams.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse :) Welcome to the Bus, (aka Gerald ).

I'm one of the Brave Babes on board this fabulous Bus of travellers, all in search of their sobriety in one form or another.

We have those who drink in moderation, those who have a set pattern of days on and off the booze, and we have posters who have been sober for minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or years.

There are two lines that the Bus has painted down the side, one on each -

The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement and Alcohol Fosters Inertia

So, if you think you're drinking too much or you're worried about another person, then come find a seat.

We get through our days chatting about all sorts of things, life is, after all, full of plenty of things to fuel our desire to drink, and we're all very different people

However, our common goal is sobriety. :)

The Last Thread

The Reason We're Here - The First Thread

Help me get on the bus and off this poison. Am willing to do anything x

For those struggling.

It is a progressive illness. And a fatal one. I got so bad I ended up with Alcoholic Psychosis - hallucinations. I am a professional woman, married with children and luckily DH has stood by me.

I thought I was going to die but with the help and love of family and AA I now haven't had a drink for 5 months.

And I don't miss it!

Xx

Hello mew
I hope you managed to get some sleep,
Someone wiser will be along soon but I wanted to say hello and welcome you x

Ok I didn't get to the end of the thread before posting that!
Sorry!

Hello why
Yes that's how it is, I'd done 9 days just a cupple of weeks ago and I'd thought I'd cracked it you know I really felt on the other side

I struggle with anxiety too so when the dc come home from school it's a stressful time and I feel if I had some calm at that time of day I would help a lot just to think and go for a walk or cook a nice meal but with five little dc its not going to happen.

I nearly lost my five dc through court iv already lost two to my ex..

You have to get mad. Not at yourself, but at the drink. Get really angry: take that bottle of wine or vodka or gin and holding by the neck, pour it down the sink, yelling 'Fuck you! You don't control me, you will not define me and I will not be beaten by you '. Get some reading. stuffs, lean on the bus and AA. Everybody will be with you every step of the way. You have an inner strength the booze is hiding, because it dulls the bad AND the good. It wont take too long before you'll be roaring with your own strength and power.

Fantastic post Why, I absolutely love this

Im you have to make it happen. Nothing is easy with five little children but you owe it them and to yourself to take those steps to get better. You will have to force yourself to make some changes. Even the tiniest change which is a step towards the person you want to become, will make a big difference eventually x

Bill you are an inspiration. So much strength on the bus right now, between us all we can do anything!

Who is driving today and where are we going? Isiinde did Silver give you her cap last time she was here?

Let's ROAR

< fixes goggles firmly on Spirit in the sidecar >

Morning all, there seems to have been a fair bit of activity on the bus over night. I slept quite well apart from waking up soaking from sweating - yuk!

The thoughts about being boring or just bored really struck a chord with me cos I am prone to shaking life up a bit by getting pissed. It really does shake life up as I wake up in the morning after trying to piece together the evening, checking my phone to see whether I texted anyone or phoned them, checking Facebook to make sure I didn't post anything. Then coping with feeling rough - usually a headache and nausea and trying to get through the day running on adrenalin with a fake smile on my face.

Oh yes that really shakes my life up and stops it being dull . Today I will not be drinking.

Morning babes:) resisted the wine witch last night. Changed into my pj's when I got home from work so that I wouldn't be tempted to visit my friend and have some wine.
Do I regret not having any wine, no I don't! Result .

Im I definitely find after school really stressful and I only have 2 little ones but I do try to take a step back and observe them. I love watching them interact with each other and see their enthusiasm for what they have achieved. However, I have also noticed that it is 10 x worse if I am trying to do this when exhausted from trying to keep my life operating 'normally' whilst downing wine every evening.

It certainly doesn't make anything better but I have fallen into the trap of getting through each day so I can have my 'reward'. The reward that makes me feel like sht......alcohol just pi off and leave me to enjoy my life fully.

Good for you Tanya. Love that morning feeling

ruby yes that's me I'm very guilty if needing a reward and when not drinking I found it hard as I tried to replace it with something special treat but a hot coc didn't have the same appeal but then again I must learn to re train my brain to enjoy that hot choc.

It's funny, I was told by my GP to drink a certain amount of Alcohol and I court a thought this morning over breakfast when thinking about my day

" I thought oh I have to drink x amount of drink tonight

I thought what if I don't want to drink today!
Strange when were I'm told to do something we want to do the opposite

Hi all, still here reading and keeping up but feeling quiet.

Welcome to new faces, Mew.you sounded in a real panic last night. I hope you managed to get some rest and are feeling a bit calmer this morning. I am sure that you are more than the alcohol you drink. You are a mum, partner, student, person. So, take today off. Avoid the pub at lunchtime, keep yourself away from temptation as much as possible. Make NOT having a drink your goal for today. (Ha, sound like a bossy cow!). Good luck xx. Sharpkat hi again! your post jumped out at me. sounds like you have reached a wall, get your sorry ass up the bus steps and into a seat! So deep breath and a change can happen today. Rooting for you here. Xx

I am doing ok, have had 4 nights of drinking but that is out of 31 so still feeling happy about that. On the nights I did drink, I was without exception a greedy drinker. Had more than I intended and felt crap. I am using them as a reminder that abstinence doesn't change me into a moderate drinker, so I think they were useful in keeping me aware.

Warm wishes to those struggling, reading and posting.

Im it must be weird being told how much to drink but I guess you have to follow the GPs advice although nothing stopping you going back and discussing it with them?

I never usually treat myself with anything, I would turn down a hot chocolate or cake cos of the calories and then drink loads of booze . So have just baked an apple crumble because I like them and I shall be eating some for a treat yippee

Ruby, am having a cup of coffee at work at min and would just love a piece of your apple crumble

Hi Beaches 'nice' to meet you and read your sensible words of advice. I'm impressed with your 27 days af.

Mew I too hope you're doing ok today? I know how you feel as being the one people count on for having a drink - me too. I've had to cancel 2 nights out this week because 1) I didn't know how to explain my no alcohol and didn't want to attempt a drink. 2) one of the friend's I was meeting loves her booze and I don't know what we would talk about if I was sober - gulp.

I am aware that I am posting more than anyone at the moment but I'm finding it really useful in my attempt to stay away from the WW. Apologies if I don't nc or respond to everyone but I am reading everyone's posts.

Tanya I'm sending you some apple crumple now, hope you enjoy it. Would you like cream, ice cream or custard with it?

Cheers for the apple crumble Ruby ... custard please!
Isinde road trip sounds fab and just what the doctor ordered

Hi babes Looking forward to seeing you all - so, I have got luffly cheeses and baguettes and tomatoes and tiny cornichons and cold roast chicken and a tarte tatin for afters. Loads of strong coffee as well. The sun is out here and I will sit in the garden and wait for you.

Afternoon everyone! Hope everyone's doing ok today sorry about yesterday, was in a panic, the alcohol I drank in the day wore off and I woke up in the night and thought I was dying. eventually managed to coax myself in to being sick and felt much better :( not good, but did help. Feeling very guilty again, but came home for lunch today instead of going to the pub. That's a start. Been reading through recent posts, you've all be through such hard times, don't know how you cope and manage to stay sober (most the time). Particularly touched reading from mouse, whydidthishappen & imdoingthis, your all coping with so much shit, I lurk a lot (been on before but nc) but never feel qualified or able to give much advice. Just have admiration, your all doing really well.

Hi Ruby keep posting away

Indie you made Liverpool sound very appealing, I'd say your tourist board campaign was working . However, a sunny French garden with cheeses and baguettes has got me properly daydreaming . (If only I was clever enough to know what a cornichon was!)

Beaches It's a teeny tiny pickled gherkin

Ok, I googled it. 'a mini French gherkin' I feel more complete now

Ha, you beat me to it! Thanks Ladame.