The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Driving Through The Autumn Scenes, Searching For Our Sober Dreams.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse :) Welcome to the Bus, (aka Gerald ).

I'm one of the Brave Babes on board this fabulous Bus of travellers, all in search of their sobriety in one form or another.

We have those who drink in moderation, those who have a set pattern of days on and off the booze, and we have posters who have been sober for minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or years.

There are two lines that the Bus has painted down the side, one on each -

The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement and Alcohol Fosters Inertia

So, if you think you're drinking too much or you're worried about another person, then come find a seat.

We get through our days chatting about all sorts of things, life is, after all, full of plenty of things to fuel our desire to drink, and we're all very different people

However, our common goal is sobriety. :)

The Last Thread

The Reason We're Here - The First Thread

mouse don't worry about the people you are up against in the parent governor elections. At the end of the day its who the other parents think is the best candidate that counts. They are the voters.
I know who I would vote for. I am sure you are the best candidate and the parents that know you will surely realise this and vote for you.
If you don't win this time its because not enough parents know you well enough to realise you would make an excellent governor.
My daughter is a parent governor at her childrens school and is not a teacher or professional of any kind. She got in on her 3rd attempt, two previous attempts someone else won but she got there in the end.
So don't despair mouse do a bit of campaigning amongst the parents and if you don't win this time, try again. Fingers crossed and wishing you luckxxx

Morning, no drink last night but I was bloody tempted! Have made an appointment to see DS's form tutor tomorrow, I was spitting mad yesterday. There's no support for children at that school if they are struggling academically, they're just told to get on with it and shut up as far as I could gather from her yesterday. I'm upset with DS because he's acting up for certain teachers in the lessons he's struggling with so I'm also upset with the teachers for not recognising his difficulties despite several conversations already this year! The line the teachers take seems to be "if he can't do the work he will fall behind". And that's it...
He's year 8 and we're seriously considering moving or HEing him. The school has just become an academy, not long out of special measures too so they are very focused on results rather than pastoral care. Aargh....

Morning all, welcome Potter :)

Fingers crossed for you mouse, I agree that the teachers applying for the position aren't necessarily strong candidates. That's not to denigrate teachers, but they probably already have teachers who are parents on the PTA, whereas you bring a whole range of different experiences. I am amazed as to where you find the energy to take on all that you do though.

Well day 4 today and still have a bottle of wine rattling about in the boot of my car. I'm thinking about drinking more because it's there. I'm still along way from getting back to the person who had loads of wine in the cupboard for months without giving it a second thought.

Crabby Hi! Yes, we sometimes do take the dog for a walk, but Mr Ladame has been very busy through the summer, here and there like a BAF and he likes to come home to relax. I will think of something to change things up a bit. One of the things though is that he says to me 'well, just have one and then stop?' Aaarrgghhh, if I could just have one, I'd be the happiest Ladame in France.

Morning babes, just checking in. No alcohol since Friday but I do visit my cousin on Wednesday evenings and we open a bottle of red. We never open a 2nd one as she sips at her glass and so I end up doing the same. So tonight I will have 2 glasses of wine and leave it at that!

Posted too soon ... meant to add this is a huge difference from my other friend that I usually have a drink with. She has the same self-destruct button I have and we would drink all night with no stop button being pressed at all!

AA. Hmm. For me, it's been a life saver. The first day I walked in, hung over to the eyeballs, husband at the end of his tether, kids ashamed of me, a crying mess, they were so nice. they didn't judge, they just looked after me. So I went back, and they continued to be nice. Some tough love too, but NEVER judgmental. That was the big thing. And they GOT it. they GOT that I 'couldn't' stop, they had done all the shit I had ever done, and worse. And now we all laugh about it.

I thought they were a bunch of weirdos- what the hell did they have to be so happy about, and God? forget that. Now I know they are a bunch of weirdos, but they are MY weirdos.

As to God- well- not sure. A 'higher power' of some sort- yes, absolutely. I couldn't stop drinking by myself, but with this group of people- I have done. for a while anyway. So the whole '2 heads are better than one' is a force greater than myself. Like the bus. So there IS something outside me that is stronger than I am, and that's a higher power.

I am very lucky in that where I love there are multiple meetings a day. I usually go at 7am, and in the next town there is one at 7.30.

I don't think it's for everyone, but I love it. And it works. Take what you like, and leave the bullshit.

Sorry, long.

Thanks *Rural xxx :) That's a lovely post to me.

Dobbie - My DD's school has just done the same, changed to an academy and I know what you mean. You have to do what is best for HIM - both emotionally and from an educational point of view, which in itself is a tough call. x

Newbie - if it works for you then I want you to sing it from the rooftops! We're all so different aren't we? What works for you, won't work for me, or Ma and what works for Dame won't work for you or venus......

If it stops you picking up that poisonous pickling juice, then you go for it and I for one think AA is fantastic, not because I've every been, buut because for those that it does help to become and remain sober, is nothing short of fantastic. So do what works for YOU and share that.

Who knows who is reading this? That one reader may think - 'I really need help, I'm going to call AA/my GP/my local Alcohol Support Team etc............. or even post. x

Tanya - well done you! Weekends are always tougher imo. :) x

Right, off to my very first acupuncture

Be back later. Stay strong Babes !!! xxx

Hello All
Welcome to all the new people. Stick around, this bus helps. Sorry to not name check everyone. I'm hopeless at keeping up, but I read and admire and am very grateful to everyone who writes here. I also know how nice it is when people take the time and effort to thank me or mention me personally so I should really get my shit together.

I have just come back from an AA meeting. It was great. I am now full of intentions to go to a few more this week. I was a real battle field today wanting to drink and that 90 minutes has sorted that out for me. Now I feel stronger and more resolved again.

I did get a prescription for Antabuse from my GP. Whether I use it on Monday or not I'm undecided, but I have it. I think I may use it just to shut those voices up. I know if I drink of Monday then I will drink on Tuesday. And then probably find a reason to drink on Wednesday and undo all this fucking hard slog of 3 weeks sober.

Life is much smoother, simpler and clearer when I'm not drinking. I can't go back to those daily hangovers and blackouts and guilt (and more shit than I care to think about).

Take care Brave Babes
Soc xxxx

Soc - there are other babes who have taken Antabuse on the Bus, and AFAIK, they did well with it.

You know that you are right, if you drink today (or tomorrow, whenever) then the next day will follow suit because it'll be the whole - 'fuck it, I've started so I'll finish and now it's weekend so I'll stop on Monday....' and then you won't.

So, read all about it on the info leaflet inside the box, rather than the scarefest that is Google! Then see if you want to take it, see how you feel both mentally and physically on it lovely Soc.

I think Silver took it (and may still do) and I know that at least one other Babe begged their GPs for themselves but had to wait.

You sound ready to take it or at least ready to stop with the drinking pattern you had/have etc. Good on you!! xxx

Babes Keep your fingers crossed for me - MIGHT HAVE A JOB!! A proper smart clothes 'n' briefcase type of a job. I'm very hopeful because the boss has asked for me personally because I've met him, we just have to check there's no conflict of interest with Mr Ladame's business and I'll know in a couple of days. They are so difficult to find here, so I am really excited.

I'm almost 3 weeks AF and it has been great, I recommand the book by Jason Vale : Kick the drink..easily..it really helped me.I think soc is reading it too.

I've done four weeks AF/healthy eating now and lost 4lb and it's been so easy. I think it's because I made that decision not to drink for 7 weeks.

I don't drink much anyway, so I'm used to going a couple of weeks but knowing for sure that I'm not drinking just makes it easier to stick to

But, the most unexpected outcome is this: I would be perfectly happy to never drink again. I don't miss it, I don't want it. It holds no power over me.

It used to drive me to the shops almost every day. It used to make me spend my money and suffer horrendous hangovers. I thought I couldn't live without it. I thought I needed it. I was scared of a life without alcohol.

Now, I don't even want it. How about that? Pretty amazing eh?

mouse how did your acupuncture go? I've had some, and found it very helpful for pain relief.

ladame my DH says the same to me - “just have one!" - they really don't get it, do they?!

Some things I've found helpful: I only drink wine, so as long as he sticks to beer or whisky, I don't get too jealous. I ask him to be discreet about it though.

Also if I'm planning to have a drink, I make sure there is only in the house the maximum I can drink at a time (for me, 500ml of wine) I don't know how hard it is to buy smaller bottles in France, but basically I try to limit the amount that is available to me.

Ps. Good luck with the job!

Faire that is a fantastic outcome, you sound so happy and in control of everything. Relish the freedom, I know I would x

Soc you are so pro-active, it seems when the wobbles come you get yourself off to AA and when you think there maybe danger ahead you prepare some battle armour. Whether you take it or not, you have the mental support of knowing you can. I admire your grit. Have you got anything lined up for your child free days?

Ladame bon chance! Sounds fantastic and a briefcase too, magnifique!

Now, because I am on my phone, I can't scroll back and remember the other posts. Oh, apart from Why who I hope has a big cuddle and inhale of her baby sons head today. Keep going, you continue to be a massive inspiration xx

All other posters, you are all giving me more than you know. Take care of yourselves.

Sorry alias, it took me so long to write my post I missed yours. I had also wondered about the smaller bottles of wine for ladame.

Dame - EVERYTHING crossable is crossed for you :) xxx

Joey - it fucking HURTS! I have no relief as yet but she did say that's not uncommon. My spine feels 'ground' if that makes sense?

She couldn't get the needles into the muscles because they were too tight and in spasm so it took her a while.

Sorry to post and dash but I am actually going out, with adults, to a pub for some food, without a child, or a husband either (which is never an issue for either of them to be there, I'll miss them but don't say a word! )

Will try to pop back on when I get in, love to all, stay strong and focused, it's mid-week, that sneaky Wine Bitch Witch will be getting her ass kicking gear on round about now..... don't let it be YOU xxx

Sorry just to jump in but just to say to mouse i have had acupuncture a few times. Heard great things and recommendations for my practitioner BUT I didn't get it, i'm not a baby with needles and I'm all for alternative therapies but I didn't see any benefits and didn't enjoy the sessions. Lots of people would say otherwise though! I hope it helps you.

Not as bad as colonic irrigation though, that really wasn't an hour i'd want to repeat!

Just checking in.
mouse hope you are having/had a lovely evening.
Ladame my fingers are crossed for you. Sounds a great opportunityxx
Well I won the battle with the WW for today. Phew! it was a close call today. DAY7 done.

That's great isinde be proud for not opening that bottle. Good decision, sleep well x

Well done rural! X

Thanks Jesse
Well done isinde a nice clear head in the morning is a great feeling

Thank you mouse. You made me all tearful last night. You’re amazing. You’ve been supporting these threads for years and I can’t imagine how many people you have helped and touched in some way. Even all the way down here in wet cold Australia. Thank you for being around. Hope you feel better soon.

isinde totally get that about buying the bottle. I always make sure there is more than enough to get hammered on before I start drinking. Daft…other people would just drink with dinner (or whatever) and then leave it at that. I have this huge urge to get totally shit faced each time. But well done for not opening that bottle. I don’t think I would have managed.

Thanks beach I’ve reached a point where I really want to, and have to, give up. I don’t mind the odd bender or so, but it never stops there with me. I know that if I have a drink on Monday, I will probably write the rest of the week off and then I have to start again….not sure I have the strength to start from scratch. And I LOVE opal fruits so beware. Although last night on my way home from AA I filled up with petrol and bought not less than 4 slabs of chocolate (big ones). That should see me through today.

alias I’m the same. There is alcohol in the house and I’m not tempted. As long as it’s not white wine (or champagne) I can avoid it. Different if I start drinking, then I’ll drink everything and anything. My husband likes red wine (he’ll have one or two glasses – if he’s having a wild night he may stretch it to three) so there is often red wine open in the house, and it really does nothing to me, but put a bottle of white wine in the fridge and I turn into some kind of demented demonic creature who cannot possible survive another minute without it.

fair that’s awesome. I can’t wait to be just like you. Seriously, I am looking forward to when this constant chatter quietens down in my head. It’s a bit all consuming. But apparently it does eventually become much less and you don’t think about drinking quite so much.

Rat, yes I’m reading that book. It’s amazing. As is The Sober Revolution. I have them both on my kindle and dip into them often. It all helps.

Ladame good luck with the job!

Newbie I know what you mean about weirdo’s. I was sitting in AA last night thinking they’re mad as a bunch of frogs (this particular group more than any other) but it’s kind of appealing. One of the difficult things about giving up drinking for me has been that I’ve always rather liked that ‘dark dingy side’. But I’m beginning to realise that you can still be weird and funny and odd WITHOUT being drunk. Well, they certainly were last night. Made me feel right at home. With weak tea and cheap chocolates.

And all the other babes, well done, good luck and stick around. I’ve got to go and get breakfast for my kids and start another day. xxxxx

Morning all! Went to book group last night, and did actually have a small glass of wine due to a sudden reluctance to explain why not. But stuck at that for the night, so I'm counting that as a win.

Tonight I was always planning to drink, but I'm starting to think it over, and I could do with advice?

Thursday nights have always been my 'me' night - DH goes out, I buy nice cheese and some smoked salmon and yummy nibbly things and have a good bottle of wine and quality TV. And all of those elements feel very intertwined. I kind of find TV (even really good drama) a bit boring without wine, I can't get lost in it.

So I feel like, without the nibbles and the wine and the TV, I don't know how to make it a treat night. Bubble baths and chocolates and trashy mags don't do it for me at ALL. Clearly I need to break the "wine = reward/treat" nexus, but I'm struggling to come up with good substitutes.

On the bright side, I've lost 1.5lbs this week!

I have no advice on how to break the wine as reward cycle. For me, I just know that while I thought I was rewarding myself, I was actually punishing myself AND harming those around me. But I was miserable while I drank anyway.
Good luck with tomorrow.