The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Off On A Journey Far & Wide, Full Of Support, With No Reasons To Hide.

[Mouseface]

Hey, I'm Mouse, one of the Brave Babes on this Bus. :)

We're heading to sobriety, in various different ways, in our own different ways, some of us are there, some not quite yet.

We're a group of non judgemental, mothers, wives, partners, sisters, daughters, girlfriends, and of course all of the male equivalents that run alongside those 'tags', but most of all, we are, or we have been, just like YOU. :) Real people with real concerns about how much we are drinking all of the time.

Our relationships with alcohol are varied, and you'll find most of us are wanting to do something about it..... desperate to stop the cycle of drinking, stopping, drinking, stopping, drinking more, stopping for shorter periods of time and then the reverse, doing ever so well and then 'something' happens and you're back to square one, a place that sometimes gets a little crowded, one little square filled with lots of people who all want out.

Sound familiar?

You're never alone here. Ever.

Come and take a seat, post or lurk. We won't bite but we WILL look after you, SUPPORT you, if you want us to. :)

And for those want to know how we've ended up where we are today, about three years on from THIS THREAD RIGHT HERE

To our last thread JUST HERE

It will be lovely to meet you so why not take a seat and have a gossip about all things booze related but also, DCs, husbands, wives, in-laws, out-laws, and everything in between.

There's always a seat for YOU xxx

Morning All. Mouse it's a tough one - I don't think my tales of what me friends, alcohol and boys got up at parties at 14 would be helpful. If there is no adult on hand supervising personally I just don't think I would allow my DD to go full stop. Our parties got way out of hand. Anyway not helpful based on what you and DD have already decided. I'd perhaps ask her to call me at 11pm and advise if no call materialised I would be down there to pick her up within the hour, That way she'll at least try to be sober enough for that call, you can gauge how things are going and go and get her if necessary.

Well last week was 4/3 for me days Alcohol Free/Drinking. An improvement but going for all week this week. I really DON'T want to drink. Loving the upbeat sober stories on here at the moment and want to feel all that boinging and swishing :)

Only downside at the moment is my overactive bladder seems to be really unhappy without alcohol - very strange. I think it's caused by the detrusor muscle being overactive, maybe alcohol relaxes it? Hopefully it will settle down.

Purps if you are lurking hope you are okay babe. Love and luck to all babes this week xx

Ladame worrying about something that hasn't happened yet is like paying interest before it's due.

I love this - need to get it on a poster somewhere! :)

Flying in the face of Ladame's advice - I AM worrying about something and it's really praying on my mind - this probably isn't the place to raise it as I don't want to make other's worried too but I am really worried about the damage I may have done to myself through alcohol.

20 yrs of hazardous drinking. I thought I'd got a way with it as I've had several LFTs come back okay. (one didn't) but now having read that they will only detect damage when it's really severe I realised I have been living in a totally false sense of security. Does anyone know how long the liver takes to heal? Also my only real period of abstinence has been while undergoing IVF and pregnant - does pregnancy allow the liver to repair or does it put pressure on the liver in other ways? Getting myself in a pickle over this - it has however made it easier not to drink!

Green Glad you liked it! It is one of my DM's sayings
I too am worried about what I might have done to my health over the years. I did the quiz and got pretty shaken by what was said about liver damage

I think the liver can start to regenerate quite quickly (this is from what I have read in the past), but how do you know exactly how bad your liver might be at the present time? I have no idea and this can keep me awake at night for a good few hours.

I think it helps to look at your general health. Do you find that the whites of your eyes look better after a couple of days? Does your tummy go down? Is your skin a (regular) colour? Does your energy and sense of wellbeing come back? I think (and this is just my personal opinion) that if these things happen, then you can't be too damaged. I would expect that even giving up or cutting down wouldn't help if you were too far along the path of liver damage.

I had an ultrasound, blood tests and endoscopy last year (bad ulcer) and was told that everything (apart from ulcer obv) was fine. I was so surprised, as I live in dread of tests because of my drinking habits, that I asked 'are you sure' and the dr seemed surprised and said 'yes why would you think anything else was wrong?'. Over here in France you get the results of any tests given to you in your hand. You can actually then go home and look up the results and mine (amazingly) were normal. Now, I'm not so stupid as to think I haven't done any damage to myself, but maybe not as much as I thought.
I also think lifestyle can play a big part. Eating well and drinking lots of water and trying to get some exercise can all help.
All this being said, it still doesn't stop me from worrying and I think it's a good thing. It definitely helps me have more AF evenings and will stop me after several of glasses less than before.

Thanks ladame I am a serial worrier but for some reason have always blocked alcohol damage out of my mind. I guess nearing 40, losing people and realising my own mortality means I can't do that 'I'm young it won't happen to me' thing anymore. Fearful of the chickens coming home to roost. I want to change before it's too late.

Right weekly shop has arrived, armed with fizzy water, apple juice, AF becks and nice olives for sunny patio treat. Fingers crossed I can change habits :)

One of the greatest benefits of stopping drinking or drastically cutting back is the sheer relief from those health worries. I used to get quite paranoid, especially when my heart would race with all the booze coursing through my bloodstream.

That seems like a world away now. I'm still not as fit as I'd like but I'm working on it. I read somewhere that it's important to keep leg muscles strong because they act like a second heart in as much as they help to pump blood around the body. So I'm trying to walk myself fitter

Nowadays rather than concentrate on what I'm denying myself, I try to focus on getting as much goodness as I can. I love fruit and salad and there are some delicious non-alkie drinks out there. Plenty of ice in this hot weather makes for a refreshing, guilt-free drink.

Whenever I eat what I call crap - cake, biscuits, crisps, chocolate, etc. I feel sluggish and bloated. I really love the challenge of making those good choices and living a healthier lifestyle. It's become my normal now, I don't even think of it as dieting, it's just my natural diet.

And best of all, I feel good about myself. I love not drinking, I love that I'm no longer obsessing over it, making myself promises and breaking them. I love sleeping well and waking refreshed. I love having more energy and, of course, the shiny eyes and swishy hair

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

UPDATE - thank you all for your comments and concerns. I am taking them all on board.

I've found out exactly where the party is, it's on a farm, not in a field. His parents ARE THERE, I've spoken with his mum in person today (I know her from when they were are primary school together) and she has told me that it is the school rugby team that are going for this boy's yr. Not all of them.

There will be supervised cooking, his dad is cooking a BBQ for them. They are to be collected by 10am. I have a contact number for his mum, DD, DD's friend and also the mother of the friend who DD is tent sharing with, who is dropping them off.

Her friends' mum shares our concerns, so we are both dropping the girls off at the farm, checking things out, making sure the parents ARE THERE and that things are as have been stated and then leaving them.

DD is due on her period thurs/fri so will be feeling pretty crappy. I have given her the option to not go if she feels crappy, stay here and camp out in our garden, with a BBQ and 3 friends to stay (that's all our tent will hold)

I have told her that I want her to call me at 11pm - thank you for that greeny and that when we drop her off, we'll check she has a signal. Or she is to use the house phone, I'll clear this with his mum if needs be.

I trust her and she is a very old 14. She's been to concerts on her own (after being dropped off) in manchester and birmingham so I know she has common sense..... this is just on a much larger scale isn't it with more to go wrong I suppose....

None of this may well happen yet, they might have all fallen out by Friday!

I'm going to park this now if that's okay. I have had great responses from you and appreciate your time and support xxx

Hi mouse that all sounds fine. If parents are there I'm sure she'll have a great time especially with the forecast for the weekend. :)

faire great post, thank you. The guilt about what you are doing to your health all feeds into the low self esteem and perpetuates the cycle. Looking forward to not worrying about my innards! :)

I worry Sooo much toooo ! However, reading most advice it says that it is rarely too late to repair damage. I def look soooooooo much better - trying not to obsess about it too much - much love L

Thank you greeny - I feel like I'm caught between a rock and a fucking erupting volcano just now! x

Oh mouse I'm not looking forward to the teenage years. You are doing a great job. lonnika how long is it now? I'd say you are well on the way to repair :)

Hi all :). Sitting on the bus again this eve. Been t total apart from a few days this past three week. Cant believe it really. Having great sleeps, no more sweats. Life is still having it's ups and downs . Mainly in form of nsdp :( I know I need to forge a plan to end things. Very hard but I ask myself daily now can I do this or do I want this forever answer is a resounding no! Trouble is all the practicalities of ending this not to mention fact we have a small dd to consider :((
However am fairly upbeat in myself directly due to not drinking :)
MOUSE it sounds like you have a solid plan for your dd weekend away. You know her best and how she will cope with it all. My older dd didnt ever ask to stay anywhere overnight at the age bar the odd sleepover a friends houses. My dd looks younger than she actually is but she is mature beyond her years (I think).
GREEN I worry too re damage done to liver and brain cells!. Knew I was heading for a fall when I used to get dull type of aches in upper abdomina area :( This has stopped now thank god! but its not good is it?
Sending a big wave to you all. Ladame fair Lonnika inde Purps ma and mumcow and to any other babes who I have missed .
Night all x

Morning!

Day 16 today and I won't be drinking.

Sorry I have been so slack, I will post properly soon and NC. Have loads to say about the health risks, I have scared myself stupid at times and imagined the DC at my funeral

Have a great day Babes and enjoy the sunshine

Pink X

Morning babes, still not drinking:) Have 2 phone calls to make this morning that I don't want to but I need to make them so can someone tell me to pull my big girls pants up and just fecking make the calls!

obrigada do it NOW! Then you can get on with the rest of the day x

Go obrigada sending you strength x x x

Morning ALL, tis me, Mouse

What a beautiful day!! Absolutely gorgeous here :) Makes you want to skip along the road, well, maybe not....... just me!

Pink - you are doing great sweetie, really, really great!!

Thanks Jango - I suppose, looking back, she's always been wise beyond her years, like I was. She doesn't have a boyfriend, and to my knowledge, never has.

She's interested in one of her peers but he has a GF so that's not going to go anywhere anytime soon, she's not the kind of girl to tread on toes. She's seen the pain I've been through with men and knows how painful relationships can be.

However, one of the best memories in my life, when I was little, maybe 4yrs old, my mum, younger sister and I would go to the pub on a Saturday afternoon and have a bottle of coke with a straw in and a packet of crisps, sitting at the edge of the bowling green, watching our grandfather play bowls and watching everyone, including my mother, around us drinking......

I loved those sunny Saturdays, so very innocent:)

Hello to any lovely lurkers and the rest of the Babes I will miss getting on the Bus today, busy, busy here today! Plus my pain levels are sky high thanks to physio yesterday

Crap night (I'm sure I'm not alone) with Nemo due to the heat..... so I'm on a go slowly house tidy. We're having an intruder alarm put in because we've had 3 break ins in the last few weeks in this sleepy village where the most exciting (wrong word) thing that happens is that a cat gets stuck up a tree.

I'm sad that it's come to this but there you go. I want peace of mind and to feel safer in bed at night.

Obrigada - do it, here, do it then it's done. I too hate having to do things that may cause panic in me, or conflict...... BUT I always feel better afterwards :) x

Thanks Green and Baby, 1st phone call made. Second one coming up:)

Second phone call made, I really need to start tackling things as they happen, when it comes to procrastination I am the Queen:) Time to get my shit together!

Hello everyone

Hope all is well in the bus and side car on this sunny evening

Thanks for the egging on Mouse I do really appreciate it. I am feeling great at the moment - who was it who said they were loving their sleep too? I sometimes wonder how many hours and hours of sleep I have missed out on over the years, waking at 3 am raging thirst and heart pounding, taking till 6am to drift back off and then the alarm rings.......I reckon I have YEARS of good quality sleep to catch up on. So I plan to

Lonnika was it you who said you were aiming for a sober six week holiday? As I said, I am so we can help each other along. I would like to feel refreshed and renewed by the holiday, not jaded by the amount of booze I manage to put away.

I am really relating to the health fears posts from various people. I have scared myself silly at times especially with the thought that the liver failure can come on just like that, and with no warning. Suddenly you don't have a chance to stop/cut down/ change things. Before my last big alcohol free run I had got to the point where one evening my heart was racing so badly and my head would not keep up with my eyes - I know it can be like that when you're pissed but this was like nothing I had experienced before - and I just felt a sense of doom which was awful. I was convinced I would not wake up in the morning. The next day I stopped and managed 60 days or thereabouts but slipped back, it is amazing how you can trick yourself when you feel better that you ARE better but in all honesty I have no idea what state my liver is in and it is a risk I should not be willing to take.

Going back to the sleep analogy, I am 37 but I wonder how many years of drinking have I actually done? In terms of recommended units I mean. If I add it up I have probably drank enough alcohol to cover 75 years or more. In other words, a lifetime of drinking. Enough now.

Just need all of your help to keep my focus. One day at a time.

Sorry for that stream of consciousness! Hope someone is still with me

Speak soon babes

Pink X

Hi babes : )
another af day here... so far. Going to hang in there.
Bloody hec its hot! Am shattered today been non ruddy stop. Still got wee one's book and bed routine to do. Then going to have me time : ) a nice coolish bath, hair wash (so its doing that swish you all speak off) then lots of tv or maybe a book..
Obrigda fab about tacking those phone calls. I too can sometimes dread those! Prefer face to face me.
It's very quiet on this bus today, where are you all??
xx

Pink I hear you lovely :)
I think it was me who said about my sleep - I love it :)
Let's do 6 weeks together - if Ido that I will be 18 weeks sober by the time igo back to work :) :) OMG imagine that :) :)
I know I have to do it one day at a time and I pan to :).
I feel like I have been given a second chance at living a long life and I am not going to let anything or anybody spol it for me :)
Good luck to all - Hope everyone is enjoying the sun
Love L xxxx