The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Driving Through The Autumn Scenes, Searching For Our Sober Dreams.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse :) Welcome to the Bus, (aka Gerald ).

I'm one of the Brave Babes on board this fabulous Bus of travellers, all in search of their sobriety in one form or another.

We have those who drink in moderation, those who have a set pattern of days on and off the booze, and we have posters who have been sober for minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or years.

There are two lines that the Bus has painted down the side, one on each -

The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement and Alcohol Fosters Inertia

So, if you think you're drinking too much or you're worried about another person, then come find a seat.

We get through our days chatting about all sorts of things, life is, after all, full of plenty of things to fuel our desire to drink, and we're all very different people

However, our common goal is sobriety. :)

The Last Thread

The Reason We're Here - The First Thread

Tortoise I had a moment of insanity and thought of taking up cigarettes again......it seems like we 'need' something.
Chocolates fill a small gap for me, but not sure what else to suggest. More exotic food? Strange non alcoholic drinks. White knuckle ride it out for a night?

isindie leave the bottle. Step away from the bottle. Walk slowly and calmly to the door...

Bloody hell, alcohol is everywhere isn't it. No wonder it's so hard to resist sometimes. When you were talking about books clubs, it didn't even cross my mind that there would be wine. Don't know why, it seems to be appropriate for every occasion these days

Tortoise I used to have huge food/tv/wine links and even stopped watching some of my favourite programmes to avoid that habit. Try getting a new boxset and making different habits. Something where the plot is so complicated you need to stay sober and focussed to 'get it'. Recommendations anyone?

(I used to watch things like Poirot and not be able to remember the next day whodunit because the wine made me nod off or block it out so there was no hope of anything more taxing )

Or, download a series to watch on your laptop in bed with a cup of tea?

Isinde I had to look twice to double check the time of your post last night. You changed two of your habits. You didn't open the bottle and you didn't stay up until the small hours (although you woke up, but that's different). Things are changing for you, my lovely, well done

Leave the bottle. There is always opportunity to buy more if you want it, but don't have it just because it's there. And if I'm too late and you've taken it, pour it away.

Alternative treats. I have tried to be 'in the moment' to enjoy my life. If I sink into a warm bath, I luxuriate in it. If I stretch out in my bed with clean sheets and a good book, I am happy as a pig in shit

A walk in the cool air with the wind blowing my face, even in the rain, can be a refreshing experience. A belly laugh over something stupid with my family or friends makes me grateful to have company. These, and many other little everyday moments are all 'treats' to be savoured and remembered.

I used to shove everything in my gob - food, drink, cigarettes but this oral fixation for 'reward' is not as satisfying as all the other things we can do.

I've saved loads of money too.

Have a good day babes. And welcome to any new babes that I've not spoken to yet, looking forward to getting to know everyone better x

Brilliant post Faire, I found myself nodding at parts of it, I still shove everything in my gob but hopefully that will change. Today I will do my best to be "in the moment".

Lovely post faire

4 days AF for me, although am still not sleeping properly. Just can't seem to make myself switch off that bedroom light!

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Cut - are you out there lovely? You've not posted for a while, just wanted to check how you are, if things are better for you right now? Even if you're drinking, just pop in and post a quick :) or so I know xxx

IsinDe - my friend, you have made me smile so very much. You may see the changes of last night as small steps but knowing you as I do for the years that I have, I think you have turned one hell of a bloody big corner! Really, I do. :)

Without sounding patronising, or to belittle the giganormous step that took last night, I'm proud of you, ever so proud of you sweetheart. xxx I think if it were me, I'd have taken the bottle of wine but that's more the fact that I'd paid for it than I wanted to drink it asap....

I'd take it home and save it or give it to DH or share it with a friend but that's how I work. Last night I went out and I had a glass of wine, some wonderful laughs and came home, went to bed and snuggled up to Nemo when he woke again at 1.20am.... If I'd have had more, and he'd have woken at that time, I'd have been grumpy and not wanting to get up but because I'd been out, I missed him so much.

Also, I didn't want more than one glass of wine. That in itself is a huge turn round for me, from where I used to be and do you know what IsinDe - that step, that forward step that you took is the start of better things because if you read back over the last few weeks, you are posting more and more about 'how you went to bed sober' 'how you didn't have that last drink' about 'how you started later' etc.............

You're changing. Your habits are changing. I know that you had that massive shitty night with DP and things are still a bit, ahem, frosty in that department but you can see that now.

Months ago you'd have thought fuck it wouldn't you? I really do think that you are beginning to unravel the demons, the fears, the reasons for your drinking, bit by bit and every so slowly and maybe without knowing it.... I think you are starting to come to the end of the circles that you walk day in and day out. :) xxx

Hi babes haven't read back, having to deal with some long overdue RL issues, will catch up tonight, just wanted to send my love to everyone xxxx

Good morning babes.
So many of you doing so well at kicking the WW into touch .
tortoise can't really help as I can totally relate to what you are saying.
Find it really hard to find substitutes.
I am on day 8 a/f today and so far every day has been a fight and soooo
hard.
I have gone to bed every night thinking ahh well I've been good today so I can have a night with my old friend white wine tomorrow.
So far I haven't just wake thinking WOW i feel so much better with each passing A/F day I'll try for another. Sort of just taking it ODAAT and sometimes one minute at a time when the ww digs her claws in.. Success thus far .

Jessie - today I am hurting like billyo after my acupuncture, and I have no pain relief at all. Whilst I was lay on the table, I could feel the needles in me and I could feel the pain around the areas.

I told the physio and she said I needed to relax as my muscles had gone into spasm around the needles so I have another 4 sessions to go.... let's see shall we?

How many sessions did you have?

Joey - well done on 4 days!! GO YOU!! :)

Soc - how are you feeling today? :)

I have hydro again at 1.30, then Nemo's nurse is here at 3.30 and then an AGM at school at 7 so another day of madness and busy mummy! I will be home to put him to bed thought tonight, even if I have to leave early :)

How's everyone feeling today who hasn't posted so far, or even if you have, are we all ready to kick the WW into touch? This weather (cold, damp, Autumnal) is helping me to keep to my no carbs or starch way of eating as I'm filling up on hot drinks and water!!

babyj hope everything is okay with you today

mouse hmm I got the impression the needles were supposed to relieve the muscle tension and spasms. It did make it ache afterwards (as if my muscle had been massaged in one specific spot on the inside) and then gradually the tightness improved. But my physio was really good, he could tell where my muscles needed it.

Also I really trusted him, because to begin with I thought acupuncture was all woo and alternative (but figured the cash-strapped NHS wouldn't pay for it unless there was some evidence that it worked) but he persuaded me to give it a go - and yeah it did help.

Faire I found watching the returned kept me off wine, I couldn't have kept up with the plot never mind the subtitles if I was drinking.

Well day five, physically I feel so much better since cutting down drinking but lately my mood is lousy. I feel like crying all the time at work, I'm bored stupid at home but I have no motivation to do anything. I'm off tomorrow so I'm going to force myself to go to the gym and blitz the house - hope it'll help me snap out of it

Annie, I am like you, lousy humour at work, bored stupid at home with no motivation to do anything. This weekend I also intend to blitz my house!

Hi All.
My day went a bit pear shaped yesterday with DH being taken to hospital and having a CAT scan. He is fine and they think it was just migraine symptoms, the scans showed nothing untoward, but for a few hours everything felt so fragile and surreal.

As far as the WW is concerned, once the relief kicked in and I was left with lots of adrenaline flying round and I REALLY wanted a drink. I didn't have one actually because I just seemed to recognise that it wouldn't help anything, so while that is good, I wondered why the urge was so strong. Heightened sensation? Need to dull/control the feelings probably. I wonder if the adrenaline is the trigger because an argument (or the after argument feeling more precisely) will have a similar effect for me. Perhaps I just want to hide from strong feelings. Anyway, there is my navel gazing for today.

It sounds as if lots of you are doing really well battling the WW, it is day 4 for me today although apart from my 2 day mishap I have had 16 days AF. It isn't always easy and like you rural I run through the 'I've been good today so I could drink tomorrow' dialogue.

To all babes and lurkers, keep going, well done and take care. xx

beach sorry about your DH but good that all is fine and you didn't drink - that is amazing. Never mind the 2 day slip. That's nothing. 16 days is awesome.

mouse I'm nearly back to firing on all cylinders. Fortified with a kickboxing session and chocolate. Fuck this WW.

I'm off to bed. This week-end will be my fourth sober. It's definitely getting easier. As long as I don't try and deal with the "forever" issue.

typhoon and annie my house has never been cleaner.

Have a good day everyone
xx

Great news Soc - sleep well lovely xx

Joey - it's only my first session so I'm going to see how we go :) xx

I too watched The Returned and there's NO WAY I could've drank and kept up with the subtitles! Excellent way of keeping sober - subtitled film, exercising, hobbies - both in and outside of the house....

Right, hydro here I come.

See you later Brave Babes, keep going! :)

xx

The Returned I was the complete opposite, watching that with my once-a-week glass of wine was my special treat over the summer!

But since the series finished, I don't have a special day of the week, and instead it's been creeping up to twice a week or more...

I'm self-imposing a limit of Fridays & Sundays; on Saturday we are going to the in-laws and I am almost looking forward to not drinking! I haven't had a drink with in-laws since Christmas and yeah sometimes they are boring and annoying but actually it's NOT as bad as I feared. I haven't regretted that decision once.

Indie Fking awesome!! If I'd had three glasses and found myself in a hotel room on my own with a bottle, I don't know if I could have done what you did. I hope that your day is going better than you thought, it didn't start with a hangover because you were stronger than the WW Love it, love it!!!

I huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurt.

My hydrotherapy killed me today, Nemo has a temp and I have an AGM at school, I have to show my face what with the Parent Governor application and all :)

Better spruce up, be back later after I've put the boy to bed.

I hope you're all okay? xxx

Ah, poor wee Mousie, don't push yourself to hard, lovely (as if you've got a choice). Promise me you'll book a lazy day for yourself sometime soon? Feet up, movie, snuggles and catch up girlie times with dd?

Hey babes, shall we schedule a facepack Friday for tomorrow? What time is good for most people? We'll all meet up here looking like right 'nanas, what d'you say?

HI Mouse and everyone. I am doing well. Walked 10 miles over the last two days and feel physically really good for having done that.

I am still having drinks in the evening but am starting later, having smaller measures and going to bed at 10pm. I haven't had a hangover since Tuesday (yeah!). Small steps. I have a big weekend with kids stuff so my usual Friday night will be curtailed by necessity. All in all, I feel pretty good. THANKS BABES!

Hey, Faire, facepack night sounds like a good idea, although, I'm so tired I already look like I've got one on .

New job, so, so, "on", I imagine I'll get used to it!

Dh has been out most evenings this week, so at least I don't have to get in at 6, and do dinner! Although all the internalising doesn't do me much good!

Love to all, sorry for not name checking, I just needed to be here.
T xxxxx

Mouse good luck for tonight, they couldn't have anyone better.

I hope the pain has lessened, and Nemo's temperature goes down.

But, only do what you can. If you are worried about Nemo don't go to the school meeting, they will understand.

Look after yourself, because, then, you can look after your family.

T xxx

mouse well done on still low carbing. I have failed miserably and am putting the weight back on, needless to say.
However with awards dinners coming up I have bought not one, but two, posh frocks from a seller on Gumtree and if they don't fit I will maybe be inspired to get into them.
Can't wait until they arrive.....
Nothing else to report....

Don't forget the essential pull it all in, push up the norkage, underwear ma