Dp has just given me a complete bombshell

[jellyjelly]

We have been together for almost 5 yrs and have a lovely 3.5 yr onld, we are due to be married in a couple of weeks and it has always been both of our intentions to try for another on honeymoon as carry on having kids. Have wanted another one since ds was a baby but was always told to wait till the honeymoon. He has now come out with 'i dont want any more and never have' I have always wanted lots since i met him. He said a week ago that we couldnt afford another one because of my work.

I have asked him lots of questions and he has done nothing to comfort me at all asn i am sitting here writting with tears streaming down my face as i am so upset. He has kept me waiting for yrs and now this. He said it isnt due to the wedding being so close but that he wanted to keep me happy so went along with this.

He was happy for me to start taking vits and come off the coil but now feel like an idiot.

JUST KNOWING THAT THEY ARE GOING TO LIVE TOGETHER is detroying me, he has met her son but have said that i dont want my ds to meet her for a long long time, he sadi a few months but i said longer and that it will shatter me.

His parents are comign down to see me this weekend. Dont know how i will cope with that.

He did just call to say thanks for letting me see ds, he seems to finally be being considerate which is very odd as he hasnt been and he got here when he said he would. He also said he broke down at work this afternoon.

hi hun sorry to hear all this just seen it.

I know you don't live a million miles from me (know vaguely where you are from CM threads) so if you want a chat or anything at any time let me know xx

hi, just read this wanted to say I feel for you, what a shock to the system this must all be to you sweetie, can't imagine what you are going through. What others have said is true though thank god you found out now rather than years down the line.
sending you big hugs you deserve much better than that poor excuse for a man and you will find someone that deserves you x

This is (very) scant consolation for you now but statistically it is very very unlikely that their new relationship will be a success ...... particularly with both parties concerned having a background of dishonest philandering. Once they see each other "warts and all" on a day to day basis - as opposed to the furtive "excitement" of a forbidden affair - it is doubtful that they'll stay happy for long. They both sound extremely selfish and shallow and the "thrill" of a secret relationship will now be missing.

They deserve each other.

You - on the other hand, however dreadful you feel now and for however long it takes, have something they don't - and that is the freedom to meet someone decent when you are ready. You can also hold your head high and know without a shred of doubt that you have never lied, never sought to destroy someone else's relationship for your own selfish gains and have always put your son 1st.

I don't really know what else to say .... no-one can wave a magic wand because we all react and deal with these things differently, but day by day, there will come a time when you will breathe a big sigh of relief.

My god JellyJelly, I can't believe how fast this is happening! You only posted 2 days agot hat he said he didn't want enymore kids when you were married!!!

I think things have just got worse as i have been pretty right about everything else and a previous conversations about her and he said something like ' blah blah blah and our/my kid' what from me and do you know what you just said, i told him and he said dont be so silly.

Called him up and he said no chance but if he would have ever had one it would be 9 ish.

Think i was pregnant but maybe not now.

jellyjelly - I have only just seen, this, I am sorry i am having trouble fully grasping your post- are you saying you think you may be/have been pg?

Jelly is there a possibility that one of her children is his?

I am sorry, I just want to be sure exactly what you are saying, are you alright?

yes that her son could be his but he denies it as he would i have been right about everything else.

Yes really think i was pregnant told him today that i had misscarriage as it isnt normal.

You ok? Getting my emails ok?

Oh jelly, are you alright? have you been to the doctors?

What a total wanker, and with a ds to think about too. I am glad your main priority is your ds. I personally would've told him that there was no way he would ever see his ds again, but on reflection, you are doing the best thing for your ds by letting him see your xp as he might resent you for it later on (your ds that is, not your xp, who gives a flying f**k what he thinks!)

As for the haircutting and make-up thing, good on you, make yourself feel as good as you possibly can and you will make other people feel good about you too.

Now all you have to do is get over this tosser. I know it sounds hard at the moment, but you are part of the way there already.

And as for her, HAS SHE NO SELF RESPECT?!! Kissing in the toilets?! In the local pub?! must be trying to relive her youth, she must be older than you? What a slag, she deserves a slap, but you have proved you are the bigger person by not going after her. In the words of Xtina, she is Dirrty and Nasty!!

thankyou, havent been to the doctors as they cant do anything now bloodlose to much, i am trying to think of the future and i can be the bigger person i wished him luck and i called and left a message for her wishing her well because i am a nice person she was shocked to say the least it did turn my tummy when one of his friends told me that they were going to give it a go. Think i will sell the house and try to rent somewhere buy my own furniture and make a better life, maybe try and get some more qualification to try to make it easier to provide for my son as he wont longterm i dont think so i need to be aware of that. Not bad thinking seeing as only on day 3, pretty positive.

Go girl, you can do it, he was never much there for you anyway was he!

Stay strong!!!

I think that is why it doesnt feel real because i think he is at the pub ie gone before i wake up not there when i go to sleep so doesnt really feel different.

Ds was really sweet and just said ' when i get big i can fix the bulbs for you' meaning that he will change the light bulb because i always used to leave it to xp and he asked if i had money as well.

exactly. i never could understand how anyone (xdp) could do what he was doing when he's supposed to be in love and getting married.

you get your independance and make a nice home for you and ds. yell if i can do anything to help.

jelly - something odd is going on with my emails. the odd ones are being delayed for 24 hrs but i don't know why. anyway, i've sent loads of emails but don't know what you've got and haven't got - just post on here if you need to, i'll keep an eye or give me a call.