We have DS 7. We had a terrible time after he was born PND, DH depressed, lots of other stuff going on at the same time and it hit us both hard. It took me three years to get back to myself. We both agreed no more, not for us. We love our DS to bits but no more.
However in January I had a total change of heart. I spoke to DH and he totally flipped, didn't understand how I could change my mind, thought it was a phase etc. We both agreed to think on it. Four months later he told me he'd told someone "never say never" on the subject of having more kids. I was surprised but held hope that he might change his mind, we agreed that we would discuss it at a later date.
In January i'd hoped we would have sorted this by August as I turn 35 this month. I'd hoped we'd be TTC, a stretch but I hoped!! personally I don't wish to leave it any later so I really feel its now or never.
With this personal deadline in mind we had a chat about it. DH was a lot calmer about it and still says no. His reasons are that the sleepless nights are a killer, back to square one, possible damage to our relationship, delaying getting back to normal so we can have 'our' time together, go out more etc. concern for me physically and mentally.
I know if I put my foot down he would go with it, but I don't want to do that. I don't want to celebrate my birthday its just too depressing and upsetting. DH just asked if I would go to a works xmas party in dec and my thought was I should be 4 months or so pregnant. Only I wont be, but I know it will be on my mind.
SO...what do I do. Deal with a big fat no and sob everytime I see a baby and flush my dreams away and hope I don't resent or hate him.
bully him into having one and hope it all pans out happily...
by the way it you say to deal with it please tell me HOW!
THANK you if you read this far.