Another Thread (LoserNoMore...again)

[LoserNoMore]

Hi, so on another thread but not really much further forward, in fact I feel worse. Anyway I've been to the doctors and have Anti D's and referred to a counsellor. Hopefully these will work.

Thanks to everyone for their support on previous threads and PMs too, it is all very much appreciated.

SAF do you want deep and meaningful with vguy or erm...not!!
LNM what a stress for you can you block his number or get another phone just for dcs contact messages? Glad hes opening up about how good you are though???

He's a complete dickhead. He hasn't managed to win you round as you're so unreasonable so he's back to stupidity and insults. You might feel vulnerable but you're in your own home with your dds and you have JD's stomach to look forward to.

He has lost access to his dds on a daily basis, he's moving into a crappy flat without his own furniture, he's possibly having a fling with a woman who doesn't know what a twat he is (yet) and most importantly, he's lost the love and respect of an amazing woman.

I know who the stronger party is here.

He's such an emotionally incontinent child. What a dick.

That sums him up nicely, Core.

Cjel, I'd rather he didn't, it's probably all bullshit anyway. Too little too late. He never asks how I am. It's always about him, he thinks because I'm the one not taking him back that I'm perfectly happy and over it. Little does he know what he's actually done to me and the girls. But he doesn't care about that, it's all about him.

Ah thanks Lazarus. When you put it like that...don't know about the amazing bit though.

Oh you are amazing LNM - you may not realise it, but your are!!

And so say all of us!!!!

He is such a knobjockey and I feel for you having to put up with this.

You're so right about it being all about him. Spouts bullshit about winning you back then all he does is stamp his feet squealing what about meeeee!

Console yourself that he will always have been this selfish. Its just much easier not to see it when the benefits for him just happen to be mutually beneficial for you. Now the shit has hit the fan it's clear that he puts himself right at the forefront and everyone else should just STFU. This side of him would have come out eventually, better now than in 10 years.

Its probably best not to text him but I'd be very tempted to let him know you can do far better than a selfish, cheating loser like him.

SAF - you speak perfect sense re men being good fathers etc!! I couldn't agree more!!!

Honestly, LNM, I would love dd to grow up with your self-respect and attitude. I would hate her to be walked over by a man and not be able to show him the door if he stepped out of line. I want her to grow up knowing her own worth as an individual and as a woman. I feel that you are a shining and amazing example of that.

Too many people take second best too often and for too long. I was cheated on by a bf when I was a teenager and I stayed with him despite him doing it several times. Then I stayed in an abusive relationship in my early 20s for so long I finally felt nothing and the only thing that kept me going was the thought of leaving my ds with him alone. So I DO think you're amazing and I wish I'd had half your strength, resolve and self-esteem. I'd never put up with any of that shit ever again and made that very clear to dh in the early days of our relationship! I didn't want life to be a constant fight any more.

and to all the strong women on this thread.

Hear hear Lazarus!!!

Believe it or not my self esteem is at an all time low. I think the girls would think I was amazing if I let their dad move back in. It's a huge responsibility knowing that having their family back together is down to me. Even though he was responsible for the whole thing I know I only have to say the word and our family could be back together. It's not going to happen but I'd hate to think the girls ever resented me for just forgiving and forgetting. I hate that he's put me in that position.

Thanks for the kind words, there are lots of amazing woman on this thread and others.

Sorry, reading that back, it doesn't really make sense but I know what I mean.

LNM - I was being sarcastic about him realising your wonderfulness being a good thing.
YOur family being broken is down to no one except him, don't let the thought its you cross your mind. You have only reacted to what he had already done.
Don't let idiot grind your self esteem any lower.xx

I understand what you mean. Your girls are too young to understand the dynamics of what is going on, but they will as they get older and you are modelling strong positive behaviour for them.

Remember that for all his words he has done nothing to try and put this right. He's tried getting aggressive, manipulative, controlling, guilt tripping. At no point has he made any real attempt to try and recover things, it is about him and him only. He has also tried to manipulate your girls by saying he's been silly and trying to make you at fault. His behaviour since is actually more deplorable than the cheating.

When you think that you can put the family back together for your girls all you will be doing is showing him all he needs to do is squeal what about me long enough.

You deserve better and your daughters deserve to see relationships when women are not treated like a piece of shit on his shoe.

You ARE amazing and will get through this.

It wouldn't have been too long before he began to disappoint them, or even betray their trust with selfishness. They will see through him in time and understand.

Sorry Cjel, I get you.

I think to the girls it's very cut and dry, well for most children that age really. They'll understand better when they're older.

He's called twice in the past hour. He's an idiot, especially after last time, same scenario. He knows better than to turn up, still feel a bit nervy though.

WHY IS HE CALLING?!?!?!

Ahem. I'm sure you feel the same, LNM.

Is there anything you can do to make the calls stop? Its hard enough going through it without him making it that hard.

Oh what a twunt!! Seriously?!?!?! I'm sooooo

Oh LNM why does he continue to do this?

Have some

Ha yeah Core, just a bit! I know I'm assuming he's drunk but this is what he does when he's had a drink but he's meant to be picking the girls up tomorrow. I'm not bothered if he doesn't but he said he's taking them out somewhere so they are excited.

I could switch my phone off but I'm a bit apprehensive to do that Cjel incase he texts that he's on his way or something. He doesn't like being ignored. I'd rather have prior warning.

I don't know imtheonlyone, alcohol? Thank you.

yes thats a problem isn't it. AT least if you know hes texting you have a bit of control.
Is it time to report all this to the police? I'm the biggest softy on putting up with crap from my 'poor' xdh but I can't bear the thought of you having to put up with this especially when your feeling crap already.

just had a thought about what you said and realised that he will have to get used to you ignoring him if you don't want contact and that the police will have to help him understand. Its really bad threatening , bullying behaviour and its not your problem any more.

The police are already involved. I have a direct number they gave me. I don't think he'll appear unless he's really drunk and extremely stupid.

Thats good, i think they need to have a word to stop the txts not just the visits?

He's been warned about it all, he's obviously forgotten.