Dating thread 58 everyone welcome

[Kirstywirsty]

The Rules

1. Develop a thick skin;
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
4. Trust your gut instinct;
5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
7. If it's not fun, stop
8. loo update is mandatory

whoop whoop at necking on the street and "horizontal talking" OWW and Moanranger. and Title thank you for the good dating vibes, i'm personally really hoping something will stick or one of my contacts will "blossom" this week for me

travel hello and i've never been on mysinglefriend before, but i have to say even just for the "experience" i think OD is a sound experience if you're single -even if you don't meet "the one" within a few weeks it really the best way to generate dates i've found (finances depending) so signing up for a month to see if you like it would be well recommended by me. recently, i've actually found POF (the free one) to be usable too!

No-one's going to bet against you having your wicked way with Alpha within the week, I think you should concentrate on your scarlet woman plans to defile him and thus flick a virtual two fingers to LM.

( and you're right about Talent, I just have vague worries that he's sitting at home all depressed and thinking no-one cares about him, still I don't suppose it's my problem )

No bet, OWW

For those of you confident enough to try it, there is a pretty-much-foolproof way of getting a man into bed. Buffy tried it on me, and it worked.

Basically, she said 'We've been out on a couple of dates now, I think we get on really well. Shall we see if we're any good in bed together?'

And so we did.

Cuts straight past all the games, all the 'is he/isn't he' stuff. Of course if you like the build up of tension over weeks instead of days it's not going to give you that. But any man who says no when he obviously fancies you has either ethical problems (which doesn't bode well for being good in bed) or physical/psychological problems (ditto)

re: man will show interest discussion

agree that i want someone who is keen on me, BUT also need to show him some attention back.

with the guys who "pursue regardless of whether i show them attention or not":

1. tend to find they were lacking in options - i don't want a playah, but i don't want some guy EVERY other woman has passed over. or they were superficially OK but had some glaring personality flaw that i couldn't see initially (mother issues, or insecure or weird)

1. also i don't REALLY want to get a guy who is so desperate to get me he's a pushover and feels he has to bend over backwards to keep me.

i want someone who appreciates me and is attracted to me, but isn't just so grateful for me that he'll tolerate shitty behaviour? i cringe when i hear women going "oh yes, i can do X to him and be a rude arsehole and he's still fine with it cause he's so keen to keep me" and i think, well i can't respect or be attracted or see as a masculine partner some bloke who doesn't respect himself?

Great thread this afternoon chaps

The balance and pace is soooo crucial.. Nothing is more off putting than too much 'interest'. Or assumptions and 'hi gorgeous' remarks

Am quite enjoying slow pace with FP, he's coming to an event with me on sat although now have child care ishoos and I asked him earlier for his full name and email and he gave it straight off.

Chemistry test is vital too but I'm not in a hurry for once!! Haha give me til the end of the week and I maybe the one laying the bets!! If the times right oww got for it - what bant said is a good line!!

I've had a few dates with guys (some went very well, just nothing more than a bit of fun though) from OKCupid so am going to start using that again. A lot of the guys are still students though. I tried match.com for a while but think I'm perhaps a bit too young as there weren't many men in my area who're in my rough age bracket (under 30). POF is the site I encountered FakeTim so I'm reluctant to use that anymore!

Any other good dating site recommendations? I don't mind paying.

OWW step away from LM, literally and figuratively you sound so much happier when you post about Alpha, no angst, no trying to work him out, no being over understanding, just happy. LM had lots of good bits, I know he made you happy and made you laugh and got YOU, but not enough ..... because he also let you down and ignore you and remember "little friend"? NO, you don't want or need that again.

DTD with Alpha, we like the sound of him

Kin how was it left with talent show?

spangled I think you've got the main 3 down there? mysinglefriend looked fairly classy to me but i've not used it? i wouldn't let one weirdo put you off a site, just learn from it to "trust the unsure feeling" and move on.

Bant tonight i am in other end Aruba situation, european texted to say his flight very delayed. unfortunately no offer of a midnight picnic, but I am going to meet him late even if just for an hour

Tigsy we were just flirting and exchanging texts as usual, nothing out of the ordinary. If he's not interested then that's fine, I've no intention of hassling him but I don't want him being all miserable and thinking I'm not bothered. Pfffffffttttt.

OWW what Tigsy said. I still harbour a sneaky belief that Alpha is going to be pleasingly assertive in bed

Finally Aruba replied. She said she went for cupping today and almost died, ended up crying at her car and feels terrible now.

I have no clue what that means

its like a middle eastern "health treatment" that's a bit weird (never had it but think of it like acupuncture or a very "physiotherapy" style massage etc)

i wouldn't say an hour or a couple hours treatment prevents one from using a phone or computer though to reply though

see THIS Bant

not sure what the point of sharing this information with you though? "my dog has a headache, so excuse me if i'm unreliable"

enjoy frenchgirl

Thanks lorna - two of the guys from my old workplace met their partners on eharmony but it also gives me the 'old' vibe! Will maybe check out mysinglefriend (do I need to get one of my friends to fill that out for me?! I can just imagine how they'd sell me! ha!)

How is everyone tonight? I have strawberries, ice cream and meringue and a white wine spritzer...I feel like sharing!

Boots never used MySingleFriend, it has a reputation as being good for casual hook-ups at least among my crowd. Personally I don't like the whole someone else writes the profile gimmick.

Guardian Soulmates seems to avoid a lot of the fuckwittery found elsewhere and is full of the sort of people you'd meet through friends.

actually Bant looking at the cupping pics it looks fucking awful afterwards, so maybe she didn't want to meet not looking her best?

but that STILL doesn't explain why she couldn't get in touch before today?! i always think of socially unreliable behaviour either as "they're not that into me" OR they're a bit passive aggressive and need everyone else to revolve around them.

spangled forgot about eharmony, yes friend of friend met someone there! well jealous of your grub, I fancy ALL that!

ALittleStranger

ah, call it MySleazyFriend then, always thought of that Beeny woman as having a bit of a dirty glint in her eye

Thanks for the heads up stranger and the tip - I'll go have a wee look :)

lorna - I fancy another portion of all of that!

In other dating news, I'm on POF just now and have just spotted a guy I lived with in halls at uni...tehehe! I'm not embarrassed about online dating but he probably would be!

In non-dating news, got word today that my gran's cancer hasn't spread any further since her last scan which is kind of bittersweet. We know it's not going to go away but it's nice that she has some more time. Going home to see her next weekend :) (sorry if that's too much irrelevant info but I think finding out my gran is ill is the reason I let that idiot guy get far too close!)

hope you have a lovely weekend with your gran spangled

and yeah ALL my peers are online nowadays - i think its just a very time efficient way to meet people, although who knows where our true loves will be found?

PS only confusing thing is if you spot someone you know lying massively on their profile - "erm six foot tall and MEDIUM build, don't think so!"

Spangled as you start doing it you'll realise everyone's at it. I'm always seeing people I know. Which does make me wonder why I don't just flirt more at work events etc!

it depends who you want to meet i guess Stranger.

i could probably fish within my own social pool - i find chemistry in day to day life - but i quite like keeping it separate from my "dating life" and meet people "outside the circle" who are unconnected to anyone else i know. its always a bit controversial projecting "i am single and looking" vibes at work etc because I DON'T want to get latched onto by unsuitable desperados.

Text him then kin and see how he is!

Yes there is a big attraction to a degree of anonymity Lorna. But I also think the odds are better if there's some pre-existing even if undiscovered connection there. Plus there's some psychological quirk that I cannot recall the name of which basically means we're more attracted to people we think we have a link to.

But I don't like putting out "single" vibes out and about either, which is why I like OD - it's nice to have a list to browse through and the security of a bit of real life vetting.

I went to a party on Friday and got talking to a woman who was clearly just there to pull to the extent of overtly checking if I was going to be in competition with her and it reminded me how much I hate going "on the pull". But I guess it pays off, if love and all that shit are your thing.

Evening all. I've yet to come across anyone I know, probably a mix of being in London and my advanced age!

Worryingly, not a sniff of a hangover after that bottle last night, but it seems to have worked - a lot less woebegone today

I shouldn't have said anything! I just messaged a guy on OKCupid because he looked cute and we have a lot of common interests...only to realise once I'd sent it that he knows a bunch of people I used to work with (the industry I work in in Glasgow is fairly incestuous anyway but I'd just not met him on a night out/at an event yet) Glad I didn't say anything too controversial!

lol stranger

in my early 20's i was at my own at a sports society event, quite a new member. i think it was roughly the same amount of men and women BUT of course some of the men were a bit if you know what i mean, so i suppose there weren't loads of prospects. also another "girl on her own" was a very pretty finnish foreign student, also a new member, so we chummed up.

women were actually physically "moving the eligible men out of our way" to stop them talking to us, butting in on our conversations as soon as a guy offered to buy us a drink. i made a good friend there, but it was carnage, like some darwinist fight. they don't call it the "meat market" for nothing.

also it seemed some of the women had "brought weird single men mates along" to introduce them to women. we weren't "allowed" to be chatted up by the eligible ones, but it was ok to "palm the weird ones" off on us.

"hi, this is X. X is a bit weird and twice your age, but hey he's single and i've told him there's lots of women here so...."

fucking hell, never again!