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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating thread 58 everyone welcome

999 replies

Kirstywirsty · 02/07/2013 07:46

The Rules

  1. Develop a thick skin;
  2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
  3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
  4. Trust your gut instinct;
  5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
  6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
  7. If it's not fun, stop
  8. loo update is mandatory
OP posts:
OhWesternWind · 11/07/2013 23:44

We had a bit of hand inside tops/shirts tonight too!!! This is so silly, real teenage stuff but goodness it is so much more exciting taking it all so slowly.

lurkinglorna · 11/07/2013 23:53

Juliette

oh ... that's a grand question. I like him enough as in I have certainly made sure I am not logging onto pof for "more options" and also i don't want him to see i'm logging in?

he's pretty much comes across as a "does what he says" guy, which is good? i'd have been very happy giving him a month or so to "see what happens".

we haven't really talked about what's been happening (as you say SUNDAY) just been meeting.

lurkinglorna · 11/07/2013 23:54

OWW Grin hands up tops? Blush

Bant · 11/07/2013 23:58

'thought the French girl had told you she wasn't interested ..?'

Well there is that. Actually she said she was trying to find someone better than me, as I broke her heart years ago (her first love) and didn't know if she could ever be with me again after that.

But.. Hope is a terrible thing.

OhWesternWind · 12/07/2013 00:00

Just a little bit, not in the bosom area or anything, more like a stroke on the back but on bare skin. It sounds like nothing but it was lovely.

Lorna go and see the other one or else you'll always be wondering.

OhWesternWind · 12/07/2013 00:03

Bant I am so hoping for a happy ending (in the non-sexual sense - or in both senses if you prefer) for you with the FrenchGirl.

Doesn't know is very different to no.

Kirstywirsty · 12/07/2013 08:00

bant what did you decide to do?

I still haven't heard from FoF .. We had said tomorrow but no firm plans .. I hate not being organised .. I am pretty sure it will still be on .. Aarrrggh sits on hands after hiding phone

OP posts:
Newstart13 · 12/07/2013 08:33

No oww that sounds more intimate and romantic to me Grin so pleased its going well.

bant dilemma... Maybe fate!?

Kirsty agree re frustration of not being organised.. It's definitely on my wish list. Not being messed about - don't think they mean to, but my personalty works better with clarity. Incousiance is tough...

lorna I'd say keep options open. You know, out of every say 5 people (or more cos its just luck) you meet, only one you fancy.. I am trying to see first dates just as a meeting of minds rather than dates..

Last night was a lovely evening. We met after dinner to keep things low key, had a drink then a stroll, very friendly and comfortable. We'll see. His son is much older than my 2, which is ok, but I feel in the thick of little ones and i sometimes think it would be easier with a more hands on Dad who understands? Perhaps that unrealistic and uneccessary but just a current vibe.. Sorry no loo update, the stroll meant no loo haha..

Hello to everyone sorry for those I've missed..

Secretservice · 12/07/2013 10:36

Good morning thread!
Lovely to see so many new faces among old friends! I've been keeping up with all your goings on, but with one and a half cheeks on the sofa, not had much to contribute

Won't name check everyone cos I'm bound to forget someone, but must say I'm missing Nora and Snape's wisdom and wit recently. Hope you're both ok

Anyways had first date in long while last night and would welcome your thoughts. Met him, let's call him MB (muscle bound!), after a week or so messaging and a couple of calls. Not my usual type - see MB - and at least a couple of inches shorter than his advertised 5ft 10!

Date went ok, apart from feeling like a geriatric in need of an ear trumpet, he spoke so quietly and quickly. Anyways feeling a bit meh about seeing him again, until he put his hand on my knee to emphasise a point - and oh, the flutters Blush

So my question, dear thread, was that a sign of covert chemistry, or am I so desperate that a fleeting human touch can send me all aquiver?!

Kirstywirsty · 12/07/2013 10:49

secret hello stranger!! I think you need to go and see him again and find out!!

OP posts:
Secretservice · 12/07/2013 11:03

Hi Kirsty
I'm going to have to see him again, aren't I? It was just so out of the blue! Most odd! And I had to rush for the last train, so couldn't really check my reactions against a good night kiss, too brief and too close to original tingle to separate out!

Fingers are crossed for you that FoF comes good!

JulietteMontague · 12/07/2013 11:04

Secret I was just about to say what Kirsty said. Either way enjoy it!

Bant · 12/07/2013 11:22

secret - definitely see him again and work out if it was more than just a knee-jerk reaction :)

Okay I've told Aruba I'm going to be late (I really can't afford an extra £200 to fly in 6 hours earlier at the moment) and said we could do a late night picnic, or Thursday (when I'll give FrenchGirl free run of the city), or next weekend if that's not good. We'll see what she says.

If FrenchGirl says she actually does want to marry me and have my children after all, I'll be canceling with Aruba anyway. If not, I can spend one of my 4 nights hosting her with Aruba and maybe get a kiss out of it. Or get to touch her knee.

Secretservice · 12/07/2013 11:22

juliette hello! He has already suggest a second date, in fact asked before the 'moment' so I was a bit non-committal - oops.

But he's just texted ....

Really pleased you and Dutchie weathered the storm!

OhWesternWind · 12/07/2013 11:24

Oooh Secret that sounds intriguing! I think there is probably something there otherwise you would just have had no feelings at all or a "yuck". Good to see you on here again and with such possibilities too . . . Do you actually fancy him looks-/personality-wise too?

Kirsty - any news from FoF? Fingers crossed for you.

New that sounds like a really nice date. I wouldn't worry about the age of his son - if he's a decent man he will understand your commitments/lifestyle and he's been there himself as well, so it's not like he is a stranger to what's involved. It all sounds good. Have you got another date lined up?

Secretservice · 12/07/2013 11:26

There'd be no issue Bant had just been my knee that jerked!

If Aruba's a goodun she'll understand, not sure what I wish for you with FrenchGirl, I suppose whatever you wish yourself!

Newstart13 · 12/07/2013 11:42

secret the chap (FP) I saw yest lunchtime wasn't that much of a looker, incredibly tall, but his hands! Very very nice hands and skin.. Weird what is 'attractive'... Get the knee thing.. Sounds worth a 2nd chance!

Thanks oww I agree, just it sure of spark, but was nice... Maybe more of a friend...

bant what secret said.

Am seeing FP tomorrow I hope, have a kid free weekend hence the speed of 2nd date.. his son is with him more than half the time, I like that a lot but it means he can only do lunch, could do with a relaxing glass or 3 of wine Wink. Just currently practising incousiance while he finds somewhere half way as promised... He is about an hour away, not ideal, but he came miles to see me yesterday and it doesn't see to faze him :-)

TheTitleSaysItAllReally · 12/07/2013 11:51

Newstart Mr Lovely has, well, lovely hands Grin

Kirstywirsty · 12/07/2013 16:02

Hmmm FoF has just messaged me after over a week of silence and the day before our date was supposed to be

hey KW..how are you? i've been having a great time ..spent more time in Devon than i originally planned but its just been so nice to seemy sistet again that i couldnt drag myself away..plus the weather and surf conditions have been amazing 😃 been heading north on the long road home and currently in Alton Towers..omg, its sooo busy and so hot but the kids are havinv a great time..hey, they've begged me to stay one more night at the campsite so they can spend an extra day in Alton Towers..theres so much queuing we havent got on everything we wanted to in the space of a day..i'm such a pushover that i've said yes..i hope its ok with you but that means i wont be back in scotland till sunday..really sorry KW, i hope u dont think i'm brushing u off..i'm just such a sucker when it comes to my wee girls 😊 can we re-arrange? i'd love to see u again - maybe when u get back from ur holiday? i see u were at blackpool..how was it? hope u had a good time 😊 x

Thoughts?? ( btw his wee girls are 15/17)

OP posts:
scrazy · 12/07/2013 16:17

Kirsty, sounds fine to me. See him when you are both free.

lurkinglorna · 12/07/2013 16:24

personally I would feel a little bit Angry at the short notice, but then it does make sense - kids come first and he sounds fairly apologetic.

but agree with scrazy if you like him enough, then re-arrange (and just mentally "file this incident away" for future reference, like if re-arranging at short notice becomes a pattern?) but around 2nd date, its fine to be a bit more open minded and give 'em a chance, i think.

OhWesternWind · 12/07/2013 18:19

Disappointing Kirsty but it's exceptional circumstances, not something like "got to work late" which you know will be trotted out again and again. When are you away til?

Going quad biking this weekend with the children and got an offer of a massage off Alpha for afterwards - going to take him up on it but I think he's only kidding, shame.

Newstart13 · 12/07/2013 18:29

Hmmm agree with the others kirsty annoying though..it's a long text, he's told you a lot there, and asked ago it your stuff too.. And apologised..

Hope he's not kidding oww Smile butch so, sounds like you'll see him soon!

Am practising incousiance ...

Newstart13 · 12/07/2013 19:12

Sorry ..

Ago it = about

Butch ?? = but even so

JulietteMontague · 12/07/2013 19:15

kirsty I would be irritated, but mostly because he has left it so late to let you know. All a bit slack. As others have said though, he has explained himself thoroughly, did actually apologise and made it clear he does want to see you so despite feeling stabby I'd send a gracious text and just hope for a good date next week.

OWW quad bike, you're brave!

New insouciance is your friend Smile