At what point do you think:
'Regardless of the fact that I'm still fit and well, that these are my grandchildren, that my own child could clearly use a small bit of help here, that it's only a few days out of many I now have free...no actually...I'm too tired/it's never possible for x,y,z, reasons. Because the bottom line is that this just isn't something I want to put myself out for.' ?
Gawd I hope to god I don't go don't go down that route in my 60's health permitting.
My own mother would be aghast to see it put that way. She adores my dc and is a lovely grandma. But they never ever stay over and I admit I really could have used that help esp when they were a bit younger. It wasn't forthcoming and yes I suck it up nicely.
Absolutely my dc, my problem etc. Any sleepover would primarily have benefitted me it's true, but if my own dc become adults who are beyond knackered with three dc under three and need a rest I'd like to think I'd step in.
But from the age of her being 54-> when she became a grandmother (not so much older than I am now incidentally) my dc have never done sleepovers with her. We never mention it because she likes to be seen as a very hands on grandparent and I pave the way to make it look like she is. It's easier all round to collude with her on her ideal of herself, to allow her to essentially cherry pick the bits she wants. That's probably the perogative of a gp after all.
But the truth is, yes to myself (and I'd never say it to her of course), I find it hard to understand. Because as a child I spent an awful lot of time at my own grandma's
. An awful lot looking back.