The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Travelling Far And Wide, With Sobriety In Mind.

[Mouseface]

Welcome to the Bus one and all! I'm Mouse, one of the Brave Babes :)

We have a new line that we're taking with us on every journey, thanks to one of our wonderful Babes, Curry -

Alcohol Fosters Inertia.

So when you're drinking excessively, nothing changes, or improves, the sharp edges of our lives just becomes that little bit less in focus, blurred and all you feel is numb. Then like shit (emotionally, as well as physically) if you're honest! Who wants that?

You are only ever better/pacified/happy whilst the alcohol is in your system. And that doesn't last........... it's not a cure, it's a quick fix. A sticking plaster.

So, if you think you're drinking too much, and want some friendly advice, or just to come and have a chat, get to know others who are just like you, who won't judge or criticise you, then hop on board! :)

We're a really mixed bunch and all at different stages of our journey to find sobriety or certainly drinking in a more controlled, less dangerous way.

And, if you'd like to see where we've been so far, have a look at the links below :)

LAST THREAD

THE STARTING POINT AND WHY WE'RE ALL HERE

isinde good on yer for posting on the Bus instead of going back down to the bar. Baby steps, okay?

I ate the whole big bar of chocolate but not touched the red wine!

Hi everyone, big warm welcome to our newbies, will catch up properly tomorrow. I'm going to bed with total relief at being sober, I was petrified that my unforeseen weekend binge would take me back to square1 but it has strengthened my desire to stay sober, I hated being drunk and hated the aftermath, it has frightened me beyond belief. I don't honestly know if I drink to reward myself or punish, I don't sip wine I gulp it, I dont eat and all my new pampering routines are absndoned, this can't be enriching my life in any way . The truth is I am petrified of drinking and I'm petrified of not drinking, of seeing my rather insignificant and disappointing life without wine goggles. I love this bus, I have felt like I belong somewhere and feel less scared because i know every of you wonderful people travel the lonely road with me, I thank my lucky stars for you all, that's you too inside we need each other and we will get through our fears at what lies ahead TOGETHER, xxx

Saw my little boy today. When our time was up and I had to give him back, I cried so hard and for so long that they told me if I didn't stop, they would put me in a psych ward for 72 hours.

What is wrong with people? Going to an AA meeting now.

Who told you that why? That is outrageous

You are doing so well, we are all so proud of you. Each day, each minute is a step towards your goal. You'll get there, we are all linking arms and walking along with you.

(((hugs)))

Sleep well babes, time for me to turn in x

SS did. I got on to my lawyer about it. She's having words with them tomorrow morning.

Day 13- sober.

And tomorrow is another day.

Major wobble down here. Think I might go to an AA meeting tonight. I really need to get some more weeks dry under my belt.
Two weeks feels like it's nothing and also like it's been a life time.
Sigh.

Okay I'm starting day 1, I really need to get through today, just to show myself I can do it. I declined going out to lunch with dp as I knew I would not be able to resist. I will have to learn onday to go out and not drink, but today is not the day.

I cant wait to report back later and say that Ive done it. wish me luck. I feel a bit sweaty and shaky already.

SocFish You have been an inspiration to me over the last couple of weeks, it may feel like nothing to you, but its the start of your (and my) new life. We will get wobbles surely? We need to dust ourselves off and continue. Whats AA like? Im intrigued.

Incider

AA is like this! You turn up at the venue, usually easily identified by a few people smoking outside the door!

In the car park there will be a mix of battered old cars, bikes and gleaming 4x4s.

There will be tea and coffee and cake/biscuits! The meeting has a secretary who gets things going and then some people may introduce themselves. If you do not want to that's fine!

Then someone who has been invited will share their story for about 20 mins. Look for the similarities in their story, not the differences!

Then anyone who wishes to 'share' can. Whether about their drinking or the crap week they are having.

Around here meetings last about 75 mins. There is such a mix of people and a lot of women round here. I know Barristers to Jailbirds.

Have great days everyone. Keep strong.

Can I ask for some advice? I have a couple of inches left in the Gin Bottle. Do I throw it away and thus have no temptation or do I keep the remaning bit for when if I have a wobble and only a little bit is availible, eitherwise I'd get a whole new bottle of it . . . iyswim?

InCider thanks for your compliment. I felt very shakey and sweaty for the first few days.

Throw the gin away. And don't think of whether you'll be buying another one or not. Just get rid of it.

I went out and bought chocolate and that's helped a bit.

I've only being to one AA meeting and it was exactly how myfriendbill described it. I left feeling good, but still unsure. However, someone said to me that I need to keep going and eventually it will become obvious why AA works so well. Gorgeous people who all understand so I suppose it's like a safe place where we all have the same problem. A bit like the bus, but in RL.

I'm just going to focus on getting through today. I was thinking about the fact that I wake up feeling happy rather than guilty, and also that I don't have to feel that awful anxiety about what did I do or say. Who did I contact on Facebook or call. Hated having to go and see the damage I did or look on my phone and see that I spoke to someone but have no recollection. Or that I've spoken to my mother for 15 minutes on Skype and don't remember a word of the conversation. And then having to try and remember where I hid the bottles from the night before so I can put them in the car and then dispose of them.

Pretty grim stuff. Sobriety is sooooo much nicer.

fuck off wobble. I'm not interested.
xxxxx

I would say chuck it! But if you'd asked me a few months ago I would have said keep it. Not very helpful I know.

Do a lot of people on here go on to soberistas.com? Quite a good website and forum.

The thing about keeping the gin is that it may trigger a taste for it and the next thing you are at the shop buying more. In my earlier days I would have just drank it.

I'm posting this morning as it's my first day back at work post-binge, and I feel anxious and can't stop crying. I just need to get on with it, but nice to check in here and be able to share.

why I saw your story before I started to post and my heart goes out to you. I know things will get better for you, well done for being strong.

isinde inspiration comes in many forms, I find hearing from people who can relate helps and boy could I relate to taking that last glass back to the room with you! Been there, well done for not going back down.

myfriendbill thanks for telling us a bit about the meeting. I think my fear is around feeling like I don't belong. Sounds like it takes all sorts though.

Ah yes, the guilt. The looking at the phone and thinking who did I phone, who did I text? I would blame everything and everyone for me drinking.

The fact is, for me, I am an alkie. Sometimes I think I could easily have a drink, just one. No one would,know, bla bla bla.

Then I look back to buying a box of wine and polishing the whole lot off in one go......

unhappy
Try and leave work a little earlier if you can. Every day gets better. The anxiety can be terrible.

Someone asked about whether AA is for binge drinkers. AA is for anyone worried about their drinking. Its all to do with what our drinking does, and where it takes us.

As mouse was saying its the Yets. I haven't been sacked. Yet. I haven't lost my marriage. Yet.

And so on.

Just checking in,
Got through day one.
Have to rush so sorry not to name check , will just say couldn't have done it without all you lovely babes on the bus.
Thank you all for getting me through day one.
I will not be drinking today.

unhappytimes hope you're feeling ok. I cried so much in the beginning. You really feel off kilter. But it gets much better.

ruralreynard good luck with day 1.

Almost through another day. Does this ever just go away??

Morning babes, old and new. Just wishing day oners all the luck in the world - you absolutely can do this! It's just one day, 12 more hours or so till bedtime - dig deep.

Be kind to yourself, you are worth it. xx

Hello all. I am sneaking back on. Not been here for 18months or so. Was doing so well. Its all gone tits up again. Off to the bottle bank to hopefully get a clean slate and try again My life has spiralled out of control and I don't actually know where to turn now.

horribletruth hello. The bus is a good start. xx

Welcome Unhappy and InCider, also to you horrible .

Day 9 for me today and that has happened largely because of the bus. Having a place to check in where I can read about other people's feelings and stories and share some of mine gives me some well needed company on this struggle. I am feeling really flat and crap today to be honest but at least it is not laced with the usual guilt.

Guggen it sounds like you have had a really tough few days, visiting someone near the end of their life is very emotional.

To all other babes, whether day 1 or day 101, be kind to yourselves. xx

Day three today. Think I might adopt ladames system as I never intended to completely stop, just stop the daily drinking. I'd like to get to the point where af days are the norm and not something I'm so consciously aware of. I don't want to be thinking day one, day two, day three, wine o'clock...if the control was that forced then I'd probably not really be in control. Not sure that makes sense.

Baby just wanted to say glad you are pn the onwards and upwards. I've always been so impressed by your posts - one slip up and you always seem to come back stronger than ever. I recall you said something about disappointing your family. Can I just say as someone who lives with someone with an addiction it's not the slippups that hurt and disappoint. It's when they lie, deceive, don't try, that's when you really feel let down. Not when your partner is simply human x

going off on a tangent I've been thinking about how alcohol is addictive, but that's something I've only ever been vaguely aware off. When I was growing up there was the stereotypical image of an alcoholic, the drunk with the paper bag, sue ellen in dallas, but they were the extremes. Alcohol has always been pushed on me like it's not harmful. Yet no one would ever say 'oh have some heroin, we're toasting the bride and groom'. With everything else that's known to be physically addictive your not encouraged to take it, and if you did you wouldn't be expected to take it or leave it. Becoming addicted would be expected.

Sorry not to name check, and for the rambling post. On my phone and can't read back

Hi to unhappy and cider to Guggs and Annie

Inde If this bus was just full of success stories my friend, I wouldn't be able to tell you all that I am failing miserably this week. I'm feeling lonely now without dd and my resistance is low

Hi to all the newcomers. It does get easier, so don't give up on day 1.

SocFish try an AA meeting. I don't know why it works, but it does. I guess seeing other sober people who are happy helps you to realize that you are not condemned to a sad, boring life sober, but to a different life free of guilt and shame and days free to organize yourself, your thoughts and your actions around what you want to do rather than alcohol. And not to be the new member spouting AA platitudes, but AA makes a distinction between 'sober' and 'dry'. Not drinking, without a framework is great if you can manage it (going dry), but some people looking to go long term need help to remain 'sober'. I am one of those people who has no problem stopping drinking, I need the help of AA to remain sober. And that's why I'm sticking with it.

There are old timers there, there are women there, there are young and old, taxi drivers and bankers. The whole lot of us are there to help each other stay sober. And don't worry about speaking at the meeting if you don't want, members will come up and talk to you privately. I'm two weeks in AA, and it's enough for me just to go to my meetings daily and not pick up a drink. The steps will come to me in time.

Good luck to all. Today is a good day. And today is a sober day.

Yes! I made it through day 1. This is the first day without a drink for many months. I had to dodge wine at lunch, would have been a couple of glasses, a can of beer someone offered me and I ve also not been at the Gin. So pleased with myself. I think its the 'novelty' of it thats got me through today, tomorrow will be a different story. Feel Great though - yay me! Thanks for the great welcome everyone.

Must stay strong, must stay strong . ..