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Original poster

Dating thread 62 .. All welcome

999 replies

Kirstywirsty · 20/08/2013 16:37

The Rules

  1. Develop a thick skin;
  2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
  3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
  4. Trust your gut instinct;
  5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
  6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
  7. If it's not fun, stop
  8. loo update is mandatory
OP posts:
KinNora · 30/08/2013 16:48

Hostess - re 'Portuguese Stallion', I'd probably say 'neigh' but I am immature.

Flo of course you can send the text, I would, I don't believe in arsing about, seize the momentum.

KinNora · 30/08/2013 16:50

.

I've never had lips mentioned before, it's usually my seductive eyes, like a Manc Mata Hari.

Bant · 30/08/2013 17:25

Flojo - I'd say don't send the text. He is not going to be sitting waiting for it, if he likes you he will ask you out again.

Sending the text won't improve the chances, I'd say. There is a small chance it might harm them.

Hamwidgeandcheps · 30/08/2013 17:28

ok so okcupid is live. i have already had nice messages from TOO YOUNG GUYS!! they weren't at all minging though so thats flattering but really? What use is a 25 year old to me?

Bant · 30/08/2013 17:34

Hamwedge - PM me your profile and I'll give you feedback if you like

Hamwidgeandcheps · 30/08/2013 17:54

jesus pof is crazy busy!

Flojobunny · 30/08/2013 17:55

Ok, I'm going to send the text, I'm too impatient, though quite disappointed that he didnt send one. Probably says it all really but I'd rather send it and know where I stand.
Hand holding please, while I await the verdict..

Flojobunny · 30/08/2013 17:56

Sent "hi, nice meeting u today. Would u like to do it again sometime?". Strangely nervous, not felt this giddy in years!

Bant · 30/08/2013 17:58

Flojo - send the text saying you enjoyed the date, if you need to send something, but don't ask him for a second one - that's his opening to ask you out for another one. Asking him out can make a man less into you. It's stupid but its true.

Bant · 30/08/2013 17:58

Ah too late. Sorry

Hamwidgeandcheps · 30/08/2013 17:59

bant im all up for that but i cant even write in the boxes i hate hate hate doing that bit :-(
i have already been 'hunned' by a bloke who starts off with 'i'm a bit mad me'

well this will keep me entertained and not dwelling on mr hot and cold. twunt.

lovelybunchofcoconuts · 30/08/2013 18:06

hostess Ironman & I have been together 10 months, we were looking at houses to live together. I got cold feet so ended it. He wants us to get back together but slow things down, live apart for a bit and review in a few months.
So it's not him who doesn't want to take things further, it's me! I am the red flag bearer!

lovelybunchofcoconuts · 30/08/2013 18:08

Bant that sounds a bit like the things they say in The Rules (don't ask him on a 2nd date, men like to do the running) do you think they may have a point?
I haven't read it but I think I know the general gist of it.

lovelybunchofcoconuts · 30/08/2013 18:09

Hope he texts back Flojo Smile

Bant · 30/08/2013 18:17

coconuts - it is from the rules, yes, but it also seems to be anecdotally true from these threads. And from my experience - it's human nature that for both men and women , insecurity seems to have the Groucho Marx effect - that you wouldn't want to be part of a club that would accept you as a member.

I've been on dates where I've been wondering whether to ask them out for a second date and they've asked me out first - and it makes them seem a little needy. It makes me start thinking I can do better if I have to pursue someone

It is, of course, utter bollocks. I know that. I'm intelligent enough to realise there is some fucked up psychology going on in my head, and people should be able to openly and honestly express their preferences regardless of gender.

Having said that, it still happens and it puts me off them just a smidgen.

KinNora · 30/08/2013 18:19

Fingers crossed Flo

Ham it will definitely keep you entertained if nothing else

Hamwidgeandcheps · 30/08/2013 18:22

i may become addicted....i really should get dome shopping in and fethc the kids!

Flojobunny · 30/08/2013 18:25

Oh bugger, its started well. This is why I don't date. He replied " I would like to see u again. I enjoyed myself".
I replied "great. I feel all giddy now". He said "why?" So I said "I was sure u weren't interested with no messaging me first" then trying to brush it off quick I said " I'm just easily excitable" then died and put "ok I will shut up now I sound like an Andrex puppy".
It's unsalvigable isn't it?
The whole point of text is that I can engage my brain before I speak. There's no hope for me is there? Blush

JulietteMontague · 30/08/2013 18:48

Flo Grin please tell us he texted back

Kin loving Manc Mata Hari Smile

Coconuts sorry to hear about you and Ironman, would it be good to take some time out for yourself for a while to avoid being sidetracked by Coffee see how you feel? If you were to never, ever see him again how would you feel?

Kitty see, all is well. Remember the stuff on the 'listen up' thread, that is what normal looks like Smile

I'm having a difficult time with DS. Not because Dutchie is here, it's just more obvious when there is another adult in the house just how rude DS can be to me day in day out.

lovelybunchofcoconuts · 30/08/2013 18:49

Ok Flo step away from the phone now. Have a bath, a drink, hoover round, whatever you want but leave him to get back to you.

lovelybunchofcoconuts · 30/08/2013 18:54

Juliette I would be gutted if I didn't see him again but it's not that simple IYSWIM.

Bant can you write The Rules Bant style? With penguins?

49howdidthathappen · 30/08/2013 19:18

Flo You sound bloody great Grin

I have never done the chasing just not in my nature. I can be a lazy cow Blush

KinNora · 30/08/2013 20:03

Juliette only this morning I was thinking you must be in loved-up Dutchie Heaven.

I'm currently talking to a man on okc who sent me a copy of his (beautifully written) but frank (no, I don't want to know that you took blonde businesswoman up the chocolate highway on a regular basis) and vaguely humorous article on online dating.

I don't know how I feel about this, I certainly don't want to be part of a paragraph starting ' And so as I stood on the platform at Euston, my heart beating frantically, like the percussion in an 80s German, sub-Kraftwerk synth rock track I glanced across the station looking for the spiky Internet stranger who'd previously told me she was hard as nails and wouldn't let me insert my eager, turgid talking head into her moist oasis'

Bant · 30/08/2013 20:19

Ok I've been messaged by, and have chatted to, a woman on OKC. As this thing, whatever it is with the Mermaid, is ongoing and I'll see her in a few weeks, then possibly a month later, and we said we're still seeing other people; should I go on the suggested date with this woman?

Bad points: she's Hungarian, so there will probably be a tickle in the back of my mind about whether she's after a rich westerner
Good points: she's attractive and seems to be funny. And wants to hear my jokes about hedgehogs

Bant · 30/08/2013 20:19

Other bad point; isn't sure what a hedgehog is

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