Garden - at the danish pastry!! You go girl!!
I can relate to the addictive personality too, drugs, drink, dieting, sex, I also had the addiction to feel wanted, needed, the desire to feel something - but what?
I also personally, relate to replacing one thing with another. And when you take the alcohol, drugs, numbing substances away, then what the actual Jeff are you left with? What to do then? Where to turn, what to take, how to get that high, that buzz, that numbness etc.....
Because like me Garden, there has to be a replacement, like many of US BABES, there has to be a trade off, surely?
And then you hit the wall, the big decision time, you need to think long and hard about what can give you a reason to be up at night, sat with your DH/P or not if you're single.
You have a child, that much we know because you've said :)
So, do you feel that you need a substitution for the alcohol this time knowing NOW what you do? And, if you do, then what? And more importantly, WHY?
I'm not trying to get your back up, I want to help you and so do the rest of the Bus, that's how the Bus rolls!
Do you think you want to cut down or STOP? Or aren't you sure what the fuck it is that dropped you off at the Bus stop today? :)
You're very welcome btw, especially if you do cake! I can't right now because of a lifestyle choice I made - there's a couple of us on the Bus 'Bootcamping' just now - don't ask!!
I hope that we can help you find what you want. :) xxx