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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would you be comfortable in the knowledge that your date had slept with hundreds of women?

132 replies

SoleSource · 29/08/2013 04:15

Or would that fact be off putting?

Just asking for a friend.

Yes, she believes him. No, it's not me.

OP posts:
flummoxedlummox · 30/08/2013 00:01

It's a lie or a typo. 90 sounds sort of reasonable.

beaglesaresweet · 30/08/2013 00:34

57-20 is 37, not 27! So he did have about 20yrs to do this number in. 45 people per year, well, about 4 per month - not likely to be true, unless he went into binges and then breaks.

I'd be put off though. It can be a sex addiction, or all sorts of psychological reasons, especially if he carried on into his middle age. Even if not, it would take a while to be sure, is it worth it?

Why does she want to date him now, after years of internet chat? I hope, that fact didn't make her interested?

SoleSource · 30/08/2013 00:52

Just a gradual attraction I imagine lol

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 30/08/2013 00:54

'fess up, come on

SoleSource · 30/08/2013 00:56

Sharrup AF

I have slept with five men!! Shock

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 30/08/2013 01:04

nobody believes the "I am asking for a friend" bollocks, SS Grin

you have been talking about your online pal for some time now

steer away from this fuckwit, seriously

SoleSource · 30/08/2013 01:06

Oh ffs rumbled

you sod AF

You will pay for this lol

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 30/08/2013 01:07

Are you listening to the advice on this thread though ?

SoleSource · 30/08/2013 01:08

Yes I don't want him was just curios as he has a woman that accepts him. I found it odd.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 30/08/2013 01:09

It's fifty fucking shades of odd, SS.

K8Middleton · 30/08/2013 01:16

900? Shock

I wouldn't bother. There'd be nothing left.

AnyFucker · 30/08/2013 01:18

< snurk >

Lazyjaney · 30/08/2013 07:05

Anniversaries cannot be measured in weeks, by very definition of the word 'anniversary

Anniverse, schmaniverse, as the Americans would say. With a bloke like this you'd better learn how, "Love you till Tuesday" will be Your Song.

SubliminalMassaging · 30/08/2013 08:12

I think he's probably a liar and a fantasist. Anyone who can spend years talking though the night online chat rooms, and who has spent twenty of his 57 years in faithful marriage just hasn't been out there living the hedonistic life he is trying to convince you of, has he? How has he had the time to rack up 900 shags? Confused Even if you possess the improbable combination of looking like a Sex God, being loaded, being utterly charming and being prepared to shag absolutely anything it is still pretty difficult to get the numbers up that high.

Taking his 20 married years out of the equation, and assuming he started at around 17, and he's now 57, that's 20 years give or take, at an average of 45 new shagging partners per year, every year. Which is almost one new person for every single week of his life, over a sustained 20 year period. So if he dated anyone regularly for any more than a few weeks or months, that would mean that some weeks he'd having to be finding several new people to shag, to compensate, and keep up the average.

I just don't buy it. Men who are that successful with women don't spend whole chunks of their lives in chatrooms, trying to woo someone. They are too busy out there living their rather seedy life. Hmm

CuChullain · 30/08/2013 16:40

I have absolutely no issues with the number of previous partners someone has so long as they practiced safe sex and there was no infidelity involved.

cronullansw · 30/08/2013 22:44

Speaking as one who lived through two decades of hedonism, and racked up a pretty impressive / scary (delete as applicable) number, I can assure you, he's lying about the 900.

It might indeed be a lot, a very very large lot indeed. But unless one keeps a meticulous diary, one tends to forget, plus chuck in a couple of long term relationships, and inevitably you'l see some partners for a few weeks, rather than just a one off. Unless he's been regularly participating in quite large orgies, I can't see this. Or maybe he's rich / famous and has virtually unlimited offers?

As for the 'get him STI tested' brigade, hmm, do you honestly think if he got something 3, 7, or 25 years ago, he might not have been made aware of it by now?

And out of interest, during my twenty plus years of largely uninhibited sexual play I never once caught anything and only occasionally used condoms.

So would I be bothered by having a partner with a large number? Not at all. My decade plus partner is no shrinking violet, but I have no idea of their number, nor do they know mine - why would one ask?

Sallystyle · 30/08/2013 22:50

900? I would assume he was lying.

Either way, it would be a deal breaker.

I would be put off by a 100 too. But while dating I feel it is ok to be as picky as you like!

It shouldn't matter how many people someone has slept with, but I admit that a high number might put me off, but I know that says more about me and my insecurities than anything else.

Bogeyface · 30/08/2013 23:02

sexual play

Totally OT but.....BLEURGH! I really hate that phrase!

SirRaymondClench · 30/08/2013 23:06

If you had sex with a ridiculously high number over 20 years and didn't use condoms then you are stupid beyond belief. The fact that you found yourself to be disease free in all that time is sheer luck rather than some sort of achievement.
What a disgusting bragging post.

blueshoes · 30/08/2013 23:19

900?? Sorry, he must be skanky. Run for the hills.

cronullansw · 31/08/2013 04:57

You've got me there Raymond old boy, stupid beyond belief, or is the whole, 'if you look at a man you'll get an sti'' a little over blown? Was I bragging or giving an example based upon personal experience? Or should I pop down to the corner shop and buy a lottery ticket?

SirRaymondClench · 31/08/2013 09:31

'If you look at a man you'll get an sti'? What the fuck are you on about?
That ^^ comes across as very bitter and woman-hating.

As someone who watched my best friend die slowly of an Aids related illness, I can tell you that yes, to have unprotected sex with hundreds of people over a twenty plus year timescale is stupid beyond belief.

Your post came across perfectly as bragging and know-it-all, which you don't.
Just because for 20 plus years you stuck your cock in anything that moved, (and that which didn't move fast enough) and your cock didn't drop off doesn't mean the Op should leap into bed and have unprotected sex with another skank who can't work out how to use a condom)

Were you expecting a rosette or something Hmm

LittlePeaPod · 31/08/2013 11:35

Cronullansw really gross and very irresponsible.

SirRaymond very well said.

blueshoes · 31/08/2013 12:15

How do you keep track of your number if it is 900 anyway. Is there some kind of counter?

bigstrongmama · 31/08/2013 13:41

900 is clearly bollocks, or endless meaningless sex, either way deeply unattractive.

Someone has put upthread that they'd want to see an STD check in writing - is that possible? Do you get a letter stating you are disease-free? Just asking as I've met a man who doesn't like condoms (really, it makes him wilt)...and I don't want to catch anything!