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Original poster

DP just said his balls HURT if....

35 replies

NeedSomeSun142 · 14/07/2013 11:20

he doesn't have a wank at least twice a day?!?!

I mean WTF, he goes on to complain about the lack of sex in the past 3months. I then had to point out the fact that I had a baby 6 WEEKS ago and obviously before that was heavily pregnant!

I did have to laugh when he said his balls hurt, but twice a day?? really??

OP posts:
MortifiedAdams · 14/07/2013 11:24

Meh....Id just say "well, get on with it then".

Presumambly pre kids you didnt have sex twice a day so if he needs to do that that frequently, hed be having a wank sex or no sex, at least once a day.

Dont have sex til you feel ready. Youve just pushed a human out of your fanjo!

Lweji · 14/07/2013 11:25

Is that a problem for you? His wanking?

Did he complain properly or just said that he hadn't had any?

theorchardkeeper · 14/07/2013 11:29

DO NOT have sex until you feel ready or you'll feel hurt and resentful. I hope he's not actually pressuring you? Hmm

And as for the wanking...great! Saves you the bloody hassle whilst you look after the baby you only just popped out of your poor fanjo! Thanks

burberryqueen · 14/07/2013 11:32

most men are wankers IME I doubt your hubby is an exception

DelayedActionMouseMaker · 14/07/2013 11:33

How old is he! 12? Tell him to grow up.

Original poster
NeedSomeSun142 · 14/07/2013 11:35

no im not hurt finding it quite laughable really, but I find it hard to believe that his balls hurt if he doesn't keep his 'routine' up.

no he's not pressuring me at all we were just having a debate about the amount of porn he watches. The only thing that bothers me about that is the bill we've just had for the internet!!

can balls hurt if they are 'full'? I thought It was a sort of myth

OP posts:
LIZS · 14/07/2013 11:36

sounds like a load of ... to me !

monkeyfacegrace · 14/07/2013 11:38

Why is he paying for porn?

That would be my gripe Grin

Otherwise let him crack on.

HeySoulSister · 14/07/2013 11:40

What bill for the Internet?

Trills · 14/07/2013 11:41

Balls don't get full.

Lweji · 14/07/2013 11:43

My ex never complained about pain in his balls although he was a pain in the neck.

He may feel something, I suppose, when he gets aroused.

I'd get upset about the cost, though.

theorchardkeeper · 14/07/2013 11:46

err if his porn habit is costing you then that's an issue.

Literally spunking money up the wall isn't on. imagination is underrated these days

Glad he's not pressuring you though.

Also, he's either making it up or ill so basically it's a fib

karinmaria · 14/07/2013 11:48

Oh god. My DH said something similar a few weeks after I'd given birth, I took it badly and looked up to see him shaking with laughter! He was joking - balls can't get full as the body re absorbs any semen that is left in there. DH still laughs about it as I was so gullible...

If he's downloading loads of porn he needs to do two things though:

  1. change your broadband package to one with no download limit (think Sky has this?)
  2. get busier and do more around the house and with the baby. Tbh he shouldn't have time to search for, download and wank to porn twice a day when he's got a six week old baby!
Lweji · 14/07/2013 11:54

Also, if he's that desperate, does he really need porn? Hmm

wundawoman · 14/07/2013 12:03

Burberryqueen Grin !!!!

CogitoErgoSometimes · 14/07/2013 12:40

Leaving aside the dubious morality of wasting family money downloading porn for a second... he must be utterly self-absorbed and completely thick to talk about PAIN to a woman that only gave birth a few weeks ago.

AmandaPandtheTantrumofDoom · 14/07/2013 12:43

If he's finding time to wank that much and download that much porn, he's not pulling his weight with the new baby. He shouldn't have that much time on his hands

He sounds rather self absorbed and immature TBH. Is he generally?

And it's bollocks.

CoalDustWoman · 14/07/2013 12:45

You shoud do your best concerned face and suggest he goes to the doctors.

InLoveWithDavidTennant · 14/07/2013 12:46

he sounds like a twat!

dh says balls dont hurt.

why are you getting internet charges? how much is he watching? is he paying for porn? that would be an issue for me (not the watching... but the paying)

Original poster
NeedSomeSun142 · 14/07/2013 15:27

it costs for how much internet used, he's gone over our limit by watching videos online!!!

he's paid for the bill.

tbh it was the comment about his balls hurting if he doesn't get rid of the excess.

so it's a load of bollox then. OH is adamant it's a true fact!!! still now he he is saying its true

OP posts:
MrsSchadenfreude · 14/07/2013 15:52

Send him to the doctor. He may have a congested prostate.

YouSirName · 14/07/2013 15:54

Can't pretend to know what the pains of childbirth are like but can confirm that men do occasionally get DSB but it passes in a matter of hours (and is only brought on by serious arousal).

Quit the porn and the problem will disappear. Not being able to quit it maybe the next bridge to cross.

Hope it all goes well

InLoveWithDavidTennant · 14/07/2013 16:14

if he really is getting pain like he describes.... then he needs to see a doctor. it wont be for the reasons he's saying though... because, quite frankly, its bollocks Grin

k2togm1 · 14/07/2013 16:20

Tell him it'll go away, after three months he'll also notice a decline in his libido Wink only to have to find his swing back at 6 months if he is lucky.
And get a no limit broadband connection.

OnTheNingNangNong · 14/07/2013 16:21

My husband said something similar. He too is a habitual wanker. Your OH needs to stop wanking and change your broadband package.