I don't know where to start

[SolihullBorn]

The only thing I know is that I'm flying to New Zealand on Monday to bring my little grand-daughter (4) home to England just as soon as I can. My darling son and his dear wife were killed there just 3 days ago so I'm flying out. I have no proper idea what I'm going to have to do when I'm out there. I have a few contact addresses and of course I know where little Amy is being looked after but I don't even have a key to my son's house. I've no idea if either of them made a Will or anything about their finances. What about the funerals? I just don't know where to start. Amy is going to be so sad and confused leaving her home and her friends and I don't know what to say to help her. I need help or a checklist or something.

i have no advice... i just wanted to say how sorry i am and my thoughts are with you and all their family and friends... and especially amy

My wife has asked me to keep you up to date.

My wife and son are safely in New Zealand. They were met at the airport as arranged and were taken to see little Amy and the foster carers. The carers are excellent and very experienced.

The British High Commission have been excellent as well. Sadly UK citizens dying in NZ happens quite often so there is a well known procedure.

Amy's other GParents were "intercepted" at Dover and will arrived in NZ on Friday (NZ time)

All agree that the bodies must be shipped home with a double funeral here.

My wife and son have gained access to the house getting the key from the neighbour and with the police there to confirm it was OK.

There is a Will and the 2 or 4 of them are going to the solicitors to see it Friday PM (NZ time)

As Amy is a UK citizen bringing her home is OK and not legally hard. She has permanent right of abode in the UK.

I have prayed to Our Lady twice a day that she might give Amy and my son and Wife the strength they need

Thanks for updating. So good they have a will- so many people don't.

My heart goes out to you and your family xxxxx

Such awful news, solihull, Glad that things are as smooth as can be expected.

Strength to you all over the coming months.

I am so sorry for your loss and I like everyone else am holding you in my thoughts. I hope bringing Amy back to the UK goes smoothly and I wish you strength for the time ahead.

I cannot imagine how you are feeling. I am so very, very sorry for your loss. I wish your family and your late son's parents in law and family strength and courage. As someone else said, I hope that dealing with the practicalities will carry everyone through the first few days and weeks. I hope too Mr Solihull that your church is providing support. I am sure they will be. It must be awful not being able to go with Mrs Solihull. Be prepared for media attention, I am afraid. Your local police force will be able to advise on this.

I'm so sorry for your loss but glad things are not unduly complicated to add to the burden of it all. Much love to you all, and especially to Amy.

Couldn't click and run. I'm so sad for you and your family. Hoping you get the best of information and help xxx

Mr Solihullborn, you sound so dignified, and so sad. I am so sorry that this has happened, and my heart goes out to you all.
Your granddaughter is extremely unlucky to lose her parents at such a young age, but at the same time she is lucky to have such a caring extended family.

I am so sorry. My heart goes out to your family xxx

Mr S

If you want (which you may not) to maximise the responses to this thread you may want to ask the site if it's possible to change the title, or start another with a similar one.

Mrs S posted asking for help in the bewilderment of such a huge and traumatic loss. But it may be read as a day to day relationship issue by many and overlooked.

A trivial matter - am just thinking how all help possible can be accessed - if this is what you need.

Strength and courage to you.

Thank you Mr Solihull for updating us. Sending you and your family all good wishes for the strength you'll all need in dealing with the next weeks.

On the other hand, it may gain its own momentum. Either way, sending you strength.

Bump

This is such an awfully sad and tragic thread, i hope it all goes as smoothly as possible for your wife and the other Grandparents who must also be distraught.

Has it been reported in the British press at all, i knew a couple who died in a car accident in France and it was in the national press here.

So sorry.

So sorry for your loss and my thoughts are with the whole family.

Take care and I hope that everything goes as smoothly as it possibly can under the circumstances.

I don't think they do that unless all parents have been informed, WaitMonkey. How awful it would be to read it in the press first.

Fair point Imperial, actually it was me who asked about reporting in the press.
It certainly would be appalling to find something out like that.

I didn't realise the other GPs had only just been told.

I'm so glad you updated us MrSolihullborn. I'm sure you son will take care of your wife and it will be good for Amy to have her uncle around. I hope you have someone taking care of you as well - do you have support at home?

Thank you so much for the update.
So sad for your all and really don't know what to say.
Will be praying all goes as well as possible for them all.
Much love to you all!

So sorry for your loss.

So very sorry for your loss. Adding my prayers to yours.

So very sorry to hear this awful news. Praying for you all.