Dating thread 58 everyone welcome

[Kirstywirsty]

The Rules

1. Develop a thick skin;
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
4. Trust your gut instinct;
5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
7. If it's not fun, stop
8. loo update is mandatory

OWW all still very well, just off to take him back to the airport

Juliette You can't keep a good man down

Its Mr R&Rs birthday tomorrow. I shall be serving him a special treat. It will not involve food

Yes Wine that's what he wants - I can't bring myself to google, I don't think. He wants to take me out for dinner, wearing his key on a necklace

Glad things are ok Juliette

I'd wish Mr R&R a very happy birthday 48 but I suspect that would be superfluous

Kin tbh I think the real reason for his lame attempt at manipulation was that I didn't matter enough to put any effort in.
Had we been making a business deal I'm sure he'd have paid alot more attention to what made me tick.

When I hear about men and their inept attempts to manipulate & deceive I do wonder if it's that he thinks she's a 'mere woman' and therefore not worth the effort

ahem. Women have been known to be manipulative too... :) I lose track of the number of threads I've read on here about toxic manipulative MILs...

Bant of course women are just as capable of being manipulative.

My point was not about the extent to which men are manipulative.
It was to do with not regarding women as important enough to put in the effort required to see what makes them tick.

Wineof course there are some advantages to being seem as a 'mere woman' it's very easy to do a number on someone who underestimates you.
But when it comes to personal relationships it's nicer to be seen as an equal human being

Hey everyone, no time to catch up atm, will before bed though!

Mr Distant does want a relationship... but now I am seriously liking Guy 2. I pulled a third all nighter talking to him last night. So so easy to be with, naturally fall into being myself, as does he. So decided to pull out of being in a relationship with Mr Distant and will speak to him about it tonight. Guy 2 makes me realise that I could want to marry and I could want to have kids, if with the right guy, and if with the right guy, it's not so scary. Mr Distant doesn't want either of those things, but what if he says he could do in the future? The, for the third time, I would be back to square one with him.. so hoping he doesn't say that and that he agrees we want different things so there is no point really starting something.

or do you find the same Bant?
I mean are there times when women are trying to manipulate you and it's so obvious & transparent that you just think 'is that the best you can do...do you really think I'm that stupid'

cuz what we usually hear from men is all that cliched stuff about how women are so complex and impossible to understand...

Blimey Nora that is a new one on me. Why on earth do these people think that is going to get him anywhere? Amazing.

Hello Confuzzled and welcome. Is this your first OD date? The only advice I have is don't expect too much beyond a nice evening - even if you get on well online or by text, that rarely translates into real life. And then if/when it does you'll have a pleasant surprise, rather than constant disappointment if/when it doesn't.

Is there anything specific you want to ask or chat about? Feel free!

Hmm, I think I might be in my post-alcohol crash from the weekend. Am feeling seriously in the winedoom. Still a bit down about Mr 3DD, but coming round to the fact that I have an issue with becoming attached to someone who may have flirted a lot, but had been absolutely clear about what he wanted. A lot of people would have just ignored or even been offended by the flirting, knowing that he wasn't going to take it further, but my screwed up mind saw it as positive attention, and I wanted more. Oh well, something for me to learn from, and learn how to protect myself more.

55, I would be upset too, in your position, but he's been an absolute arse. He really isn't worth the tears, my lovely.

Juliette, pleased all is well.

I remember a guy who asked me over the phone how long it was since I last had sex...clearly wanted to know how desperate I was for it so he could work out his chances of getting his leg over.
I didnt answer his question
(and definitely didnt meet him)

55 is it understandable that you are upset. It is not pleasant being treated badly.

You on the other hand have done nothing wrong. Delete his No if you haven't already and remember you are the 'good guy'

mercury - yes I find the same, that some women's opinion of men seems to be so low that they think doing things like poking me in the pectorals, asking how often I work out, leaning forward and showing cleavage will have me panting like a horny dachshund.

And the ones who burst into tears when they see they're losing an argument (i.e. not getting their way in what I thought was an adult discussion about things) in order to get a man to feel guilty enough to do whatever she wants - emotional blackmail.

I generally point out that my 4 year old still does that, but my 6 year old has grown out of it by now.

Some men are manipulative, some women are - and all people who do it think that it's because they'll succeed, because they're cleverer than the people they're talking to. And some women fall for the manipulation, some men fall for it. It's human nature, and I don't think it's gender specific.

Hi Confuzzled - so come on, spill. Which OD site did you use, do you feel positive about things (presumably you do) and do you have specific questions or advice to ask?

Flipper I would have been enjoying the flirting too. It's human nature to enjoy a bit of interest from someone, even if its not going anywhere. You enjoyed it and you'll get all that and more from someone very soon. Just ignore the Winedoom, it's hell.

Lovely Alpha has been to the chocolate shop on his way home. Think he's got me sussed out too well already ...

Yes Flipper come and have a sit down on the sofa, I've got elderflower liqueur and I've made some chocolate fridge cake stuff with marshmallows and jelly beans in it.

Are those off the sofa allowed fridge cake?

Oh aye, it's share and share alike on here.

( I'm on a fast day, this is poor planning )

but mine's got jelly beans in too