Can't believe he's doing this!

[AuchAyethenoo]

I posted a last week about some financial issues I'm having with my dp, basically he works full time on a decent wage, I receive CTC, cb and maintenance for my eldest dc. I pay half of all the bills, mortgage etc plus buy all of the food and all of the children's clothes, activities etc, etc. This has, of course, caused major stress for me to the point that my mum takes me food shopping just to ensure we have food in the house for my children.

Yesterday he comes home telling me he has just found out his brother (9 years old) has rattled up a £700 bill on his x-box on his mothers credit card. That she has no money at all now. MIL is on benefits, I suggested she could contact DWP to apply for a loan for food and essentials and perhaps speak to her sons father to arrange buying food for them.

I've now found out that dp has given his mum about £300. I don't grudge his mum help for food, but what I am struggling with is that he has no issue giving his mum money but never has any to give to me for our children.

Well done OP, you're dealing with all of this brilliantly, your DCs will be very proud of you!

well done op. I did lurk on your last thread and was hoping you had progressed the issue.

I know you were advised to last time, but I would also call ctc asap and get the money changed so that it is swapped to your account.

He sounds horrendous. Do his parents know he treats you and the children like this?

Wow op I am so pleased; I really thought this was goi g to end like tge other threads, but you e got there, that moment where you know you have to change things.

I've read both of your threads and have been appalled by the callousness and selfishness of this man. I am so glad you are taking positive steps to make a better life for yourself. Onwards and upwards..! :)

Won't you have some sort of claim on the proceeds of a house sale? Good luck with everything.

How's it going Auch?
I hope you got some sleep and ready to push through today.
Let us know you are OK.
I do fear for your safety with this man!

You've had great advice and I know it's hard to believe but this man IS abusive, he sounds just like my ex, who was, I thought till I read this, the biggest twat out there. However he provided for his dc, every season they were taken out and completely kitted out from head to toe at Gap. It was just me that he wouldn't provide for despite insisting that dc needed me at home, I was in years old clothes while he and the dc looked immaculate. Do you think that sounds bad OP? Well think how much worse YOUR situation is. I hope you are continuing with your plans.

I read your thread with my heart in my mouth, beating up a storm. He is truly awful.

You are definitely being abused.
Your situation is urgent.
Your children are being abused.

I don't have words to describe how appalling he is.

I bloody knew the bastard was taking loads more off you for the mortgage. What a wanker he is.

He's financially abusing you. This is very sad, as I've had my moments with my h about things liked this.

Hope you can find a way out, and quick.

Have been thinking about you Auch - hope you're okay(ish) today.

I'm so glad you're getting some support now from WA. Your situation sounds dreadful I can't offer any better advice than what you have already had on here but I just wanted to link you to this thread about water torture. I'd never heard of this before but I read it on here the other day and lots of posters were surprised to suddenly feel like they understood what had been happening to them. I wondered if it might resonate with you too. Water torture seems to be such a subtle form of abuse that victims have no idea what is happening to them. I hope it might make you feel more confident to read of other women in similar situations, although to be honest, your partner sounds fairly blatant to me. I really wish you well op, you sound so lovely.

Extremely difficult day, he's been on my back and over my shoulder all day. Will try to get a minute to up date once he's at football.

have you proof of the £700 Xbox thing?. I'm asking as it would take a lot of transactions to rack up that sort if debt in one month before noticing it on the next bill.

sorry ignore my last post it's pretty trivial now!

Is he suspecting he is about to lose his meal ticket? Don't be fooled if he starts being 'super nice' to you. It's an act.

Good luck

'Extremely difficult day, he's been on my back and over my shoulder all day. Will try to get a minute to up date once he's at football.'

Because he realises his little game of abusing you is up and you've sussed him out. He'll watch you like a hawk and play nicey nice, then probably get angry. He is a classic abuser.

Be careful, Auch. Not wanting to scare you, but this is a dangerous time if he has sussed that you are seeing him more clearly. Smile and nod, smile and nod.

Hope things went well with CAB.

He didn't go to football. I think he suspects something's up. I moved mine and dc passports, freaking out that he's noticed. Fuck!

He will have suspected something. Plan your steps. Good luck!

I am in Angus, if you need any help, give me a shout.

Be very careful!!

Can you leave tomorrow whilst he is at work? Get the basics together and get out. Material/sentimental items are hard to leave I'm sure but nothing is as important as your safety.

You mean you have a spring in your step?... twats usually notice that when they've trodden their OH down. :(

Don't freak out.. he may just have a twinkle. Act as normally as you can and make sure you log out of here when you're done.

Wipe your browsing history too. Nc if need be.

I'm in the West Coast.

I'd leave whilst he was out.

i hope you are ok, glad you are making steps