Can't believe he's doing this!

[AuchAyethenoo]

I posted a last week about some financial issues I'm having with my dp, basically he works full time on a decent wage, I receive CTC, cb and maintenance for my eldest dc. I pay half of all the bills, mortgage etc plus buy all of the food and all of the children's clothes, activities etc, etc. This has, of course, caused major stress for me to the point that my mum takes me food shopping just to ensure we have food in the house for my children.

Yesterday he comes home telling me he has just found out his brother (9 years old) has rattled up a £700 bill on his x-box on his mothers credit card. That she has no money at all now. MIL is on benefits, I suggested she could contact DWP to apply for a loan for food and essentials and perhaps speak to her sons father to arrange buying food for them.

I've now found out that dp has given his mum about £300. I don't grudge his mum help for food, but what I am struggling with is that he has no issue giving his mum money but never has any to give to me for our children.

I hope you're ok,be careful.

Good luck OP.

Thinking of you, Auch. Hope you're OK.

Auch if you're afraid do not hesitate to dial 999, keep safe.

I'm in Bucks if you need anything PM me.
We are all worried for you but don't update unless it's safe to do so!
Thinking of you at such a nightmare time for you.

Also agree with 999!
If he intimidating you and not allowing you to leave - call them and don't hesitate to do so!

Reading this from the other side of the world as I put my baby to bed.

Auch you sound like such a strong person and mother. I don't have anything to add to the words of wisdom all these people have already given you. Just hoping you are safe. I agree with those who have said get out as soon as he is gone. This may sound paranoid but I would also make sure he's well and truly gone... Call him at work or something.

Anything you don't have time to photocopy just snap a photo instead.

I read both your threads. The level of abuse you have suffered is just astonishing- I'm so sorry. Please stay safe. Act completely normal and keep strong.

Stay strong and safe auch you'll do this, we're all here to support you

Just read this thread my hearts hurting for you and your kids Auch but be strong we're all here with you!

If you feel intimidated, threatened or in danger don't hesitate to call the police. Thinking of you auch keep safe

I remember your last thread OP and I am so glad you are leaving. I didn't want to post and say LTB last time but I couldn't help feeling you would actually be financially and emotionally so much better off if you did.

Good luck with it all, you will be better off for leaving IMO.

Keep checking this thread and hoping for some good news. Thinking of you OP, have been reading this, and last, thread from the beginning. hope you are OK

Ive been following this thread too. He is appallingly financially and emotionally abusive.
Hugs and support OP You and DC will be better off away from this bastard. x

Thinking of you OP. Keep safe, have your phone nearby at all times.

Just skimmed this thread.. Hoping the op is ok

Another hoping op is ok. I am in midlands if I can do anything at all to help.

You have been in my thoughts today Auch. Hope you are safe.

Fucking hell op this is awful- where does he think you get any money from.

I am dumbstruck! However you won't necessarily get nothing out the house if you can prove you've contributed and you need to be housed especially with the children. He may find he needs to wait until your you gets is 18!!!

Please go to CAB and get some legal advice and post on here here under legal and some family lawyers may come along who can be a bit more help.

I feel really sorry for you to be in this predicament but he will only get worse. I had a tight ex boyfriend (thankfully no kids) who earnt about double what I did and financially abused over the years..... You feel shit, but honestly you are not in the wrong here and hopefully you'll see that in time.

As for food I'd buy enough to feed you and the children and let him fucking starve

Worried for you OP. Keep safe.

Me too. Very worried, hope things are ok.

Hope you're out. See the council. Get housed. It sounds like you don't have a job so you'll have rent and council tax paid. Receive child benefit, child tax credits and income support (job seekers if your kids are of school age). You'll also get 15% of his wages for one child, 20% for 2 and 25% for three or more. CSA payments won't effect your other benefits either. You'll be so much better off financially.

That aside, (and I'm not one to throw around the word abuse), this man is a complete tossarse. Putting you aside, not adequately clothing your children when you can is definitely abuse. You and your DC will have happier lives once you've made the break.

Any updates?

Op I really hope things are ok and Im glad for you that you have made the decisions to change things for you and your DC future.

thinking of you my lovely> Hope you are ok

Me too Auch - whatever is going on wishing you the best.