Would you be comfortable in the knowledge that your date had slept with hundreds of women?

[SoleSource]

Or would that fact be off putting?

Just asking for a friend.

Yes, she believes him. No, it's not me.

Bollocks, lazyjaney.

Do the math, Toby. Hundreds.

It would definitely put me off.
In my experience the men who I have known who have slept with hundreds of women have been useless in bed so it doesn't always equate that lots of people = experience.
I'd also be wondering about his attitude to women and his inability to hold down a relationship.

The number of people with whom one has had sex has absolutely no bearing on one's ability or willingness to have sex with only one person in future. None whatsoever.

Cheaters cheat, whether they've slept with 1 person or 100.

One guy I knew who had slept with over 200 was in constant competition with his mates who were also in that number to see how many women they could sleep with.
The women who they slept with were worthless in their eyes because 'if they sleep with us, they'd sleep with anyone'
They had an appalling attitude to women and none of them have been in relationships where they haven't cheated etc. They all have a madonna/whore thing going on.

TobyLerone exactly what you said

I think it very much depends on the individual and their reasons for sleeping with that many people. Any whiff of either desperation or misogyny would put me off, but those things are not inherent in promiscuity. Some people simply view casual sex as just another recreational activity. It would, however, cause me to slow things down considerably until I could establish an accurate degree of risk (to my sexual health).

What would interest me far more because it is far more relevant would be their attitude towards women generally and their attitude towards sexual health and contraception, which can speak volumes.

Math? surely Lazyjaney you means maths? Why've we gone all American? Unless you are American?

I wouldn't like it. Despite my best efforts I just can't do casual sex. I would want someone with the same values as me.

Lwej that sounds like my kind of orgy!

As another reply said about the DJ hubby some people have perfectly understandable lifestyles so personally i would ignore the number and see how our relationship progresses.

Depends. Could be bragging could be an honest answer to a question or a dishonest answer.

He might have slept with 99% of them 20 years ago.

Yes, I would put me off.

I don't have a precise figure that I use as a definition, but I don't find promiscuity particularly attractive.

The number of people with whom one has had sex has absolutely no bearing on one's ability or willingness to have sex with only one person in future. None whatsoever. This 100%

My DH's number is in triple figures. This was over 10 years, some were one night stands (where both parties knew it was going nowhere) and others were short-medium term relationships. He has a lot of respect for women, having been brought up mainly by his mum. He has very clear views on cheating and I believe he never would and never has.

One of my closest male friends has slept with 5/6 people, and cheated on all but one.

In response to the OP, it would depend on the situation and the guy, it (obviously) wouldn't be a immediate deal breaker, but if he was boasting or had said it in the first few dates I would probably be put off.

I've slept with loads of people. Way more than my DH has. I've had one-night stands, dated several people casually at once and been in several open relationships. I've also been married twice.

I have never, ever in my life cheated on anyone. I may be a slut, but I'm not a cheat.

Ditto to what Dahlen said.

The number wouldn't bother me, but the attitude behind why she already knows might be a red flag.

A mature attitude with contraception and protection and towards women is key. Having said that, these days I still wouldn't be impressed and would avoid. It's just not where I'm at now in life, but it would be ok for some, and was ok for where I was at the time. Relationships can be short-term with someone who flits about so much unless you happen to meet someone who feels ready to settle down -but if they don't know what settling down is like by their 40's it will be hard for them to suddenly be able to successfully do so.
A temporary reaction to a failed relationship is less concerning (people can react by having a period of promiscuity).
Knowledge is power, so if wanting the man to pick you as the one out of many to settle with then go extra slow and basically makes sure he's prepared to work hard to get your affection. Make it too easy and it's likely one could end up as another on the past list.

Depends what I wanted out of the relationship. I'd kind of want to know the back story if I was looking for a monogamous marriage or whatever. I'm sure there are circumstances where it could have happened to a lovely, reliable man, but it does beg some questioning, and I'm no angel.

On the other hand, if I was looking for a six month fling with a technically accomplished lover - ideal!

No. I would not. Partly because he'd slept with hundreds of women, partly be because he'd felt the need to tell me.

I am not convinced you can determine whether someone will cheat based on the number of people they have slept with. But, personally I just couldn't be with someone that had shagged their way through hundreds of people. The thought of sleeping with them would gross me out a little. DF is 41 and i know he has slept with a few but certainly not in the high double digits or hundreds. Now I know my thoughts on this are because I personally have never wanted to or slept with loads of men 37 and never experienced a ONS My only sexual experiences have only ever been with medium and long term partners (5) not judging anyone just trying to explain I guess

I dont feel that these things should be discussed - why does she need to know how many people he has slept with? How would she have felt about him if she didnt know his number?

I dont know how many ppl my partner slept with before me and i dont want to know. It wont improve our relationship

michelle - interesting POV. You have a point, too in that how much of a person's character is defined by the number of people they have slept with. It's very relevant for a misogynist casanova, but irrelevant for a man who respects women but has simply had lots of sexual partners.

Also, someone could make it up.

Everyone should be practising safe sex with a partner until they've established complete sexual health anyway, and that is the case whether they've slept with 1 or 100 people.

Although, the more sexual partners you have, the more at risk you are at having contracted an STI, and some of those can be passed on even when practising safe sex, so I suppose there is a relevance to some degree.

That is a good point, michelle. I'm not sure when DH and I had that conversation, but it certainly wasn't right at the beginning of our relationship. It just wasn't an important piece of information to either of us. When we did discuss it, it would have been out of idle interest.

Thank you to each of you for responding.

Friend asked me to ask, she hasn't been on a date with him yet, he told her the number, she is not telling him her number, he is 57, he was married twice and never cheated, one marriage lasted about fifteen years, other marriage five, he claimed to have slept with 900 women... either side of his marriages..

He is STI free he told her.