how can I convince dh that condoms are the way to go - or is there a compromise?

[highlandspring]

I'm hoping someone will be able to help me - have changed my name just in case dh decides to have a quick look at what I've been posting on

basically, dh and I love each other very much. Due to medical reasons, I cannot tolerate any hormonal contraception and cannot do any of the non-hormonal ones you insert (copper coil, diaphragm) due to a weird shaped cervix and uterus.

This has left us using the withdrawal method but it has so put me off having sex because I really do not want to get pregnant. For me, sex is the bees knees of all stuff we do together - dh is quite happy to do all sorts of other stuff but for me, I don't mind the other stuff but would always want sex at the end.

This is now causing problems because I am starting to completely lose interest because I feel I'm not getting what I need and he is getting annoyed because he feels I'm not 100% into what we're doing (I'm not!). If he would wear a condom for sex, we could do it properly and I would happily partake in all the other stuff because I know we would end up having sex at the end.

But he won't - because he hates them . So either he wears one and he doesn't enjoy it or we do withdrawal and I don't enjoy it and worry that I'm going to fall pregnant. Heeeeeeeeelp!!

dd1 is a persona baby

waiting list is 12 weeks in north london for vasectomy, one of our friends conceived during their wait

how would your dh realistically feel if you fell pregnant and had another baby? If you know he would be horrified, then tell him that you're so glad he's happy for you to be trying again for another baby, and see how quickly he gets himself off to have the snip.

My sister confesses their sex life improved exponentially after BIL had the snip.

He certainly doesn't have any regrets.

Nor does my dad or FIL.

ok sorry to be blunt but the thing with condoms is:
lubricant inside as well as out
get the right SIZE not too small
don't skimp on the brand \link{http://www.britishcondoms.com/inspiral-condoms\try these}

or durex avanti
can't bear the things myself but needs must eh?

he really isn't lying custardo! He's the sort of man that doesn't do doctors unless he's on the verge of death (think he's been once in 5 years). He really is quite frightened of anything medical.

He has told me (heart to heart) that it really, genuinely frightens him and I think if I threw down an ultimatum, like 'I leave or you have a vasectomy' then he might consider it but it would be under duress and as our relationship is good, I really can't see the point in pushing him to the edge.

Maybe the female sterilisation differs from borough to borough. They really did look at me as if I was mad (for wanting it) but now I know it is possible to get it done, I'll go back and push for it.

Anyway, have been to Boots in the meantime (they must have thought I was a hooker the number of different condom packets I bought ) so here's hoping for a positive experience tonight!!

Thanks for all your thoughts.

I still haven't been able to locate any spermicide.

What's w/that?!

Good luck, highland. The thought of condoms just kills my libido entirely.

thanks for that harpsi - the link didn't work but I can see you were trying to point to the inspiral ones! I didn't find those today but did get loads of other ones (incl those durex ones you mentioned)

thanks expat

Are they saying no to sterilising you full stop(removing/clipping your tubes) or to removing your ovaries(obviously results in sterility but also causes menopause,quite a big deal in your thirties)?

yes kama
try it and see

inside the condom I mean
god waaaaaaaaaaaay tmi or wot

Lubricant: try something other than KY. That was designed to lubricate between flesh and medical appliance, not between flesh and flesh or flesh and latex. It's not the best there is. Visit \link{http://www.sh-womenstore.com/catalog/index.php?cPath=34_105&osCsid=c466607b35fce3ac9e4922cdad306138\here}. I like Liquid Silk .

gosh isn't this thread educational

FILTH

shudder hc

stop now

This whole lubricants discussion puts me off condoms even more.

Yick.

yes it's a bloody good tip actuallu cod, given to me b a prostitute client of mine iirc.
I might send it in for tip of the day, whaddyreckon?

What did she wear, HC? To her appointment with you, I mean?

she was very beautifully dressed and groomed, like a sort of well kept Tory wife. though with slightly flashier jewellry.
she had lovely gold taps too.