The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Driving Through The Autumn Scenes, Searching For Our Sober Dreams.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse :) Welcome to the Bus, (aka Gerald ).

I'm one of the Brave Babes on board this fabulous Bus of travellers, all in search of their sobriety in one form or another.

We have those who drink in moderation, those who have a set pattern of days on and off the booze, and we have posters who have been sober for minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or years.

There are two lines that the Bus has painted down the side, one on each -

The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement and Alcohol Fosters Inertia

So, if you think you're drinking too much or you're worried about another person, then come find a seat.

We get through our days chatting about all sorts of things, life is, after all, full of plenty of things to fuel our desire to drink, and we're all very different people

However, our common goal is sobriety. :)

The Last Thread

The Reason We're Here - The First Thread

Afternoon, tis me Mouse

Ma - Is it wrong to fall into the arms of an 11 year old? Bless him. - No, it's not wrong because he, your beautiful, sensitive, gentle and wonderful boy, who loves you and sees beyond the alcohol. In his very simple terms, mummy/mum has wine, mummy/mum is calm and smiles more.

It's sad but true isn't it? He has warmed my heart, bless him. xxx

Thank you for all of the nice well wishes etc, they helped me to sleep until Nemo woke screaming at 2am.

Why - 35 days is something that you should be so proud of, that's into your second MONTH, past your first full month!

I too hope that they don't cancel again sweetheart. Sorry about your bitten head, I too swell like a giant pod! Seriously! It's hideous! Big hugs to you lovely xxx

Tortoise - TBH, I'd have had a glass of wine too after a day like that sweetie! Is the A&E child okay? Everything always seem to come at once so I'm sending you snuggles. xxx

IsinDe - another mini success in my book sweetie :) xxx

It's freezing here, windy and generally crap. I have bought myself a fleecy cream and pink spotted polka dot Onesie. DH was not a happy chap His face was a picture!

THIS THREAD SHALL NEVER DIE!!!! xxx

I'm so lost again been drinking more than before sorry to just keep barging in and out as I do
I'd reached 9 days before
So unhappy I don't know what to do

Hi all. Day 3 here and feeling exhausted but much less irritated so that's good .

Hope everyone is doing ok?

Hi Typhoon or is it Tanya? I think nails is a brill idea - that is the kind of thing I should do

Why hope you're feeling ok and that you manage to see your boy

Isinde sounds like you did well last night shame about the lack of sleep

Mouse hope you're feeling a bit better and that you are nice and snug in your onezie? Why was Nemo screaming in the night? Is he ok?

Sorry not to name check everyone but hope you are all ok?

Hi Im sorry you're not too good at the moment. What are you doing at the moment?

Sorry about repeating 'moment' I should preview my messages before posting

Im try again. I know its hard, got to 14 days recently and now back on day1 for the second time this week. Think you just have to take it a minute at a time sometimes and then an hour etc. 9 days is brill and proves you can do it. Keep trying every hour you would normally drink and you manage not too is a mini success

Sorry just realised I forgot to welcome ruby looks like you are doing well.
Go girl

I'm sick off felling like this
I need a break from my feelings I feel so desperate I'm a mess

And I'm drinking again no change there then I hate my life I wish he'd just get on and do it or something would just happen to me to make this pain stop I need to be disanabled

Hello IM.

Do not fret. Booze screws the brain and the more you drink, the more you want. Well that's how it went for me. I ended up in hospital on more than one occasion but it got so bad for me that I almost surrendered and thought 'I can't do this anymore'

Sick and tired of feeling sick and tired I suppose. I was scared of so many things because of the alcohol - heights, crowded trains, you name it.

I really had gone bonkers. I tried so hard to control it, but I couldn't.

I had to stop. And I have. Just one day at a time. Every second counts. Life is too short to give it all up over what is essentially a poison.

Try and eat. Try and rest. And be kind to yourself. X

IMdo you go to AA got a feeling you said not but telephone support.
bill has given you really good advice try to follow it . Post here if you need help. that is what this thread is for

It feels like a living nightmare
rural yes I have good phone support from someone from AA

bill sounds like you've done amazingly

Hello my friends,

I've just got back from work,

I am really struggling with the long hours, new people (some seem v officious!), struggling with Dc's away from home, and struggling with my day off (what's that about?), and struggling with the knowledge that my qualification will never be. I'm not just practising for the "ing" words spelling test tomorrow, either!

Sorry that sounded very flippant, but, I am finding it hard at the moment, just me and Dh again, after having DC2 home all summer, and DC1 having moved in with his Gf, bless them.

Anyway, I got home, and I had a message from "Secret Santa" saying that someone had nominated me, I have tears in my eyes, and feel so bad that I haven't kept up with you all, for some weeks now. I think I should be writing this on the "thank you" thread, but, as this is the only Mumsnet thread that I have ever been on, it must be one of you!

I joined this bus on 28th October, three years ago, and it has been a complete lifesaver for me, I was pretty horrid when I first came on (hangover), and all I received was sympathy, empathy, and understanding. I love you, my mateys

P.s this has been a long time in writing, because Dh has just come home, and told me that he found out today, he has an older half brother, who his Mother gave away for adoption. Long night tonight I think!
T xxxxx

Ps so sorry not to namecheck, but, just wanted to check in!
*I'm bill has very wise words, the wine just colours everything, and not in a good way, things we need to leave behind become so important, when we really just need to stay in the day.
I have a quote from a book on my study wall, that says " Forget the past unless it's happy and look forward"
Thanks Isinde for that, years ago!
xxxx

I'm so sorry,
Have I killed the thread with my introspection?
(hangs head in shame)

I'm sure it's me that killed it

I'mdoingthis You can and will break the cycle of drinking. Phone support is good, and here is an added help if you are house-bound with the kids. www.aaonline.net/

On-line AA meetings. Just like being there, and great support. I know you can do it because I can hear how much you want to do it in your posts.

Saw my lovely boy this morning. He just BEAMED when I came into the room. I could run a marathon over broken glass to see that every day. We played and snuggled, ripped up paper (which he loves and it cracks me up) had some lunch and he fell asleep in my arms as my DH came to collect him. Peed in a cup before I took my antihistamine .
Was delighted with my DH and his small outburst at SS. I hate that INSIST on calling me "Mrs. Whydidthishappen" rather than by my first name, when I have repeatedly asked them to do.

SS: "Mrs. Whydidthishappen, your time is over now, please hand the baby back"

DH: "Oh if you're going to make her cry, can you drop the false formality. She just peed in a container in front of you before she was allowed to take her medicine, I think you can be on first name terms. What time is her ritual humiliation at on Friday"?

Not super-helpful to speak to SS that way, but it was nice to see DH recognizing things from my side. Probably more than I deserve. But we can't wait to get our new apartment and all move together again.

Hang in there Babes. Day 36 about to be put to bed.

why you totally and utterly rock and so does your dh!
thurso I too have been nominated! Which one of you daft cows did that? I am beyond, beyond touched but cannot possibly accept. I go on the credit crunch thread a lot and there are people on there so desperately short of money and worried sick about Christmas, that I would feel dreadful accepting a gift. Hope I don't sound ungrateful.... Just being nominated has been gift enough and absolutely made my day!

And me!!

why amazingly strong bless ya, sleep well x

I'm without my oldest two dd and ds I refuse in my head to deal with that right now or except its happend.

Why, it sounds like you and DH are a good team, once you can get over this. And your lovely boy sounds like a total delight. He'll be back with you soon, and he won't remember a thing about this time my love.

Mouse DD2 is utterly fine, the little blighter. Well, she'll have a permanent scar, but this morning she was asking to play the very same game that caused the problem in the first place (walking on my bed; she toppled off and into the corner of a mirror) - anyone would think a 22 month old has limited risk assessment skills, or something!

AFD yesterday achieved no issue. I do the 5:2 diet so of course I can't drink on fast days, and it's just not even a problem at all; because there's an actual "reason" not to drink on that day, I don't struggle with it. An AFD day just for its own sake, on the other hand, is much trickier. What's that about, then?

I need to know if its the drinking that's making me feel this bad or something else, I'm worried to tell my GP how I feel I don't want to lose my kids.
I feel utter panic, I feel scared my hearts racing I want to cry, I don't know how I will get through today, I don't know what to do to make this stop anymore

Im sorry this will be short, I'm just off to work.
Eat something, drink plentiful cups of tea, and I'm sending you love and strength.
xxx