Oh bugger. I think I'm in love with one of my best friends.

[LucyWildelovesGru]

I've known him for years though we've definitely spent a lot more time together recently. He's kind and funny and smart. We get on incredibly well, we spend loads of time together and we never run out of things to say. We've got loads in common, and lots of mutual friends - he's perfect. I even like his parents.

And now I think I've fallen for him. We went to a wedding two weekends where neither of us knew many other people - as a result, we spent most of the time together and had a lovely time. And when I got home, I realised I don't want to just be friends any more, and I keep thinking about him and how much fun we had.

I can't believe I've gone and done this - he's so much a part of my life, and now I've got to either tell him how I feel and ruin the friendship if it's not reciprocated, or do nothing and try and get over it. Or, I suppose, hang around in the hope that he feels the same way. But I don't have any real evidence that he does.

I have absolutely no idea how to go about this - I've even been googling "ways to tell if he fancies you" which is absurd given my age and the fact that all the articles say things like "try and sit next to him in class and see what happens". But I've never been in this situation before - got married at 25 to the boy I'd been going out with since school, and haven't dared go on a date since we split up two years ago.

I know he isn't dating anyone else, and that he hasn't had a serious relationship since his girlfriend died about five years ago. But that doesn't mean he's interested in me, of course.

Please, tell me to get a grip and get on with my life. Or to get a grip and tell him how I feel. Or give me a list of "ten ways to tell if a forty something bloke who's unfailingly polite and interested in everyone he encounters likes you more than he likes other people" so I can work out whether he likes me back.

[magimedi]

SUNDAY??

How can we wait so long? .

[Elsiequadrille]

Good luck!

[LizaTarbucksAuntie]

awwww.
I'm another one who married my best friend.

We'd known each other 20 years as best friends - I was his bridesmaid at his first wedding, he was my witness at my first wedding.

We'd actually fallen for each other at first sight but then he was 'warned off' a bit by a friend of his who fancied me who then set him up with my bff.

His marriage ended about a year before mine.

It was about 4 months of gradually realising I was flirting with him before I was persuaded to say something to him.

I was terrified. I got quite drunk and eventually blurted out 'so are we ever going to get together then or what' (am SUCH a romantic)

he said, 'yes' just like that. Like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

We celebrated our 2 wedding anniversary last week and I've honestly never been happier. Go for it, you will never know unless you try.

[MissStrawberry]

No, me too . I read Sunday and immediately checked the date!

5 sleeps to go.....

[KatieScarlett2833]

Sunday!
(Marks place)

[KoalaFace]

Waiting to see you is a good sign I think!

Good luck for Sunday!

Any outfit ideas?

[cloudskitchen]

Good luck

[windywoo26]

Good luck x

[ThreeGoMad]

Can't you just say something like "have you ever thought about the two of us getting together?" and see how it goes from there. Gives him the chance to let you down gently if you approach it as just talking hypothetically :)

[Toomuch2young]

Ooooh exciting thread! Wishing you all the best for Sunday

[Ahhhcrap]

Shamelessly marking my spot

[themidwife]

Have lurked for ages. Now being very impatiently nosy! What happened?!!!!!

[themidwife]

Or is it next Sunday?

[Locketjuice]

Marking my spot

[NotConnie]

I too have lurked for ages and am so impatient!
Good luck Lucy

[claudedebussy]

ooooho oooh

when is dinner?

[LucyWildelovesGru]

Right, you all have to calm down! We couldn't get together before Sunday - his father isn't very well and he's going to visit him over the weekend.

You're winding me up into a state of high excitement, and I need to get through the rest of this week without going mad. You've all convinced me that I need to do this and that the answer is likely to be yes, but I really don't know that it will be.

First, there's a better than average chance this will go nowhere and I can't bear the idea of you all being terribly disappointed. That might be harder than managing my own disappointment...so deep breaths people, we need some measure of realism here. He's had plenty of chances over the last couple of years to make a move, although I probably would have dropped dead of shock if he had, given that I've only just decided that I am interested in him. The chances of us both feeling the same way at the same time are small, and I suspect the answer will be a gentle let down.

Second, none of you know me - I'm rubbish at things like this. I've never once managed to say exactly what I think in tricky situations. I usually end up fudging it, so there's a good chance I will be so oblique that he doesn't have the first clue what I'm talking about. Or I will make a complete fool of myself, get my words muddled up, spill wine down myself and run away. I am well known for making inappropriate jokes when I get nervous and I am incredibly clumsy when stressed.

Third, I've just had a disastrous haircut [wail]. I went to my usual hairdresser but he was on holiday and I don't know what his stand-in did but it's really not looking good...it was meant to be all glossy and bouncy and curly and it just looks a bit limp and sad with weird layers everywhere. I can still tie it back, which is a good thing, but it's not the most auspicious of starts to Project-Look-Amazing.

Fourth, I've got nothing to wear! I usually wear jeans and t-shirts, or suits for work, and clearly none of this will do. Although as he's only ever seen me in jeans and t-shirts/suits/wedding attire perhaps I shouldn't alarm him too much at the start by looking too different to usual.

Fifth, my sister was meant to be babysitting on Sunday and she's just texted to say she's got a date...which is ironic. I didn't tell her where I was going, nor do I plan to after she dismissed me out of hand when I made the mistake of telling her how I felt about him, so I'm going to have to come up with a plan B. Which will probably involve sending the dcs to my dad and stepmum, who will give me the third degree about where I'm going (she is convinced that I should be married again with three more children by this stage post divorce).

On the plus side, I'm too nervous to eat much. With luck, I'll have dropped a dress size by Sunday and will at least have relative slenderness on my side, even if I am a frizzy haired, clumsy, badly dressed ball of nerves...

[WeelyBadMum]

Noooo.....another one who's just found this, read it all and is now hanging on for any update - best of luck OP

[Loopytiles]

Hi, have been lurking and crossing fingers for you! lots going on in your head.

You don't need to worry about disappointing MNetters! Whatever the outcome, we admire you for even considering telling him how you feel!

Maybe you could get or borrow a nice top or something? Sorry you don't like your hair, curses to the hairdresser!

[skyeskyeskye]

at your last post Lucy. You are right, we don't want to wind you up too much before the date.

I'm sure you will be fine.

[SoftKittyWarmKitty]

Ooh, this thread is so exciting! Similar to you OP, but after years of being single I've recently met someone I hugely have the hots for. Unfortunately he's 12 years younger than me so it won't go anywhere. Keeping my fingers crossed for you, though!

[UterusUterusGhali]

[makingdoo]

I can't wait until Sunday after reading all that!!!!

OP you need a killer dress. He needs to know that this is a little different than your normal friendly meet ups!

Good luck!

[LucyWildelovesGru]

Even if I owned a killer dress, I'd feel stupid in it. And I'd have to wear heels which would be a disaster. We're going to the pub in the village - I can't dress up for that.

Oh crap...writing that I've just realised that my common sense must have deserted me entirely when we made plans. I can't go to the village pub. Last time I was there my elderly neighbour pulled up a chair and gave me an update on his bladder problems and my dd's teacher spent twenty minutes trying to sell me a raffle ticket. Time to relocate I think...

[BoreOfWhabylon]

I have only just discovered this thread. Now can't wait for Sunday!