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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating thread 58 everyone welcome

999 replies

Kirstywirsty · 02/07/2013 07:46

The Rules

  1. Develop a thick skin;
  2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
  3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
  4. Trust your gut instinct;
  5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
  6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
  7. If it's not fun, stop
  8. loo update is mandatory
OP posts:
JulietteMontague · 09/07/2013 21:29

SAR there are lots of people on the sofa at the moment, do feel free to join them. A few of us are currently in relationships of various kinds and I, for one am very aware that we never know what is around the corner. Good that you've made a decision, but it's more likely to be single for now Smile

JulietteMontague · 09/07/2013 21:31

btw I'm going to run away with Luther at any moment.

Bant · 09/07/2013 22:46

SAR as people have said, do hang around, we could all use your perspective on things, and when you're ready to try again, we'll be waiting for that loo update.

Ok. Aruba. Turned up 15 minutes late, as is to be expected. Looked a couple of years older than her photos, maybe she's 40, she said 38 but no biggie.
Looks like ulrika Johnson when she laughs, which she did a lot. Funny. Strange sense of humour but it kind of matches mine, we seemed to invent some in-jokes during the evening.

Had drinks, dinner, but she was driving so she just had spritzer. Left the place after almost 3 hours and went for a walk along the Danube and talked more. No gaps in the conversation, although she didn't take my offered arm. Not sure if she noticed. It was dark.
Went to a playground and went on the swings. Them walked her back to the car, cheek kiss goodnight.

I will be asking her for another date. I think she'll say yes although you never know.

Nice evening

Bant · 09/07/2013 22:59

Oh can anyone recommend some cheap ish but interesting places to go as a tourist in London? CheshireCat is asking me (having not spoken to her in a week)

lurkinglorna · 09/07/2013 23:10

all the museums are free

british museum
tate modern
national portrait gallery
(plus few more)

tate modern should be combined with a walk along the South Bank to see the street performers

brick lane area well worth a visit for cheap curry vintagey shops etc. also shoreditch nightlife is good. for nightlife, if she stays away from oxford street and soho more likely to actually meet londoners, not just "other tourists wanting a night out in london"

comfortable shoes! so much walking to be done, best way to explore area. it will be a "slight" price saving if chooses bus over tube

just walking round the parks, concentrating on the cultural stuff and maybe 1 big night out is nice if you're on a budget?

akaWisey · 09/07/2013 23:35

Right I've cancelled my membership on OD which runs til 2nd August.

I've rejoined the gym that I went to religiously 4 times a week for 10 years until 2 years ago when the world imploded.

Tomorrow I'm off to buy whole new gym kit.

I just can't do it, checking emails to see if new messages have come in, staring conversations with blokes who then just disappear, responding to what must be bogus profiles set up to keep punters interested and all the rest of it. The law of diminishing returns applies to my experience of OD Sad but I feel better that I've made a healthy decision for me.

I shall still lurk and post here though if I may! Grin

akaWisey · 09/07/2013 23:37

And ffs mr mills and boon is still fucking texting me!!!

Kirstywirsty · 10/07/2013 07:40

wisey all sounds positive to me .. It's great getting back to the gym

bant sounds like a lovely date

OP posts:
Moanranger · 10/07/2013 08:41

Bant Yay! This looks hopeful....
Wisey also consider Meet Ups.
JM have fun on the lakes, oh, & also admire the scenery, too!
I love " ugly but masculine"

TheTitleSaysItAllReally · 10/07/2013 11:01

I'm in a great mood today Smile

Although it looks like I'm not going to see Mr Lovely at all this week Sad I'm away this weekend at a family function and I won't have a child free w/e til the w/e after. I really like him and I like spending time with him.

I honestly thought that after Friday night - when it all got very physical - that he'd want that all the time, but Saturday was lovely. Just mooching around in the sun. To be fair, there wasn't really an opportunity to get physical, but he seemed pretty respectful of that and wasn't mauling me - unlike STBX who would've had his hand up my skirt the whole time and would've sulked if he didn't get a bit of 'action'.

The more time I spend with him (or not this week Sad) the more I like him.

JulietteMontague · 10/07/2013 11:39

Really that is what it's meant to be like Smile

Bant 5/5 on the romance-o-meter, hope you do see her again. To add to the London thing, there is also the parks, Hampstead Heath and Parliament Hill(views).

Wisey I feel your pain. I met my fair share of knobbers via OD and found almost no one attractive. I think it may be an age thing, I described my dating pool as small and shallow. Meetups are good for getting out and about and depending on where you are there is usually a good group of people just being friendly. The gym sounds like a plan, will probably kickstart everything else into place.

TheTitleSaysItAllReally · 10/07/2013 11:47

I know. Well, at least, i think I know! My relationship history is so damned screwy that I've no idea of what normal really is. My lovely friend says it's all normal but I struggle to believe her too...

So although I'm a bit down that I won't see him at all this week, that is the small picture. The big picture is that I'm really pleased with how things are going and I'm looking forward to seeing where they go Smile

JulietteMontague · 10/07/2013 12:01

Really believe it Grin

lurkinglorna · 10/07/2013 13:28

wisey yeah sounds like a good strong decision! working out = endomorphins Smile

Title just Grin for you

Bant just re-read your post about Aruba date and Smile. also, love the way you just chucked in "went for a walk along the DANUBE", when i was a kid A was one of the first pieces of classicla music i heard.

do actually enjoy the way dating gives one the chance to interact with a city in a romantic way, if that makes sense...?

.

lurkinglorna · 10/07/2013 13:28

I meant of course Grin

Newstart13 · 10/07/2013 14:02

Just catching up. Yay for moan yay for bant

Sailing sounds ace JM

Flipper, 3DD probably doesn't even realise, I know it's a men meh rant sorry chaps on the thread but honestly think they are not very sensitive - or 'aware' of feelings and how actions can be perceived etc. it's probably not on purpose..

wine you make me smile, how's the barman?

sar do stay around Smile

Hello to every one else.

Have date with TW tomorrow, really not feeling like it, will o by expect it just to be friends..

Speaking to someone tonight on the phone from pof.. before arranging a date... not sure I fancy him either but i seem to be steering for the safe chaps. Distraction good.

scrazy · 10/07/2013 14:26

Bant, the date sounds great, have you had chance to arrange another date yet. Don't forget, suggesting one the next day is fine by us.

I really need a male prospective on something and might pm you. Don't worry if you are too busy to answer straight away.

scrazy · 10/07/2013 14:27

'perspective' even Grin

lurkinglorna · 10/07/2013 14:32

bonne chance for your 2 dates Newstart Smile

lurkinglorna · 10/07/2013 14:41

was browsing pof profiles last night as i'm a newbie to that site.

Good lord there are some "interesting" people there.

someone had a title "sexy and sensual" and whole profile was very "lairy". the main pic, the ONLY pic, was of him with 2 old women, one presumes his nan and her mate or something? Confused

i was bad and kept scrolling through all the good looking young men with their shirts off! Blush

that said as a match.com refugee (thanks to my bad bank balance ha ha) i get the vibe there are some fairly quality blokes on there? so i'll be saving my money in future Smile

Newstart13 · 10/07/2013 15:07

I think pof is a real chance game lorna there are some really normal chaps on there, then the usual 'just want fun' crowd. I am very very picky on pof...

lurkinglorna · 10/07/2013 15:25

ha ha yeah to picky

i get e-mails in my normal inbox to say "so and so has mailed you"?

without even looking at profile, i think usernames like "snufkin1234" "sleazy1234" and "boombasticXYZ" are not going to be my chance to fall in love this time...

Newstart13 · 10/07/2013 15:40

Haha yes lorna along with 'bigboy', 'yourluckyday' and simply anyone who says, 'how's u' or 'how do you get your fun' etc. Puke!

Unfortunately I think my pickiness just means I attract the boring ones!

Oh well..

Kirstywirsty · 10/07/2013 15:50

new somewhere in the middle .. A bit flirty but with a bit of intelligence behind it is nice .. Unlike the joiner last month who said ' I'm a joiner do you want me to bring my tool' .. I knew he wouldn't be a witty conversationalist and cancelled the date

I am in a bad way .. I was on the treadmill last night and the tv was on .. Usain Bolt in the virgin broadband winked at the camera and I had a bit of a FannyFlutter(TM) Blush

OP posts:
Winefiend · 10/07/2013 15:57

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