Husband grumpy with me.

[KiteSurfer]

Last night we were going to the cinema, I got changed but didn't make a special effort as to me it was just a film & not a big night out, iyswim.
H got in a massive strop 'cause I'd apparently spent 1hr 45mins the night before to go to a work meeting with my work colleagues.
Now he's right, I did take that long - because I washed my hair (needed doing) & so last night when I was going out with him, it didn't need doing.

He says I didn't want to go out with him (we rarely go out, something I'm trying to remedy), by the way I made such little effort!

Is he crazy or what?

He was unreasonable

Sounds like he's looking for a fight.

Yes, he's unreasonable. What is he insecure about because if it is you working then that's really no good at all...

So he wanted you to spend nearly 2 hours getting glammed up to sit in a dark room where no-one can see what you look like anyway?
You know YANBU!!! But he is!

He's mad as a chicken

I go to the cinema in my slippers sometimes (sheepskin boots)

Clearly he has an 'I'm coming second, you don't care about or prioritise me issue'

I suppose he didn't consider that you didn't do your hair on your evening out because you wanted to spend more time with him rather than with the hairdryer?

did he make an effort?

How long did he spend getting himself ready for you?

and yes it does sound like he is looking for an argument. Ridiculous thing to say!

How much time did he spend getting ready?

This kind of thing is in LTB territory for me.

He thinks he gets to decide how much time you should spend on your appearance?

He had a quick shower & change of clothes. Pity he doesn't put clean undies & socks on after his shower EVERY say!
Who on earth wears the same pair of socks & undies all week but has a shower every day??

Ewwww, point that out to him!

meant to add

cheeky bastard!

Sounds like he suspects you've got your eye on a work colleague and he's jealous.

I think you're right Thumb it's been a rocky marriage from Day1 and maybe it's occurred to him that I might just be getting to my limit and that I might leave.

"Who on earth wears the same pair of socks & undies all week"
So he doesn't make any effort at all ever? (In fact makes an anti-effort). But expects you to spend hours getting ready to go to cinema?

There is something else going on here isn't there OP?

Does he usually time you when you are getting ready?

Puts the same undies on after showering? That is gross. Does he only possess one set or something? He needs to buy some more immediately.

That's rank

He puts dirty keks back on after he has a shower?

DH can get a bit twitchy about that kind of thing, obviously thinks I work with lots of eligible men who are desperate to run away with me :)

Clearly I'm the only one who sees where he's coming from (not that I necessarily agree!). All he can see is that you took longer last night to get ready, so you "cared more" about what they thought. Because you didn't take too long tonight you clearly didn't care as much. I think he just sees it that he deserves as much "effort" as anyone you work with and he wants you to make that much effort for him. And if you don't try as hard for him, it shows to him that you care less about his opinion than you do about your work colleagues options. You have done NOTHING WRONG, but your DP just wants some reassurance!

DropYourSword meanwhile he makes no effort/places no importance re his own basic personal hygiene, which therefore tells me he's just using the time difference to pick a fight.

Yeah, someone who puts on dirty knicks after a shower doesn't get to criticise how much effort anybody else is making.

You could point out to him that the people you went out with the night before wore clean undercrackers?

I'd be tempted to remark "at least I change my undies after every shower" and then leave him to stew.

That is probably just me though.

It's not just you. :o