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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating thread 62 .. All welcome

999 replies

Kirstywirsty · 20/08/2013 16:37

The Rules

  1. Develop a thick skin;
  2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
  3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
  4. Trust your gut instinct;
  5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
  6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
  7. If it's not fun, stop
  8. loo update is mandatory
OP posts:
KinNora · 01/09/2013 15:19

Angry hedgehog - like this ? Scary , carry on and you'll be an intriguing mix of Terry Nutkins and Mike Yarwood.

KinNora · 01/09/2013 15:23

He sounds like a right git Kitty , you're clearly well rid of him. One of the big problems with men like that ( and I speak from experience ) is that they dent your self confidence so much it can be hard to believe that another man actually wants you.

brokenhearted55 · 01/09/2013 15:25

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bant · 01/09/2013 15:25

Kitty - the ex sounds like a knob.

The new bloke though - why do you think you're getting the brush off? You've been for nice long days out, ended up wobbly kneed, has he said 'only days out' or something? As in, he doesn't want to see you in the evenings?

kittykat10 · 01/09/2013 15:26

No it was my ex who never wanted to go out ,this sweet in his own way .

My ex was a drugy and thought it be ok

Bant · 01/09/2013 15:28

Sorry broken - was this the guy you told us about on here? A doctor who kept checking his watch on the first date (or am I misremembering?)

KinNora · 01/09/2013 15:41

I'm sorry Broken are you ok ? It's always a bit shit when then that happens.

kittykat10 · 01/09/2013 15:43

Will sound daft but he works long hours ,I can't travel to him and both have dogs to see to.

He admits he a bit set in his ways but least days out is a start and I'm happy with that.

Had two bf and neither have wanted to do dAft stuff like feed the ducks or go to see the dams

KinNora · 01/09/2013 15:47

A man who wants to do 'daft' stuff with you is a very good thing, it's possible to get more enjoyment even out of a joint trip to the supermarket (as I'm sure OWW is currently experiencing ) with someone you really like, than a night out in Monte Carlo with someone who's an arse.

brokenhearted55 · 01/09/2013 15:50

This reply has been deleted

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SweetSeraphim · 01/09/2013 15:52

Why do you need to talk if he's finished it? Confused No good can come of it really.... I'm sorry this has happened.

Bant · 01/09/2013 15:56

broken - not sure if there's anything you can say really - it's been 5 dates in 10 weeks, he hasn't just shagged and run, just said that its not really working for him, he's not head over heels. 5 dates is long enough to with that out. Sometimes things just don't work out, it's not your fault.

Just take some time to yourself and move on. There's nothing that can fix it if it wasn't really working for both of you..

brokenhearted55 · 01/09/2013 15:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kittykat10 · 01/09/2013 15:58

Yeah yesterday aS brilliant ,he don't expect me to travel to him and he paid for drinks and fee , insisted on paying for the snack lunch only thought it fair.

I'm hoping it coz I'm tired. Most evening dates mean meals and I'm not brilliant at eating in pubs etc.

ALittleStranger · 01/09/2013 16:04

Broken I posted on your other thread before seeing this here. As with my other post, I think Bant is right on this one. He has probably suggested talking because that's polite, especially if doing it via text. I'd only bother if it's actually going to help you. Will it?

Kitty it all sounds lovely for you.

kittykat10 · 01/09/2013 16:04

Will sound daft but he works long hours ,I can't travel to him and both have dogs to see to.

He admits he a bit set in his ways but least days out is a start and I'm happy with that.

Had two bf and neither have wanted to do dAft stuff like feed the ducks or go to see the dams

SweetSeraphim · 01/09/2013 16:05

What for though? What's the point?

I'm only saying this as someone who's done it, btw. It just makes things worse ime, that's all.

kittykat10 · 01/09/2013 16:05

Sorry posted last message !

told you tired!

brokenhearted55 · 01/09/2013 16:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ALittleStranger · 01/09/2013 16:10

Are you hoping that he's after a reconciliation Broken?

Winefiend · 01/09/2013 16:19

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KinNora · 01/09/2013 17:33

Broken, Wine speaks the truth, you'll end up feeling worse than you did before.

hostesswithleastest · 01/09/2013 18:03

broken so sorry that stinks. Remember it's them not you - or at very least, this isn't the right person for you or they would not have done this. Big hug.

kin and kitty I so agree about the fun daft times being important and about fun trips to the supermarket!! Kitty I recognise in you a fellow over analyser. And someone prone to accept crappy behaviour. We need more self esteem. I've found this thread a real boon for that.

Prof actually left it with a text saying could we meet thurs, I said not sure as don't know which night ill have kids. Would expect chat after that but no, silence. Another sign of not quite right for me and yeah I'm sad in a way cos he did tick many boxes as you say 49.

I want to be rid of feelings for my nasty ex who is now texting me and emailing me all the bloody time (so i feel your pain broken) telling me he still loves me and wants to see me. He's in Italy and we always had wonderful times there and I am itching to go back and see him. MISTAKE ALERT. Must keep telling myself I am too broke to go.... :D

hostesswithleastest · 01/09/2013 18:04

Oh wine you speak the truth and don't I know it but the flesh is weak

kittykat10 · 01/09/2013 18:24

Tar for being so supportive you lot, I like him and well yesterday fumble so to speak was amazing !