Dating Thread 63- disappearers, wedding bells and dodgy eye candy, all are welcome

[hostesswithleastest]

Oops that title may have put off newcomers :D

Anyway.... the old thread is dead long live the new!

Oh Ike2kool4skool how very, very lovely to see you here !

Well Hi there, lovely to hear from you but .

Ike!

And I won't be Facebooking I'm afraid, I like MN because it's a supportive safe space where I can be anonymous and get advice without friends telling me what I want to hear. Shame MNHQ decided to ruin that.

I asked MN to come back to the thread to explain exactly how Bant's perfectly reasonable (and restrained) post broke guidelines. I think it'll be a long wait .

Ike, lovely to "see" you again, albeit briefly . . .

Hiya Ike Lovely to hear from you. Shame its to do with another banning. Something very weird here.

Long time lurker (was wolfandi in a previous incarnation). Quite agree with all the regulars - utterly incomprehensible decision.This thread has been a godsend to me, helping me to have some perspective on the oddities of online dating. It'll be a huge loss not to have this.

If anyone is happy to allow me to join the FB thread, please PM me. I'll understand if no one does given that I'm a scaredy cat lurker..!

Going out. No internet. Catch up with you all tomorrow on FB. Hopefully!

x

Actually, know what? In the interests of democracy and given the very limited information/explanation from MNHQ, could people who support bant being banned, just post that they do? No come-back. No judgement. :-) and with the understanding that the popular will of the masses isn't necessarily the right thing...it would be interesting to see if anyone supports MNHQ on this. I appreciate we're not a democracy and you technically own our souls with regard to what we post... But it would be 'nice' if the ban decision got some back up.

So you don't look quite so isolated...

Well if this does fold I just wanted to say thanks, not been posting long but ppl have been very helpful and kind x

givesyouhell pm'd you. :)

Ike! Mwah.

Would be happy to be fb friends with any of you, but I can't remember who's on there. Feel free to PM me.

Likewise. I need an FB/MN spreadsheet.

I'm not in favour of the bans or warnings, by the way. From what I can see, certain posters don't like the opinions of others, and complain bitterly (and with personal attacks) when they are posted. It upsets me that these personal attacks are not apparently responded to, whereas the reactions they provoke are.

Double standards from MNHQ in my view, which is a shame. I assume it's because they can only investigate those posts which are reported.

Read both threads last night and WTF, outrageous, banning for that!! Christ we are adults not 2 year olds. Was starting to become a bit of a Mumsnet addict - think this has solved that, shocking treatment of Bant (and DJ Ike)

Interestingly, I've reported several posts of Watch's on recent threads today and have had no response from MNHQ.

Also interestingly, here's an excerpt from the warning I got from MNHQ.

^[your post] was reported as a comment about watchoutforthatsnail. It's not in the spirit of the site to comment about other posters when they're not around to defend themselves. If we see you doing this sort of thing again, we may have to take further action.

We understand you weren't the only one of that thread behaving this way, and please rest assured we treat everyone equally.^

Bollocks. There's no equality of treatment here. How can someone be banned for making a general comment that some people don't take criticism well and the best tactic is not to engage, whilst other people make deeply unpleasant comments on a regular basis and yet are free to post more of this crap whenever the fancy takes them?

There is no parity of treatment here. There has been disgraceful behaviour on this thread, but it's not come from me or Bant. It's come from MNHQ.

Shame on you.

Hear hear OWW, ill-judged, partisan and disgraceful behaviour from MNHQ.

Thank you Snape! My phone won't allow you to PM you back, but I've added you on FB.

Noooo....I don't support Bants ban. Or other past bans around the same...err...issues.

All appears most unbalanced and poorly judged.

Greetings to all from Northern climes.
Just delurking to agree with OWW. Absolutely shite moderating standards on this site at present and their "We treat everyone equally" mantra is just complete bilge.

I love the word bilge. It is onomatopoeic

@BringBackBant

MNHQ - I am truly struggling to see why a remark about not engaging with an unnamed thread started by an unnamed poster - in response to a remark made by someone else - manages to break any guidelines, let alone earn a deletion/ban.

The deleted comment wasn't purely about not engaging; it did also contain a veiled personal attack.

And (we hope you all know) personal attacks on identifiable posters break Guidelines, whether the poster in question is on the thread or not.

Again - we do see that you're angry and disappointed about this - and we're genuinely sorry that so many of you think we've taken the wrong decision. We didn't do it lightly. But ultimately, we have to suspend people who cannot abide by our rules - otherwise there's really no point in having them.

We know that there is history here; over the past few months we've contacted quite a few posters (past and present) associated with this thread to remind them of our posting rules, and in some cases to take further steps.

That said, if there's something you think we're not aware of, we'd really like you to let us know about it. (Thanks to those of you who've done that already.)

Long time lurker and sometime poster (from threads ranging from 1 to 45 I think). Completely agree with the bullying comments (and I'm sure this will get deleted also), and very disappointed the MNHQ don't appear to be treating people equally.

It has been great to read Bant's male perspective on things, and I do wonder whether the response would have been the same if it was MsBant posting.

Happy to add people on FB if you don't mind a lurker joining in

And congratulations to 49, Snameless and OWW (and I think I may be joining you but that's another story)

Just delurking to say WTAF!

Other posters have made such appalling attacks on here (especially one to do with mental health ages ago) that I literally gasped in shock at the utter vindictive, bullying and spite (and I do not shock easily).

Bant made a comment that barely raised an eyebrow and has been banned.

Is this a joke? I cannot actually believe this.

@Flipper934

I'm not in favour of the bans or warnings, by the way. From what I can see, certain posters don't like the opinions of others, and complain bitterly (and with personal attacks) when they are posted. It upsets me that these personal attacks are not apparently responded to, whereas the reactions they provoke are.

Double standards from MNHQ in my view, which is a shame. I assume it's because they can only investigate those posts which are reported.

This is an important point actually: we do really need MNers to report anything they want us to look into. If you think someone is repeatedly posting personal attacks, please report them to us; we won't necessarily find out about it otherwise.